Hi there & thanks for taking the time to read my profile.
It means a lot that you'd bother to understand me & what I'm all about
instead of just looking at the pictures & judging me on them alone.
…Image isn’t everything…
I understand that to some my outer shell is appealing, but to me; I am just me.
I don't believe that I'm 'pretty'... just photogenic. I do however; believe that I am beautiful.
My difference is that the beauty I perceive in myself is something that goes beyond my flesh & these walls of skin…
Maybe you understand? Or perhaps not?
I'm not about vanity & ego. I instead understand the need to detach myself from this so I can be the real me. As there's so much more to life than the short & shallow moments that these two things bring. When you understand & learn this you see what a true waste of time they are & are left able to focus on the things that are truly important.
Why should I continue the chain of eternal hunger for a state of apparent perfection that’s inherent throughout society? When I know that it does not exist & will never exist.
To what end does this obsession take us?
It does not bring happiness & you’re never going to find satisfaction.
None of this nourishes the soul.
So instead I am content to remain imperfectly perfect…
Both ugly & beautiful in my own way.
with my rules… not societies.
I will not let the rest of the world dictate to me what is & is not beautiful, I have my own mind & opinions & I happily use them. I’m sick of the brain washing.
I wish people could tear their eyes away from the magazines & TV long enough to wake up from the media induced sleep.
Aren’t you sick of being pumped full of synthetic dreams of ‘perfection’ & ‘ideals’ that only result in making your life a nightmare of low self esteem?
Haven't you had your full of the constant need to judge & be judged & an ever growing need to adhere to the social paradigm out of fear of not fitting in… of not being ‘perfect'?
Or are you so deep in this coma that you don’t even realize any of it is happening?
Every other page an advertisement for cosmetic surgery,
magazine & newspaper full of preened & primped celebrity.
‘Perfect’ bodies oozing sex & money on music tv,
The most ‘beautiful’ men & women gracing the silver screen
(Along with whatever products & brands that paid out to star alongside them!)
Anorexic angels & heroin chique female forms paraded down a catwalk,
& plastered all over bill boards to sell yet more things we don’t need!
Little girls’ dolls, designed to shape this idea of beauty for them from a young age…
They’re breeding a world of good little consumers who are trained to believe that they’re
not good enough & not pretty enough.
Why do people still swallow these lies again & again?
The beauty myth, the game of society says…
We fall for it again & again every single day!
stop being afraid of questioning things.
Use your mind & open your eyes…
You don’t have to follow the rules because they say so.
Free yourself from this bullshit & then truly be happy & comfortable in your skin.
I choose not to believe or follow the dominant paradigm's concept of perfection...
it holds no interest for me.
When I say I want to achieve perfection know that it is not that of a vain variety. My meaning of ‘perfection’ differs greatly to that.
When I say I want perfection, what I want is contentment, enlightenment, evolution & to make use of my natural talents & gift.
my perfection is perfecting the alchemy within myself,
Using my flaws to create that pure & beautiful gold…
The perfection I seek is one that is full of flaws & These flaws are mine... ALL MINE...They are beautiful & they are PERFECT….
I'm not going to waste my time trying to be like other people when there's nothing wrong with being like me.
I am happy to be myself & embrace my individuality.
I'm not trying to rebel against the majority... I just don't believe I should conform to something I know is a lie & something that doesn't make me happy or feed my spirit.
...Aim to be the optimum that you can be, Not that someone else can...
& don't forget.....
It's ok not to be perfect.
On the outside nothing is ever truly perfect, it's what is on the inside where you find that perfection you seek.
Even diamonds contain many flaws... But that doesn't make them any less beautiful & precious.
Accept yourself as you are & embrace all of your negatives as well as your positives. They are just as much a part of you as everything else....
...Your flaws make you unique....
We are all individuals from our own mould. So why must we try so hard to force ourselves to fit into another?...
Into that universal mold that is the misguided concept of what perfection....
...ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL...
By forcing yourself to be anything other than yourself you will ultimately end up being left disappointed & deeply unhappy. Forsaking your true self while trying to reach the unattainable.
please never loose yourself in this way. Never forget who you are....
If we all must learn but one thing; then it is to be comfortable in the skin that we are in.
Be proud of yourself & don't let anyone else drag yu down.
...We are all beautiful & ugly....
....because no one is perfect....
....we all have our flaws...
ART is my one true love & saviour as well as a panacea. I use it as a catharsis & form of purgation to rid myself of painful feelings & any mental irritations I may be experiencing. It is to me a form of mental alchemy where I am able to take my entire negative spectrum & transform it into pure, golden, creative perfection.
I can't help put look at the whole world with an artistic vision... I'm compelled to view everything as deeply as possible by examining & analyzing every minute & raw detail of what’s around me.
