Hi, I’m Joe...
...Zimmerman.
(Zimmerman with a Z)
((Z as in Zebra))
[((as in Zebra spelled backwards would be Arbez, which is pronounced like Arbies, my favorite place to go for fast food, which is serendipitous, given that my name is Joe Zimmerman))]
I do comedy purely for the money.
My passion is counting my money, which I’d like to see myself do more of. Hopefully I will do more comedy so that I can save up enough money to buy a mirror, and still have enough money left over, to still see myself counting money in my nice new mirror.
There are times when I’m not doing comedy. I call these times, "reality." Reality can be good. Especially when I’m drinking coffee, or watching one of the Bourne Identity movies. Many times in reality, I face challenges, like figuring out where my glasses are, or driving from point A to point B, or figuring out where the light switch is, so that I can find my glasses, so that I can find my car keys, so that I can find my car, so that I can find my glasses which it turns out were in my car, which means I have to start all over again finding the light switch, so that I can figure out how to drive from point A to point B. Often I am able to rise up against all odds, and tackle these daily challenges head on.
Website
zimmermancomedy.com
Influences
Steve Martin, Brian Regan, Jerry Seinfeld, Flight of The Conchords, Chris Farley, Will Ferrell, Jon Stewart, Lewis Black, Judah Friedlander, Auggie Smith, Mitch Hedberg, Conan O’Brien
Early Influences: Scott Bayo from Charles in Charge, Mr. Belvedere, Alf, Smurphs, Gummi Bears, Simpsons
Members
Beards of Comedy: A music video
TV Shows
-Local NBC commercials (or dare I say regional NBC commercials).
-WCNC’s hit Comedy Show "Real Americans" with Butch and Skeeter
-YouTube
Films
"Don’t do your Laundry with Crooks in the Basement."
Starring Joe as Joe, and Joe’s Dad as an evil crook who resides in the musty basement, where the washer and dryer are located.
-1990
"Joe’s Eighth Birthday Party"
Starring Joe as Joe, and Joe’s friends as Joe’s friends. Featuring: Joe’s awesome new Nintendo, complete with Mario, Duckhunt, and that game where you run on a mat! -1989
"Joe’s Fifth Birthday Party"
Starring Joe as Joe, Joe’s friends as Joe’s friends. Featuring: Joe’s awesome new coloring pencils, Battle Beasts, and Micro Machines! -1986
Albums
Spin Doctors - "Pocket Full of Kryptonite"
Joe Zimmerman's Interests
General
Stand-up, creative writing, zoning out, coffee, telling myself to play more guitar, good music, being zinged, being bad at basketball.
Music
Johnny Hiatt, Son Volt, Bob Dylan, Coldplay, Counting Crows, the gummi bears theme song.
Movies
Bourne Trilogy, LOTR Trilogy, Star Wars Trilogy, All Movie Trilogies, Into the Wild, Robin Hood, Shrek, Adaptation, Cool Hand Luke, Office Space, Dirty Work, Lost DVDs
Television
Band of Brothers, 30 Rock, The Office, Arrested Development, Flight of the Conchords, Lost, Seinfeld, Sportscenter, YouTube, Gummi Bears, Jim Cramer
Books
Latest Reads: Freakonomics, I Killed, A Walk in the Woods, Short history of nearly everything
Less recently: Born Standing Up (Steve Martin), East of Eden, Portnoy's Complaint, Hogan, A good walk spoiled, Love in the time of cholera, Unbearable Lightness of Being, LOTR trilogy, that's all I can think of at the moment...
Heroes
Hans Solo, Gandalf the Grey/White, Hermione Granger, Lebron James, Eric Maskin (winner of the 2007 Nobel Prize in Economics for his work in mechanism design).
About me: Just to be clear, I don't use myspace as a forum to help promote comedy; I use comedy as a forum to get more Myspace friends (and yes, I just used a semicolon on myspace).
Who I'd like to meet: 1. People who would like to meet me (Except for fancy car salesmen, whom just want to meet me for my money. Also not Strunk and/nor White, whom simply want to meet I, for mine grammar). Also...Tiger Woods, Barrack Obama, Warren Buffett, Steve Martin, John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Kira Knightly...and Shakespeare to resolve the long disputed issue of whether s.he was a man or a woman. I'm mentioning these additional folks under the assumption that they do not want to meet me, or are unaware that they would like to meet me--unlike Strunk and White, whom sends me emails daily inviting me to they're grammar parties.
2. People who will teach me fun html tricks, that are more interesting than underlines, bold letters, and horizontal lines.
That's right, with this official "Demand It Widget," you have the power to influence my travels. All I need is about one million demands in your city/town, and I will be there.
im going to read your page every time i have a bad day. bc theres funny bits all over da place[nta] bc ::sing:: youuuu make me feeeeel...i dont know the rest. but ::sing:: tell me something goooooooood. tell me that you love me. yeah...
This Is my buddys voice mail to me that i had made in to a cartoon.. He thinks that i forgor his B day but it actually is 6:45 in the morning of his B Day... He thinks we all missed it thats how loaded he was.. so we went over and partied all night with him....
SK was pretty sweet. Let me know and I might be able to put in a good word for ya. No promises though, I think you showcased there while you were still a little too green; and you know how places are after they get that first impression in their head...
your sbarrolicious rhyme reminds me of something i read on a toilet stall yesterday: "as i sit here, broken hearted, i tried to poop but merely farted. "
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