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  • I Don’t Understand - Faith And Hate - Prop 8

    I Don't Understand - Faith and Hate - There is a whole generation of people who witnessed the progression of the civil rights movement this past Tuesday.


    There was a time when the color of your skin determined where you sat on a bus, what door you walked through, what jobs you could have, what person you could marry.


    Ah, that....

    Many of those same people who shed tears at the sight of true equality bearing its beautiful light on the world also voted to remove the right of others not like them to marry the person they love.


    Many people, who consider themselves Christians and devoted followers of the word of Jesus, decided that Jesus wouldn't have allowed a person to declare his/her lover for another.


    Many of these people had smiles on their faces while holding up Yes on Prop. 8 posters on street corners, marching down avenues with their morals held high and their bigotry held firm.


    These people were wrong.


    What would Jesus do? If there is one lesson that Jesus showed the world, it was that compassion is love. Compassion towards others is the only way for imperfect beings like us to get closer to God.


    Compassion, Tolerance, Love, Faith. They are ALL tied together. How dare these people cherry pick through the Bible and decide that it's their job to determine what love is. That is not the Christian Way. That is not the way of Jesus. That is not what he would have done.


    Jesus was a freak. He was an outcast. He was a social leper. The people who believed in Jesus were stoned, beheaded, murdered and persecuted all over the world. Even as he was being crucified he asked God to forgive his tormentors. He left it to God's hands to judge and asked for their forgiveness. That is Compassion. That is Tolerance. That is FAITH.


    It is no one's right to determine what love is. It is no one's right to take away a public declaration of love between two people. No matter their race or gender. If you think it's wrong, that's your right. If your faith tells you that it is wrong, so be it. BUT LET GOD BE THE JUDGE OF THAT.


    Again, many of the same people who struggled for years for a day like Tuesday to come also just pushed back true equality for possibly another decade. These upstanding people of faith, who cried at the sight of a new day...a new world, also allowed their ignorance to spill over into their election ballots.


    Today I am ashamed to know that people I grew up with, people in the community that I admire, marched down the streets of Los Angeles believing they were protecting their faith and their perception of right and wrong.


    I feel sorry for them as well. I ask God for THEIR forgiveness.


    I pray that people be tolerant to their ignorance. I hope that they come to the realization that there is no room for Jesus on a ballot box. He doesn't care which way you vote. What he cares about is how one shows love and compassion for others. To be a shining example of faith and tolerance to the world. To use an election to take away rights given to a person, on a historic day like Tuesday night, just shows me how far we've come and how much farther we have to go.

    -Jaewon
    9:01 AM

  • A Few More Hours And The End of 8 Long Years - Hope

    Some Automatic Writing:

    I remember 8 years ago.

    8 years ago, I hadn't even returned to making music again.
    8 years ago, I was in love though I didn't understand it.  
    8 years ago, I thought the dream was more important than the reality of things.

    I realize now that the dream is only as important as the actions of the dreamer.

    The dreamer is king only in his own mind.  The dreamer waits for the day when all things fall into its rightful place and they can finally be at peace with the world.

    I was a dreamer.  I was only here half of the time.
    I was naive.  It wasn't wrong to dream, but I was not whole.

    In order to be whole, one must spend his waking life the way he spends his dream life.  When one does not act on his dreams, one devalues the dream itself.  One must be diligent in nurturing his dream, or like everything else in this carbon based world, it will fade and die.

    I remember who I was 8 years ago.
    I had a Revolution of The Mind and I had hope that I would be a better person...

    "hope"...
    What is hope and what does hope offer me in an imperfect world?

    Hope offers me nothing more than a chance.  
    Hope offers me nothing more than an opportunity.  
    Hope in nothing more than a light shining through a crack in The Wall.  The Wall of Fear.  The Wall of Negativity.  The Wall of Pessimism...

    There it is.  That's what I've been waiting for.

    If hope is the light beaming through the darkness after 8 long years, then tear The Wall down.  Tear that shit down.
    Let it crumble into dust and let the light of a new day fill me with the understanding of the person I've become.  

    Today, I chase my dream at the cost of my future.
    Today, I understand love though I question my ability to show it.  
    Today, I know that the dream is only as important as the actions of the dreamer.

    Hope is what has carried me to this point.
    Let hope bring to me the dream of the person I will be.

    I'm ready for the light.  I'm ready for the next step.  I'm ready.  I am.


    This is The Real.  Do you follow?  

    J
    7:18 PM

  • Weatherground 2008 Album Lyrics

    SHINE

    Little children dedicated to nothing
    Post-everything it's just such a shame
    Big city lights, the big city lies
    One by one its all been in vain

    Vanity suppresses the desire to live
    So tie that tie around your neck and squeeze (x3)
    Show your kids to the man that lets you eat
    Every day of your life just like last week

    Well you can count me out.

