And Photos From My One Woman Show: If Lucy Had A Whip: Tales Of An American Dominatrix.
Website
widowcentauri.wordpress.com/
Influences
Members
TV Shows
Last Comic Standing, Sexy Ladies of Comedy on Comedy Central, Distraction on Comedy Central, Penn and Teller -- Bullshit on Showtime, Family Business on Showtime, Sexetera on Playboy TV,
Weird TV, Hip Fresh and Blunt, Strange Public Access Shows, and The News!
Films
Widow Centauri is featured in Bald a low budget feature sag experimental / indie! Watch for her and then send mocking comments!
I write! Please read my blog -- that way I don't feel like I live such a self indulgent existence!
Music
Psychic ipod!
Movies
I have a short attention span and a busy schedule. I will star in your movie but I doubt I can commit to watching it!
Television
I have been on Comedy Central, Playboy TV, Showtime, and Public Access!
Books
I have completed the first draft of my first book! Now I can do it all over again, and again, and again! Are you a literary agent? Do you have one who likes to give nice big advances? Drop me a line!
About me: I am Widow Centauri. I live in Hollywood, practice Bikram yoga, perform stand up comedy, write brilliant and hysterical autobiographical prose, and instruct sexuality workshops. I have appeared on a number of national television programs, in international magazines, and unexpectedly for dinner. I am very down to earth, honest, and occasionally easy to work with. I have been trained in improvisation at The Second City and in Creative Writing at Antioch University.
I love rubber clothing and corsets – I would love to find a fetishist who wants to keep me clad in such. Public golden showers rock my world – I like public play in general but pissing on a boy in a public place is heavenly! Role Play and Humiliation are specialties of mine. Heavy corporal, cross dressing, body worship, shopping, photo shoots, tease and denial, kinky adventures and extended sessions are all things I enjoy. I have a large collection of electrical toys, fetish wear, shoes, boots, stockings, and vintage lingerie. I also have a seven-foot tall transsexual.
I have a 6’5” sleeping cage for overnight slaves.
If you are kinky and share my passion for Bikram we will have an awesome time. I have been practicing for four years and I am very good at it. I’m a front row rock star yogini. Books – I read them, I write them. Traveling on private jets. I do not enjoy commercial travel – who does? I will suck it up and travel first class to exotic places but please not beaches – My ivory skin prefers gray rainy places. Entertainment: I enjoy watching documentary films and The League Of Gentlemen. I am a performer – I wrote and star in a one-woman show about my life as a professional dominatrix. I would like to take it to Edinburgh – if you can make this happen for me tell me so in your message. I will respond and move things forward quickly, so don’t BS me.
I will be doing a nationwide tour in May and June. I am looking for bookings in Boston, Chicago, Omaha, Denver / Boulder, Salt Lake City, and Reno. If you own or book a theater, night club, church group, kinky organization, cruise ship, or town hall contact me to book If Lucy Had A Whip: Tales of An American Dominatrix! So that’s me in a nutshell. Who are you?
Yoga – I practice Bikram yoga daily. If you are kinky and share my passion for Bikram we will have an awesome time. I have been practicing for four years and I am very good at it. I’m a front row rock star yogini. Books – I read them, I write them. Traveling on private jets. I do not enjoy commercial travel – who does? I will suck it up and travel first class to exotic places but please not beaches – My ivory skin prefers gray rainy places. Entertainment: I enjoy watching documentary films and The League Of Gentlemen. I am a performer – I wrote and star in a one-woman show about my life as a professional dominatrix. I would like to take it to Edinburgh – if you can make this happen for me tell me so in your message. I will respond and move things forward quickly, so don’t BS me.
I will be doing a nationwide tour in May and June. I am looking for bookings in Boston, Chicago, Omaha, Denver / Boulder, Salt Lake City, and Reno. If you own or book a theater, night club, church group, kinky organization, cruise ship, or town hall contact me to book If Lucy Had A Whip: Tales of An American Dominatrix! So that’s me in a nutshell. Who are you?
Who I'd like to meet: I am interested in meeting my fans. It is important for you to know that my life is very busy at the moment. If we have never met please refrain from sending me an email asking if you can “get to know me.” I do not have enough time to respond to mail like this. Here are some ways that you can get to know me:
1) Come to my shows, buy me and my girlfriend drinks, and amuse me with your fetish fashion and acumen!
2) Become a long term client / slave (realize that I charge quite a bit for this).
3) Take me Shopping! I’m ripe for a wealthy boyfriend. The first man who takes me shopping, denies me nothing, makes no painful agonizing grunts, groans, or screams when it is time to pay will be invited back.
I love latex clothing. If you want to get to know me, date me, become my main squeeze, start by taking me shopping. I am an expensive woman, please realize this before you ask me to shop.
That said I hope that you can respect the fact that I just don’t have enough time in my life to “get to know you.” I am working on some pretty big projects right now. Don’t be offended. I can be friendly but the internet is not the place for it. I don’t have time to chat, please don’t ask.
If you have a question about sex, sexuality, or gender feel free to ask. I will answer questions as I have time in my blog www.widowcentauri.wordpress.com.
I will be traveling a lot this year. I am actively booking my new show If Lucy Had A Whip: Tales of an American Dominatrix. It runs approximately one hour. If you have a group, organization, college campus, theater, night club, cruise ship, church group, convention, or private party book my show for it! Email freaksofcomedy@gmail.com for booking details.
I hope I see you at the show!
Hello!! Thanks for the add. I'm glad to be your friend. I hope your success all the world. Have a wonderful weekend!! Support message from Tokyo. Puchi Bruce.
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.
Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit.
So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down... And saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... A vibrator!Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.She went completely ballistic.
'You impotent pig ,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me all of these years?You better explain yourself!'
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:'I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids.
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