He reminds me of sloe gin. The way old black men hold their faces in the sun, and wear hats just this side of tipped too much. He reminds me of young girls and boys who watch over them, not knowing what they are watching for. He reminds me of snowflakes, captured innocence burst on the tongues of children. Reminds me of god watching from behind clouds, and the moment before someone breaks a heart –
When all that love is just waiting there, unerring and perfect because it will never falter
He reminds me of death
The slow rot and quick release, the climax of it all. He reminds me of children and birth, the rainbow affliction and the souls salutation when morning climbs blue skies and finally releases her glory on an unsuspecting night.
He reminds me of screaming. Of drunken brawls and too little sleep. The back of a throat raw with cigarette smoke and manipulation, eyes wide open and walking into it
He reminds me of spiders
Of rosemary smelling bathwater and sweet vermouth on ice. Of winter’s wrath and the promise springtime breaks the first few weeks of flaky, fluttery February
But mostly?
He reminds me of me
Movies
I don’t remember the last time I had a bad night or a good McDonald’s Cheesebuger. The song She Talks to Angels reminds of me of me, 20 and nowhere left to run. The song The Girl with the Weight of the World in her Hands reminds me of the lost years – 16 through 20 when I didn’t even realize running was an option. Now I listen to happier music. System of a down, Disturbed, and I still love the Indigo girls. Black Crowes is one of the best. There is nothing better than the wail of Jimi on a supersonic guitar, or peering into your own eyes, mind a little far gone, rational world held at bay for a moment or two, maybe an hour. If I had to change one thing about my life I wouldn’t be so serious – I would be a blonde pin up girl who wanders around watching other people trip over themselves trying to buy her things. So its one thing, and it’s everything – and really I wouldn’t change anything. Because I like me serious, even when that translates to seriously obnoxious and seriously over thinking everything. I still wear pigtails and cheap sunglasses, drink $1.99 drafts and think the best way to score is to pick up my husband on a Saturday night.
There is no counter reality without first accepting some sort of story for the world. I belong to myself. I am the only one who pulls the shades over my eyes, willing myself to believe the semi truths of an alien race. That would be anyone outside of me. That’s a lot of people.
z
Television
Books
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
To show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
To show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, They're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Who I'd like to meet: I walk through the door – sliding glass, the back door to the siding covered apartment buildings, this little ghetto where we live. Walk through and glance down, somehow –
Almost tripping as I settle my bag on the floor, the chicken on the table. See your bag on the beanbag. Feel your presence – and somehow miss you
Sitting
Still there, watching me
So that when I raise my eyes, you are all I see
And stumbling, move to you
It’s like a dream, this other worldly sensation. The moments pressing together – how much time before I leave again, pick up the bag, work tomorrow – how much time
To devour you . . . and we are toe to toe, fall into you
As you drown in mine eyes
Settling me into the chair,
Into the couch, lying behind me
Your hands racing my body, awakening my skin – the moment to moment promises you whisper with kisses,
The flats of hands that only caress
I have missed you so
Butter light warms the room and we,
Entangled
Offer ourselves to the gods of light
Outside snow falls
Silent paths foraged in silver
And we keep ourselves here, expose myself to you
All the vulnerabilities, all the cracks in me
Belonging to you
Here in this stillness
You mute the television as you hold me, thrust inside of me –
The better to hear me
Feel me
I am of you
And in this moment there is only
Us
Walking through another door
Only we
How holy we become
In this silent, starry night
Just stopping in to say hi. I had to laugh when you guys were like, "Don't come down here." I imagine you guys didn't want to wait another few hours in that g*d forsaken place. Lol I suppose it wasn't the shopping meca that you guys envisioned. Lol
that was the most mind blowing amazing sweet tender KICK ASS short short story i have ever read. and by far the best comment. i have neglected you far tooooo long. please know it is not a reflection of my affection for you
Figured seeing as it took me ten years to get in contact with you. I'm glad things are goin great for you kat :) lol still remember GW in oxford street, and your sister lol.
Hey Girl, We are doing Cirque Du Soleil at 5 this Sun. can you guys go? I know you are doing a lot on the weekends, how was visiting Evan last weekend?
Hey Girl, The Family is GOOD! We are having the time of our lifes, it is going to suck when they have to go home on July 19th, They asked when they will get to see you and Bruce, so when is a good time for your guys? and did you still want to do something all together or did you just want to meet up? Let me know, Love ya'll... Mike