I crave knowledge & feel the strong need to be constantly learning & feeding my head with new experiences. This is what keeps me going, keeps me pushing forward.... Gives me the drive I need to live.
Life it’s self is very short lived, But Art & knowledge is eternal...
It's can take a whole life time just to learn how to live.... & self discovery is something that is never ending. You're going to be forever learning about & from yourself.
....Remember that you are your best teacher. Never be afraid to be your own inspiration...
This is all very important to me & a key factor in the way I've chosen to live my life. I play by these rules & by the belief that; The Journey is more important then the destination.
I think this because once you've arrived at the destination what is left? Nothing. That is it... game over!
Thus I prey that I may never reach where I'm heading....I instead wish to remain here travelling the great path of invention, creation & self discovery. Forever searching for wisdom & knowledge while evolving in mind, body & spirit.
This is my raging thirst & ravenous hunger...
Always ready for the feast & prepared to grow.
'I'll probe; I'll dig into my sores... To keep on searching for something more.
I'll make myself sick trying to find out what makes me tick....
But I will know all my complex parts.... & I will suffer for my ART.'
...I WILL ASPIRE TO BECOME WHUT I DESIRE...
.
Ok, let’s get one thing crystal clear…. Just because I have some revealing photographs of myself & I enjoy things that some
others might perceive as kinky or weird; does not mean I am a slut!
I’m actually quite the opposite…
The nudity is simply because I like being naked & enjoy the freedom of not having to wear clothes. I am not ashamed of my body & I feel that the human form is one that should be looked at & admired.
Not one that should be hidden away under layers of fabric. My nudity is either me expressing an artistic side & letting myself be fully seen for what I am or it’s me using my body & figure to create an image that I enjoy... be it sexual or artistic. The lines are very fine as far as I’m concerned. One man's porno is anothers artistic masterpiece! I’m using my form to create Art & thus becoming it. So do not assume that because I’m willing to strip off & pose provocatively for a camera I’d be willing to fuck you & every other small minded person on this planet! Yes I’m a natural flirt & confident; but I am not cheap & I am not easy. Sex is something that I consider sacred. I always have & always will. For me there has to be a connection there that is more than just lust… I could never just have a one night stand with some stranger picked up on a night out. I find the whole concept repulsive to say the least. Sex is a bit of an issue for me that I’m still adjusting to & is probably something that I will never be able to regard in the way that most of the western world seems to with abandon & ease. I am not driven by an excessive desire to sleep with people & could probably quite easily go my life without having full sex with anyone, Though when I do have these eelings toward someone (& it's not often) they are very intense.
My head isn’t the same as other peoples when it comes to gender identity. I have a great deal of gender confusion & feel like I fight a war about it inside daily. I feel that for the majority I am male & I identify with myself as male. yet there is still a part of me that feels like a female. I frequently suffer issues with this & just wish that I was one or the other… It’s so much of a headfuck feeling like both! I’ve read countless texts trying to work this side of me out & talked to people about it yet none of it has really helped to shed any light. I understand that I have a unique mindset with it & it does get easier as life goes on… but I do not believe that I am the only one who feels this way about themselves. Sometimes I feel incredibly alone & isolated by it & wish I could just talk to another person who is the same & understands! It would make such a difference to know that I’m not alone. So if anyone reading this has any idea what I’m rambling on about & feels they too share the same issue… please, please, please get in contact with me & lets get some interesting & insightful discussions going on.
When it comes down to my sexual preferences I don't wish to label myself as anything! In essence I guess I am a pansexual... or if you prefer 'Free & open minded.' I do prefer females over males as far as attraction goes (stresses here that I am NOT a feminist!) But I prefer the company of men when it comes to companionship & I always have done. as I have a very male mind set I find that I get on with males much easier than the female of the species. & with the love & relationships side of things I'd have to say that I honestly do not believe that a person's sex is an issue. Yes of course there must be that physical attraction there but I have found that I can be into someone regardless of their sex or sexual preference... Female, Male, Transgender, Gay, Bi, Straight.... None of it matters because it is what is on the inside of that person that counts.... It is the person on the inside that I'd love....
....I choose to see past the shells that our souls are put into....
I’m an extremely spiritual being; though not in the traditional sense where this word is associated with the idea of a God fearing, fanatically religious, Church going individual.
I do believe in god… But I do not believe in a God.
What I mean by this is that I do not believe in a monotheistic concept of God whereby God is considered as a force/object/person that exists as external to us. Who is also considered as above believers in regards to power & importance & requires acts of worship in order to for a believer to gain favour with them.
I have nothing against people who choose to follow this notion & this religious path, as I believe that all people should be entitled to believe whatever they so wish to believe…
I just do not choose to believe in it.
I have my own concepts & views formed from a direct result of my own personal life experiences that do not match up to the ideas of mass, organized religion.
This is not to say that what I choose to believe is right, or true over any other religion. No more so than any other religion is true over any other.
