Erik Iwersen: Guitar Alpha, Metalworker & brain surgeon --- Kevin Scheuring: Guitar Omega, Electrician & Painter of Magic Windows --- Mike Grosso: Bassery, Plumbing & Commander of the Undead --- Dylan "Sticks" Hicks: Drums, Deep-Sea Diver and Director of Asinine Cinema.
Influences
Guided By Voices, Don Caballero, Godspeed, Pixies, Radiohead, Sonic Youth.
Wonka is a band I was in that no longer exists. We broke up due to unsafe chemical reactions in our navels. Boy, were we excited to know that this page would stay up, so people like you can pretend to look at it.
Wonka was an instrumental band from Chicago with the ability to change shape when touched by people or animals with mental disorders.
Why should you listen to Wonka?
We found that our music was appreciated by people who were unable to sit still.... and by people devoid of genitals, which explains why someone as intolerable as you showed up and ate all the Cranium Corn. We put that out for everybody to share, but obviously you never learned that lesson on Sesame Street. You're just a disfigured siamese twin monster with two heads that sound out words together, and you still manage to fuck that up most of the time.
When we wrote songs, we jumped up and down, traveled through space sideways and ate the leftover confetti from alien celebrations. We also know that you lick lampposts covered in cow confetti. That's fucking sick, man. That lamppost doesn't know where your tongue has been.
At our live shows, we tended to make people's brains explode. Make sure you don't let Klyde eat the leftover remnants of your brain, since he'd probably transform into a dildabeast like you if he did, and that's just not cool. Klyde never did anything to you.... and if he did it would be justified, because you molested a polar bear with windshield washer fluid and a cell phone battery.... Asshole. No wonder nobody likes you.
CNET made us an Editor's Pick and said these fine words about us:
"Meditative, instrumental indie rock blows in from the Windy City. Chicago quartet Wonka mines the same territory traveled by Tristeza, Godspeed You! Black Emperor, and other dream dates. It's a middle path that surveys jazz, drone, and rock."
By the way.... fuck you. Everything you do is wrong and you know it.
Sincerely,
- Melvin Spank
This will be our first reviewed show, so we're pulling out all the stops! Plus the other bands we're playing with are awesome! It will be very strange, it will be very anti-hork-mangler-esque and it will also very prevent genital gangrene...
wow you aint even gunna believe this...i tried this deal to get a REAL bag and wallet from Coach 100% FREE and it truly came!! since i KNOW its for real now, i'm gunna act real fast and grab a few more to give to people as goodie..you really ought to go swipe a few as well LMFAO! ain't this one that came awesome?
Assemble at this coordinate of reality and gonnoreah will never clutch your lungs! Regrets will vanish like curried tofu in a horde of vegans! Strange mammalian corrdiors will burst from the yeast-webbed portals of our back pupils and breathe through our lips! Whiskers will wither under the tyranny of pubic-lice! Well...maybe not that last one.
Hey, you added Salient Records as a friend, thanks alot - we invite you to visit our myspace. take around a look and a listen, and let us know what you think. Thanks!
THE MOTHERSHIP HAS LANDED Yea!
Pre-Order "Glitch" from The Auxiliary Jungle today!!! Full length . . . Out May 10th!!!..
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*Katie*
Mar 30 2007 4:41 AM
Ever wanted to see who views your profile?
Check It
..Hosted By:.. CHI-SKY PRODUCTIONS INC. ..Contact:.. Paul Morrelli ..When:.. Wednesday Mar 28, 2007 8:30 PM ..Where:.. Club Inclusive 6319 W. Roosevelt Road Berwyn, IL 60402 United States Description:.. THE REGGAE RUNDOWN..... Good vibes and good music at one of the West Suburbs hottest new venues!