    Fueled by the fire the one is born.
    Obsessed by desire to break these chains
    Hung by a jury of his enemies
    One by one the mistake is made

    You can count me out.

    All I'd ever, all I'd ever want
    Is to live my life and live it in the sun.

    Hey man, change (x2)

    I feel we are gonna get to shine (x4)
    So you can count me out (x2)


    Life at Right Angles

    The way, I shudder
    At the thought of
    Losing it all
    I'll get it back

    Ninety degrees this summer
    We march
    East then south
    West then back

    Oh, I remember all the Rainy Days
    Here in confined living
    I fear the end, I won't pretend

    One by one we struggle on
    Two by three step to these walls
    But I don't know, I don't know
    I said I think so
    Maybe we should trust life at right angles

    The way, I stutter
    At the thought of
    Losing my mind
    Ill get it back

    Ninety degrees this summer
    We march
    East then south
    West then out

    Oh, I remember all the Rainy Days
    Here in confined living
    I won't fear the end
    No I won't fear the end

    One by one we struggle on
    Two by three step to these walls
    But I don't know, I don't know
    I said I think so
    Maybe we should trust life at right angles

    Step through the slithering sticks
    We'll 86 the inner capitalist
    But I don't know, I don't know
    I said I think so
    Maybe we should trust life at right angles

    Question

    I remember the day you left me
    I remember the day that you went away
    Told me that you love me
    Just not enough for you to stay

    Give me the reason you're gone
    I need to know why you're gone and I will start again

    I remember the day that you left me
    I remember the way you held my hand
    Give me back my heart
    At least let me leave with my pride intact

    Give me the reason you're gone
    I need to know why you're gone and I will start again

    A question from my broken heart

    We took the road less traveled and it buried me whole
    Wanted to go home but I couldn't get a hold of you
    No that's nothing new

    Seven love letters for the girl next door
    She had me running 'round in circles and now I'm all alone and I know
    No that's nothing new

    I remember the day you left me
    I remember the day that you went away
    Told me that you love me
    Just not enough for you to stay

    Give me the reason you're gone
    I need to know why you're gone and I will start again

    Blood in the Water

    I feel like taking my time
    Taking a toke
    And taking control (x2)

    I feel like taking this job
    Leaving this life
    Leaving it all behind

    Why don't you believe me?

    Ruthless, Useless lies
    Blood in the water son, now I believe again.
    Now I can see the sharks, I believe again.
    Take a turn for the best
    Use my heart, don't ever forget.

    I feel like this is my time
    This is my life
    It's time to take a hold

    I feel like this is my time
    This is my life
    It's time to take control

    Why don't you believe me?
    Why don't you believe?

    Ruthless, Useless lies
    Blood in the water son, now I believe again.
    Now I can see the sharks, I believe again.
    Take a turn for the best
    Use my heart, don't ever forget.

    This is my life and you've taken all my youth
    It's all you get.


    You're dead to me.

    Embrace

    Look into the mirror
    My scar feels like a noose and I know

    That every time we speak
    Every time I lose myself.
    Every time we speak
    Every time I lose myself in you.

    I feel a turn back into you.

    From the first time that I heard you're voice
    I knew.
    From the first time that I heard you're voice
    I knew it was true.

    That all would be right in my world
    for the very first time.
    All would be right in my world
    when I look to your eyes.

    I feel a turn back into you.
    I know, in the end
    When my time has come
    That we are one

    Don't wanna grow up.

    You're love is like fire.
    You're love like no other.

    Apology

    I was so young
    Too young to understand
    To know what I'd done
    To know the plan

    Would it save my life?
    Was it right or wrong?
    Believe in fate
    And I'm where I belong

    I would die to see your face
    To see that smile, that smile.
    I would try to find another way
    To have you here, to hold you near

    What exactly would I leave you in this life?
    No place for innocence, no place for the child
    Maybe it's better to keep in my dreams.
    A simple wish that should never ever be

    World
    Where love is a dirty word

    Am I wrong?
    Did I get lost?
    Am I the child or just a hopeless cause?
    Can I be right?
    Can I see truth?
    Should I trust in youth? Should I trust...

    In a world
    Where love is a dirty word
    Where you buy your worth
    Where everybody hurts

    World
    Where love is a dirty word


    Gift

    I wish you would
    Believe in something
    Believe in me.

    I know nothing
    Nothing is ever
    Is ever free

    If only you would
    Open your eyes.
    And see what you've got.

