Pasta, killer deals on MGD at the liquor store, Tom Arnold, Peanuts, People who manage to hold on to lighters, Floyd Cramer - The Unitarian Priest, gay politicians, Pat Burke, Batavia Iowa, Malbec, Megaman on PS2 (If Neil can ever get it. sigh), Brandon Roy, you know, pizza and shit, Tone Loc, George Clooney!, Cheese sandwhiches, Churnin Gold, Carlos Marmol, Fat gophers, Honey Brown whilst cruisin' down some piss yellow river on an un-inflated raft in Missouri, good behavior, The Bikini Lounge, treatin' the body like a suitcase.
Sounds Like
Thighs rubbing together, covered in sweat. They'll be raw in the morning. Vaseline will have to be applied.
Gold N Delicious on an Iowa City porch, a Cubs game on the radio, Ron Santo about to have a heartattack on the verge of yet another orgasm. And how.
CHINESE "THE CONQUEST OF TOMORROW TODAY" CD Buy in the WHOA!BOAT store
Seattle. 150,000,000 years ago. The fetid stench of volcanic ash lingers over the devastated land. All is still. CRACK! What's that? BOOM! From the magma miasma rises a 50-ft. tall supernaut CHINESE! With the deafening force of a billion eagles all stitched together crying out for freedom. The beast ravishes the land, uprooting ancient forests with swift and decisive blows.
A two-piece instrumental riff-heavy noise rock band.
THE AX "OUR QUEEN OF DIRT" CD/LP Buy in the WHOA!BOAT store
"Following last year’s fantastic (and still hugely spun at NFT) ‘Black Sea’ 7” – also on Whoa! Boat Records, Portland’s THE AX deliver their debut full-length that continues in the same dark and tempestuous approach and if you remember our review of the 7” – we were extremely exited about this album and deliver it does. Tremendously. This wild two-piece deliver the rawest, most wonderfully paranoid and obsessed rock ‘n’ roll dirt that reminds me like it could be released on Gulcher Records. It’s so primitive and heavy…it’s so full on for something that’s so stripped. This is exposed raw rock ‘n’ roll in its purest form. It’s so distorted – both sonically and mentally and it’s a truly wild ride. What a record… The cover art is killer too." NO FRONT TEETH
THE AX "BLACK SEA" 7" 28 LEFT ON BLUE VINYL!
Buy in the WHOA!BOAT store
"Ax-cellent!"
ROCTOBER 45
"These two songs feature an effortless combination of angry blues and gritty indie bar rock. At this point, there would be less fair comparisons than bands like The White Stripes or The Black Keys. But The Ax are much more cathartic and engaging than either band."
THE NEW SCHEME 18
"THE AX is a turbulent two-man garage rock attack. Heavy and untamed this is an unbelievable output for just two guys."
NO FRONT TEETH
"The start/stop nature of "Black Sea" plays to the band's strengths, but it's the B-Side "The Zodiac" that steals the show. This song charges ahead like a punked-up and stoned version of "The Immigrant Song," and is just a refreshing blast of energy from start to finish."
PEACEDOGMAN.COM
"figuring on how to undercut a fleet-footed, busy rock sound with some of the tension of post-hardcore (in the Fugazi /UOA sense), and succeeding most of the time."
DUSTED
BOOK OF MAPS "II" CD Buy in the WHOA!BOAT store
"BOOK OF MAPS pound out several routes of math-rock artistry from Portland, Oregon. As a trio of the basic, primal type - guitar, bass, and drums - they concoct pieces that shape-shift, detour, and turn on a note...This is the second album from this talented group, and it's worth seeking out."
PUNK PLANET 75
"BOOK OF MAPS play abrupt and frenzied indie/rock that reminds me a lot of the Minutement in the way that they mutate in front of your eyes, or rather your ears and shift and twist through styles...BOOK OF MAPS are tight as hell and to be able to shift and metamorphose like they do they have to be completely attuned or the whole thing would just fall apart in a clamour of bad noise."
NO FRONT TEETH
"Vocalist and bassist Christopher Bauman treads closer to hardcore punk delivery, screaming lines over manic accompaniment. It’s this divergence of styles that deems II an intriguing release."
WONKAVISION
"It reminds me of many of the more angular and loose post-hardcore bands from the mid-90's...One of the constant things about II is the perfect balance it maintains between loose, haphazard parts and songs that are obviously deliberate and carefully constructed."
THE NEW SCHEME 16
The New Scheme #20 is out now, featuring a Majority Rule retrospective, City of Ships, My Heart To Joy, Disappearer, Beware of Safety, Quieting Syrup, and more. You can click on the cover to download the new issue.
You can also view the new issue instantly at www.issuu.com
Past issues, and the digital mixtape are available at the just-relaunched www.thenewscheme.com
![[Kyle]](http://c2.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/98/s_6902f39e5b11422db94ba2df6a6aab09.jpg)
