Vman The Barbarian

About me:

I am Vman The Barbarian. I enjoy writing, composing, and photographing.

Some thoughts of mine:

Can’t wait to get married - I have LOTS of dishes.

I’m so glad there are Philosophy majors - we NEED educated people in the food industry.

Put “You’ve got a friend in me” in a prison setting - and you got yourself a terrifying song.

If I were a crab - mittens would be gloves.

A coffee shop is just a tanning salon for your teeth.

Religion is like an STD - you’re always willing to share but never willing to receive.

Couldn’t find it right away, so I asked the clerk at the book store “ Does the philosophy section exist?”

Gonna open a Mexican restaurant/comedy club, calling it “Shits and giggles”

If you’re a witch and you own a mirror - I’m gonna assume you do cocaine.

Does having two mulatto friends count as having one black friend?
Or do I need to stop by Foot Locker?

Animals don’t have rights - they have recipes

Kids: Rainbows are just god frowning.

I am a wonderful father to many, one day - I hope to meet them all

- Vman The Barbarian quotes (some of these thoughts are listed under my other moniker as The Rapetilians)


Some of my slightly less moronic thoughts:


A quote will reveal no more about a person, than a raindrop about a storm. However, if you are for some reason interested in precipitations of a clouded mind - most of the thoughts I’ve had, have failed to break free of my head or are preserved in writing; some of the thoughts I’ve had are listed conveniently right below this.

Within a human experience: the past is a memory, the present is perception, the future - is imagination.

...One can never be “perfectly good” - only perfectly adherent to a set of beliefs.

Morals are things people convince themselves of to make themselves feel good about their actions; A way to justify the subjective, and sometimes un-examined conclusions drawn from their personal experience.

Understanding human behavior is like solving a Rubik’s cube with ever-changing colors.

A government benefits when their general public is busy battling imaginary evils - that way they ignore the real ones.

Pride is one of the many blindfolds we wear.

The best way to disarm your opponent is to demonstrate a complete understanding of his argument.

The creative will always feel something’s missing in this world - even if it is but their own contribution.

Being an artist is taking the scenic route to hell.

If nothing lasts forever, then is the definition exempt?

Never leave a gray area between understanding and non-reason: know what you're trying to achieve with every action.

My music, photography and thoughts can be found on my website www.vmanthebarbarian.com come - listen, look and laugh!


My OLD ( and original about me )


If I met you, chances are, I would probably kill you, unless you carried anti-kill antidote achieved through completion of 57 crucial Kama Sutra positions. I am a convicted fellon on the run from the Pastry Chefs Association of America. I am banned from 14 States, the Bermuda Triangle and Nigeria for trying to use the countries name to describe a single citizen, which they apparently found offensive. I am wanted in Albania for calling them " Stinky Macedonians ". There's a bounty on my head of 73 Armenian Dollars ( 49 cents ) for stealing Admiral Funzo's Lucky Cooking Mitten. I do lots of work for the community: when I'm not out teaching rabbits how to swim, I am helping old people across the street, though sometimes they don't want to go, I figure it's just because they are modest. I also know the answer to the age old question " What came first, the chicken, or the egg? " - The chicken, if you find an egg that comes, you are at the wrong strip bar. Last week I purchased a Dirigible, I am typing this on my PDA, as I am on my way to conquer Slovenia, a country that refused to sell me their finely crafted gift-basket industry, and will now suffer re-runs of The Cosby Show I will be projecting on their nightly sky. RateYourDate My band - Bleeding Mirror page
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Rapetilians
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(old) Actual about me:
- I think in ranges of possibilities and the likelihood of an action to cause an event.
- I do not experience negative emotions ( from years of conditioning )
- I say "I think" instead of "I feel" majority of the time, because I cannot feel thought or thoughts.
- I always attempt to end an event in the most beneficial way possible (in the most beneficial way I can think of, in my case ), even to the person trying to bring me harm, because I believe this way has a higher probability of bringing about a beneficial situation to me, and others/society: thereby increasing the overall pleasure/"good" in the society, as the measure is arbitrary, all I can say is it can "Increase" or "Decrease" since units cannot be assigned, potentially only percent. With this method, it is important to keep in mind that one cannot know what another wants, only guess. Also to keep in mind is that: logic is relative to knowledge, and what you think is the best path can only be what you thought of or learned up to that moment, meaning there may be a better path.
- I will not fuck anybody whom I would not consider in the event of an accident ( ex: a condom breaking ) that I would want to raise kids with. Meaning anybody I fuck, has to be a woman qualified enough by my standards to raise kids with. Even though I have never wanted to have kids, and I believe it is likely that I never will want kids, still - accidents do happen, therefore it is logical to always be selective.
- I do not "make moves" on women, because I believe a relationship has the highest chance of pleasure and longevity if both parties are equally excited about each other, and can both express fondness for one another without playing the common mating ritual game. Go to a club or a lounge one night, and watch a guy who is good at picking up random women perform his mating ritual - there are many tested ways that work often and effectively, I don't believe them to lead to long and pleasurable relationships (which I prefer), I believe they lead mostly to quick and casual encounters. Note: I am not arguing against non-relationship sex, I am simply explaining a personal preference.
- The practiced and tested way I first meet people, usually has three outcomes - they really like me or think I am hillarious, they think I am weird, or they find me unbelievably self-righteous/arrogant/annoying. Upon first meetings I intend to learn a lot about a person and test their limits of tolerence and comfort zones - this tells me what they like, what they want/appreciate as well as what makes them uncomfortable, this is usually the first step on my path to eradicating their discomfort over time, however can backfire if the person only meets me briefly and never gets in contact with me again, thereby never having the chance to allow me to explain away their discomfort, and retaining the impression that I am simply an irritant.
- I wish taking a shit, eating and showering came in a pill, because I believe all of these to be time-consuming and not as pleasurable as oodles of other activities.
- I have never once tried an illegal drug, even weed, still a lot of my friends think I am high all the time because of my way of communication and the fact that my pupils are usually huge.
- I am not interested in beer, cars, TV, magazines, dance clubs, cosmetics, fashion or watching sports.
- I am interested in what you have to say, and how/why you came to thinking that's the best thing to say. After you explain your reasoning behind what you allegedly believe, I like to find out what you base that reasoning on, because it is possible this reasoning will improve my perspective, or my perspective can improve your reasoning.