1984- Born on an isthmus.
1989- Learns how to play air guitar. annoys parentals.
1991- Lip sinks to Milli-Vanilli.
1994- Gets first bad cause of dandruff. Writes first song "Shake it a' plenty"
1996- Retreats into adolescent jack-off.
2001- Returns triumphant over hypoglycemia.
2004- Fake "kills" friend Jeff Steinman in a little seen/or noticed publicity stunt.
2005- Starts wearing tight pants.
2006- Puts dirt in pills and consumes. Practice is known as depping. Has keg parties with water imported from nether regions of the world. Creates own sign language using just eyebrows.
2007- Thinking Season begins
