About me:
Hey, man. So, could you, like, spare some change? All I need is enough to get on the bus, man. I'm trying to get to Toledo, you know? I've got a job waiting for me down there. I mean, it's not really a job, it's more like a small, amphibious mammal. You know, like a dolphin, or a whale? Some frogs got hair, too, I think. Yeah, yeah, I know, you're gonna tell me to check Google or Wikipedia. Fuck Google. They tried to steal money from my dishwasher, seriously, and also from my refrigerator. The oven fought back, man. You don't want to fuck with a Kenmore, man, they carry knives in the back of the broiler compartment and they are not afraid to use them. This one time I tried to cook this Thanksgiving dinner and the oven (an off-white Kenmore Gas Self-Cleaning 30' Stand-Alone) decided that, no, this year we were going to have pork chops instead of turkey. The oven had whipped up with rosemary-basil-curry batter, with okra and braised mushrooms in a delicate white wine sauce, and we're really not into that kind of stuff on Thanksgiving, you know? I'm all about tradition. So I told the oven "no", and bam! It pulls out this knife. Long story short, I got stabbed in the leg and we had motherfucking pork chops for Thanksgiving. My mom has never forgiven me for that, and neither has the Detroit Police Department.
Who I'd like to meet: ATM Machine: Feed me a stray cat.
MARKUS!!!!!! I wuv you. I need your presence. I got your text and immediately called bryan to tell him it is essential that we go meet up witcha for I was too drunk to drive. He said he had already magically run into you downtown and I was jealous. Then I broke my phone and I need your number again. You're the best. See you soon. FO SHIZZLE. It's goin down. I really miss you, babycakes!!!
hey mark, I am so sorry for what happend. I will pray for you and your family always. Keep your head up, Laurens a strong girl and she would want you to keep your head up :) I will keep praying for you and will never forget the old Indian Guide days. If you need anything or your family does let me know.
heyyyyy! i just wanted to say thx for comin to the wedding on sunday. hope u had fun... and was able to walk on ur own lol... lets just say u were a liiiitle wasted. haha ohand i finally got those rings outa the pool!
