Eons ago, beneath the festering shadow of Mount Diablo, the city of Richmond erupted from the rich loam of ancient volcanoes. The virgin land was roamed by pigs the size of rhinos, and rhinos the size of pigs. No shit. Eventually humankind emerged from the earth’s primordial sludge and in nineteen hundred and five the untamed land was formally labeled “Richmond”.
Peaceful years passed until eventually the peanuts of destiny began to be cracked from their historic shells by the angry hands of war. A “nice place to visit” turned into a smoke-belching, arm-severing behemoth of industry as the free world entered the second Great War. Women (quickly deemed unfit to get shot in the face for their country) were enlisted to construct floating machines of combat—great clunking battleships that, in most cases, would play a part in shooting the faces of those not yet shot. However, these mechanical monsters, like so many soldiers, also came to an untimely end. The hulking ruins of these metal giants were laid to rest in desolate ship graveyards tucked along the Richmond shoreline, and were subsequently set upon by a platoon of remorseless females that demolished everything in their path — the Richmond Wrecking Belles. With manicured fists of fury and cankles from hell, the crew had a singular goal: break what “Rosie” built. To speed up the nautical annihilation, the Wrecking Belles traversed the colossal steel corpses and fog-filled yards on roller-skates, each pair forged from the deadliest of cannons and the strongest of hulls. It’s also rumored that each member wore an angry octopus as a necklace, but that is unsubstantiated.
The Wrecking Belles continued the frenzied dismemberment until the surrender of evil in 1945 when suddenly there wasn’t much left to savagely dismantle. The Korean, Cold, Vietnam, cola and culture wars ensued, but none offered the Wrecking Belles the satisfaction of yesteryear. Then at the turn of the century, like a dress rehearsal for Armageddon, an ancient sport reemerged from the depths of hell: Roller Derby.
The great-wheeled battle proved to be a perfect match for the Belles. Calling upon their deft skating skills, the fierce game satiated the women’s need for speed and quenched their thirst for destruction. No matter their opponents’ size, strength, or former glory, the Wrecking Belles take to the track like perfectly coiffed hyenas, laying waste to any derby momma who dares to meet them on the line.
THE RULES OF ROLLER DERBY
You can find the official WFTDA rules at the WFTDA site here: WFTDA Rules
The short and sweet version of roller derby's rules:
There are always going to be two teams on the track at once, no more and no less.
Each team can have no more than five skaters on the track at one time.
Each team is made up of one pivot, three blockers, and one jammer.
The pivot is designated by a striped helmet cover, while the jammer is designated by a helmet cover with a large star on both sides. Blockers do not wear helmet covers.
Positions:
Pivot - Skates in the very front of the pack, controls pack speed and serves as a last line of defense against the opposing jammer. Can become jammer IF jammer passes the helmet cover to her.
Blocker - One of three blockers on her team, works together with other blockers and her pivot to help her jammer through the pack while stopping the opposing jammer. This includes moving opposing blockers out of the way, assisting her jammer, and blocking the opposing jammer.
Jammer - Point scoring player. Starts 20 feet behind the rear of the pack at a dead start. She has to skate through the entire pack one time and lap the pack before she can begin to score points. She receives one point for each skater on the opposite team that she passes legally. Can strategically pass her helmet cover to her pivot if she gets stuck in the pack..
A bout consists of three 20-minute periods. Each period is composed of an unlimited number of jams which can last up to 2 minutes. After each jam, the teams have 20 seconds to line up for the next jam. If a skater is not on the track when the whistle is blown, her team must skate short.
One long whistle blast signals the beginning of a jam and for the pack to start skating.
Two short whistle blasts are blown to signal the jammer start.
Four whistle blasts signal the end of the jam, which can happen because the two minutes elapsed or because the lead jammer called off the jam.
The lead jammer is the first jammer to get through the pack without passing any opposing blocker while out of bounds or committing a penalty on any opposing blocker while passing them. The lead jammer can call off the jam anytime she wants after lead jammer status has been earned.
Illegal maneuvers to watch for:
• Grabbing or use of hands
• Blocking with forearms
• Tripping, kicking, or blocking with feet/legs
• Pushing, shoving, punching or holding
• Swinging elbows
• Blocking with the head
• Blocking a jammer while twenty feet ahead or behind the pack
• Hitting from behind
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(Courtesy of Tucson Roller Derby)
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