Camaros, Trans Ams, fishin, trotlinin, huntin, drinkin, kickin ass, partyin, bein lazy, county races at the dirt track, Nascar, watchin rasslin, shootin guns out back, sittin on the porch at night playin banjo an gitar drinkin beer, eatin beans outta my old ladies crack, sex wit the old lady...it ain't the best, but it works. Vern's favorite places to eat is Let's Eat Smoked Meat an Speedy Gonzalez Mexican Restarant in Hueytown.
Music
Vern likes both kinds o music, Country an Western! None o that panzy new country. Vern likes George Jones, Conway Twitty, Hank Williams Sr. an Jr., Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Alabama, Jerry Reed, The Oak Ridge Boys, Mel Tillis, Box Car Willie. Vern's a rocker too, Vern likes Vern sum Molly Hatchet, Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Thin Lizzy, Mountain, Lynyrd Skynyrd an Foghat.
Movies
Hooper, Smokey an the Bandit 1 an 2, Gator, Water Boy(Adam Sandler ain't christian but he's funny as shit), Over the Top, Convoy(still like that song), Take this job and shove it, Deliverance, anything wit Chuck Norris, Seagal an Vandamn, there's a few more.
Television
We don't git much on the antena. Vern likes Dukes o Hazard, The Fall Guy an Hee Haw. We's gittin cable soon down our road.
Books
Vern don't have much use fer books. Vern's red only 1 book The History of Camaros. Red magazines an newspapers. Vern likes Vern sum Hustler, Penthouse, Field an Stream, Soldier of Fortune, car magazines wit pictures.
Heroes
Nathan Bedford Forest. Bear Bryant. Vern's Gran Pappy fer teachin Vern bout the corn wine. Vern's number 1 Hero is Hueytown born NASCAR legend Bobby Allison.
Vern's Details
Status:
Swinger
Here for:
Networking, Friends
Orientation:
Straight
Hometown:
Hueytown Alabama
Body type:
6' 1" / Some extra baggage
Ethnicity:
White / Caucasian
Religion:
Christian - other
Zodiac Sign:
Aries
Smoke / Drink:
Yes / Yes
Children:
Proud parent
Education:
High school
Occupation:
Gear Jammer
Income:
Less than $30,000
Vern's Schools
Hueytown High School
Hueytown,Alabama
Graduated: 2004
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: Continued education GED
About me: Hell! Vern waz born in Hueytown Alabama April 4 1966. Ben in Alabama all Vern's life. Vern lives in Bessemer now. Vern gots married to Vern's high school squeeze Violet Jean in 1985. Ben a slave to her ever since. Vern an Vi have had 4 kids since then. Cindi is 16, she's the oldest. She dont look like her momma. She's skiny. Bobby Joe is 14. Sometimes Vern thinks the boy's slow. The boy don't do much. Vernon Jr. is 6. He likes Moon pies alot. He's funny as shit. He ate a whole fried chicken the other day. He ate everything but bone. Vern told him y'ain't suposed to eat the knuckles boy. Emma she's the baby. She's 3. She's chubby to. Violet ain't to good at cookin. All her Momma tot her to make waz fried chicken. She's learnd to fry other food to.
Vern likes cars alot. Vern's gots a 1971 Camaro SS. She's real fast. Corvette 427 engine. Positraction rear end. Holly 750 double pumper carb. Edelbrock intakes. 5 speed. Built rear end. 450 horsepower. Puts all the ladies in Bessemer panties in a bunch. Vern's also gots a 1976 Firebird Trans Am 6.6 Liter. It's a piece o shit, but it's good on the dirt track. Vern's lookin to buy a 1969 Charger R/T wit a Hemi. Gotta git a new job to do that. It's gonna be Vern's first Mopar. Camaros always ben in Vern's blood. The wife drives the shit car. 1978 Mustang 2. Her Dart dont run no more.
Candy Cigarettes
You're a total badass, but you don't taste very good.
Vern also likes fishin, huntin an drinkin. Vern likes Miller High Life. Vern likes there comercials. Vern's a High Life man. Vern's gots 2 dogs, Rufus, he's the puppy an Buell, he's the daddy. Buell's good fer huntin. but, he has to stay outside cause he farts alot. Maybe Vern should put Violet outside cause she farts alot to.
Ye sees, there's alot to bein Vern. Vern likes to kick ass an take names. Vern dont take no lip from the kids lessin they want to taste the back o Vern's hand. Vern's a nice guy to. Just dont git on Vern's bad side or Vern'll hit you so hard ye won't know shit from shinola.
Vern finaly got tired of bein called dumb an gots high school educated. Vern gots his GED in 2004. Made Vern feel like a new man. Maybe Vern should go to colege. Not sure wat they'd think o Vern in Colege. Maybe Cindi will go back to Highschool now that Vern has his GED. She says she doesn't want to be called a slut at school. Vern says fuck'em. Sluts is good folk to.
Who I'd like to meet: Vern's lookin fer partyin buds, drinkin buds, dudes who like cars an huneys fer on the side. Foghat, Skynyrd, Hank jr. an Michael Jackson, so Vern could stomp a mudhole in his bleached out, pervert ass an walk it dry.
Hi jim rose here. yes im the actor who plays the caveman on the commercials so now you have something to tease me about the next time we see each other. Im going to be in your area in the summer hosting rock shows and writing a new book about the people I meet on the road. We should throw a small party together. If you want to hang out ,message me at my other site here www. myspace. com/toohotforfizzle or go to my top friend(same site) We dont read the messages at the circus site. we are getting too many to handle there There are too many there and hard to manage