My beliefs are simply the true & right spiritual path for me to follow.
My concept of god - Which I do not really wish to call ‘god’ - is an omnipresence that is in all things. What I mean by this is; that I believe that there is a force that operates outside & inside of us as part of the whole cosmos….The quinta essentia If you like.
I can’t deny that there is not an external force that operates in some perfect & mysterious way when I look at the world macrocosmically. yet I know that same force is also of me & part of me.The universe & consciousness are made up of the same divine energy.
I believe that all is connected by & to it.
This is where my monotheisticesque belief ends.
While I do feel that there is a one force operating throughout the universe; I also follow the notion of Gods & devils akin to the ancient Greeks & Egyptians with their polytheistic beliefs. Though I take the view that each deity was a physical embodiment of a human emotion &/or characteristic & not as a God being worshipped as some separate form or being, who are set strictly apart from ourselves.
I instead choose to perceive them as a part of ourselves that dwell within the psyche of the individual. The physical God/Goddess representation is just, in my view, a way in which people are able to understand their emotions from a different perspective.
by having them incarnate as some form that embodies the qualities of said emotion/emotions it makes them much more tangible & simplified.
This was essentially the whole purpose of polytheistic religion & I feel it was an important aspect that got lost with the shift to monotheism.
As an artist I feel the creative energy of the world around me & within myself acutely. This is the exact force that I perceive we are all of & from & which connects all.
I believe that as human representations of this force we have a unique & special gift to be able to channel this same energy & create alike…
though sadly many men have used it destructive ends.
No artist who has ever felt some sort of afflatus can deny the fact that some divine & perfect energy is in existence that we are all tapped into. It is this same energy that enables things to manifest & be born of intent. I truly believe, that as well as believing what you experience in life; you also experience what you believe… to an extent.
The power of thought & belief, is indeed, a powerful thing. Whether done consciously or unconsciously, my personal experiences have taught me that you do play a large part in influencing exactly what happens in your life.
This is not to say that I believe you are responsible for all your experiences in life…. There are clearly things out of your control (though you can still maintain control of them in the way you choose to view them, hence making you responsible for all of the experiences you have of life.) To me, this is nothing more than a simple matter of the universal laws of attraction; where like attracts like.
It is so incredibly simple!I still wonder why so many have yet to realized how it works.
Think positive & attract positive back & vice versa negative attracts negative…
much like a ripple effect.
Thoughts are pure creative energy & you send this energy out into the world with each one... Whether intended or not.
I follow a very exisistential view of life & believe that we all make are own choices & determine our own development.
There are no boundaries to which a person can grow when outside of the box & it’s important that we do not allow ourselves to be limited in our thinking.
Everyone has their own private passions & things that drive them through life which are their guiding forces that allow them the freedom to become their own creations to become something great. I feel that it is essential to follow & to always strive to accomplish the callings that shout out from the heart & to do what makes you happy & lets your soul sing.
I know that happiness is not a destination but a journey & I believe it's important that while upon this journey we always remain true to ourselves & who we are as individuals… Though, as I have mentioned earlier; maintaining the knowledge that all is connected & keeping a love & respect of it all.
I don’t believe that it’s possible to remain positive at all times & in a constant state of happiness (unless you are a master of self deception). I feel that it’s natural to experience pain & suffering just as much as it is to experience joy.
As is the nature of the human condition.
Having a rather manic depressive mindset I have learnt to adapt & understand this way of thinking & it has helped me immensely to overcome my demons & allowed me to grow & evolve more than I ever used to think I could.
I’m here to live & not just merely exist & I enjoy my life… all of it. I’ve learnt to find the positive in the negative & the perfection in the flawed.
…everything is soaked in the beauty that you imbue it with…
I’m content to explore different angles & perspectives…
expand my mind, explore & get more.
I have no fear of my pain, weaknesses & suffering. Nor am I ever afraid to admit my mistakes or faults, as it is through these trials that the greatest of lessons are learnt.
…My demons, once understood, become my angels…
...My enemies, My greatest allies...
I do not believe that there are any right or wrong choices in life…Just opportunities for us to grow. There are no endings, only new beginnings & every exit is an entrance to somewhere new.
Life & this world, like thought, is full of limitless opportunity & experiences.
Enjoy them ALL.
Who I'd Like To Meet....
I’d like to meet any like minded people…
Anyone who is capable of having an intelligent conversation...someone who has something more to say Then ‘I like your hair’ etc ,
All the People who have a mind & are willing to use it….
All the people who have a voice they’re willing to shout with & heard….
All the free thinkers, The Artists, The poets, The Revolutionists, The strong & the ever beautiful…
I’d Also like to meet Any fellow models/Artists & any Photographers that would like to work with me.
& Any other people out there who share similar fetishes to my own & would like to have interesting conversations about them...
