Basically I am the raddest and best superhero ever. Here are my stats/powers:
Super strong, super durable, super hott, and I can totally jump hella high. Also I have met almost the whole cast of the old sitcom Wings, and I can tell the difference between an apple and a potato when I get a stuffy nose (most people cannot).
Here is An Interesting Anecdote:
This one time? I took on a bunch of vampires in an Olive Garden, right? So I threw this giant barrel at them like the hostess uses as a podium. And it was full of champagne bottles, and oh holy crap but those corks went all over the place and they totally impaled all of the vampires like stakes because I Kid You Not corks are apparently made of some kind of wood. Anyway those vampires went straight to prison... DEAD person prison. IN HELL. Ha!