    What you've got is my heart.

    When no one wants to change
    And you're searching for escape
    Into the Sun

    Consider this.
    Consider this a gift.

    For the lonely hearts through the desperate nights
    Into the open arms of a waking light
    We are innocent
    This beautiful strange

    When no one wants to change
    And you're searching for escape
    Into the Sun


    Truth and Light

    This generation has turned its back on me
    When all I need is some truth

    This generator has turned its back on me
    When all I need is some peace

    When all I need is some electricity

    Truth and Light
    Has made me so bright

    You
    You turned your back on me.
    You
    Don't turn your back on me.

    'Cuz all I need is you.
    Or some electricity

    WASTELAND

    Are you all in or are you one of them?

    We are living in a wasteland,
    Let the spaceman take me away
    From this mode of operation
    Demented dimension,
    Even if I taught you the lesson
    Would you land your own two feet man?

    Understand you're underground from the mind down
    Buried from the truth you tune me out and put the sound down.
    But take a moment and tell me that you don't see what I see
    Is it so hard to believe? Is it so hard to agree?

    A generation of the drones, all hail the clones, all hail the clones
    Situation static technology addicts
    We change only with a pop of a pill than back at it

    I'm working on an elevation of the mind.
    You're waiting for an invitation from their kind.
    Well be guest, be my guest
    I take the rest, I take the rest.

    Are you all in or are you one of them?
    Tell me again.
    Are you all in or are you one of them?
    8:24 AM

  • July 31st, 2008 2:21pm

         Started my 2nd day at the new job as a leasing consultant for a super-sized apartment complex run by Corporation X.  Day 1 was easy enough.  I walked around and "shadowed" the manager so I would know what to expect from the work.  She led me to a small closet which held three large helium tanks and box upon box filled with a veritable cornucopia of ribbons and glittered stickers.

    "BALLOONS!", she cried out.

    I was asked to fill up 40 of these squealers and place them around the complex to, in her words, "frame the property and make the place feel like a fun, festive place to call home!".   

    "Sure thing!" said the Freak In Me.  I looked at the bag of poppers and it said "Party Size".  Fitting I thought.  

    I walked around the complex tying balloons to all things stationary and was given a verbal warning by my boss after she caught me sucking down a couple and singing "Billie Jean" into a rake in the courtyard.  After that, I smoked a cigarette and kicked it with the maintenance crew for a minute and the rest of the day was filled with more "shadowing" and eating a peanut butter cookie. 

    Now, Day 2 is a special day.  I was asked to put on a suit and be there by 8:30 am because Big Boss was coming around and the manager wanted everyone to have a professional demeanor and appearance.  It's an important day for her because Big Boss pays her salary.  Big Boss will also be paying for my new guitar.  He'll also be paying for the various cables, picks and things I always manage to lose playing shows in every dark corner of this fair metropolis.  I pull up at 8:35 in my suit and realize my pants are just way too short.  I'm waiting for a flood in the middle of the desert.

    I walk in and the before the manager can say a word, I yell out, "BALLOONS!". 

    "You're gonna fit right in here" she says.

    I walk into the party closet and start filling up sixty more squealers.  The extra twenty apparently provide the proper amount of fanfare for Big Boss' arrival.  Just outside the room some guys are putting up large mirrors along the walls and politely ask if they can close the door on me for a few minutes.  I nod and they follow through with their end wondering why I won't turn the light on in the closet.  I stand there in the dark realizing that I have just been put in a box filled with the reality of my present and possibly my future.  I patiently wait for them to open the door clutching a bunch of party size squealers and when they do I see that they have in fact put up mirrors along every wall. 

    When I step out I glimpse my reflection.  I don't know if it was the sound of my rubber soles squeaking against the pristine floor or the flock of multi-color balloons in my hand, but I could see the light.  I was not a man…I was a clown.  Here in all his funhouse glory to claim the crown of royal jester in Big Boss' court. 

    I didn't know what to do.  What does one do?  So I let go of the upside-down ball and chain attached to my palms and started walking outside.  My manager said something to me but right then The Song started and I could hear the words:

     

    There is no pain you are receding
    A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
    You are only coming through in waves.
    Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.

    When I was a child I had a fever
    My hands felt just like two balloons.
    Now I've got that feeling once again
    I can't explain you would not understand
    This is not how I am.

    I have become comfortably numb.

     

    These words by Pink Floyd reminded me of my own.

     

    Vanity suppresses the desire to live.
    Tie that tie around your neck and squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

    Show your kids to the man that lets you eat.
    Then everyday of your life just like last week.

    Well you can count me out.

    -Jaewon
    5:49 AM

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