hahaha I loved your picture comment... I definitely don't eat that crap, I shoot at it... I read somewhere that one can of spam/treet/whatever lengthwise is an accurate simulation of shooting through 6" of flesh... In other words, it's ghetto ballistics gel, lol
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I play in a band, we're the best in the land We're big in both Chelsea and France I play one mean guitar and then score at the bar There's a line of chicks waiting for their chance So come on now honey, I'll make you feel pretty These other gals mean nothing to me Let's finish these drinks and be gone for the night 'Cause I'm more than a handful, you'll see
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown in the trousers, she kissed me And I only bought her one round
I can bench press a car, I'm an ex football star with degrees from both Harvard and Yale Girls just can't keep up, I'm a real love machine I've had far better sex while in jail I've designed the Sears Tower, I make two grand an hour I cook the world's best duck flambe I'll take the pick of the litter, girls jockey for me I don't need these lines to get laid
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown in the trousers, she kissed me And I only bought her one round
I'm a man of the night, a real ladies delight See my figure was chiseled from stone One more for the gal then I'll escort her home Come last call, I'm never alone I've a house on the hill with a red water bed That puts Hugh Heffnor's mansion to shame With girls by the pool and Italian sports cars I'm just here in this dump for the game
So kiss me, I'm shitfaced I'm soaked, I'm soiled and brown in the trousers, she kissed me And I only bought her one round
Ahh, fuck it. Who am I shitting?
I'm a pitiful sight, and I ain't all that bright I'm definitely not chiseled from stone I'm a cheat and a liar, no woman's desire I'll probably die cold and alone
But just give me a chance, 'cause deep down inside I swear I got a big heart of gold I'm a monogamous man, no more one night stands Come on, honey, let me take you
it's one of those places but not that extreme. we need blankets because with the ac it gets fucking cold as hell, michigan at night. it's funny though cause the blankets they gave us to use have giant flowers on them.
HARRISON: Basically you spend your time salvaging derelict spaceships, playing poker, and eating curries. LISTER: Well we don't do that much salvaging. HARRISON: But you do sound like you eat a lot of curries. KRYTEN: Well, we don't eat curry every night if that's what you think. In fact I remember quite clearly last June: Mr. Lister had a pizza. You remember? (LISTER nods in agreement.) LISTER: Yeah. KRYTEN: And you didn't like it. But then I poured curry sauce all over it and he just yummed it up! HARRISON: And the all-night poker sessions -- is it always strip poker? LISTER: It depends on how drunk we are. CAT: Or how much curry he's had. HARRISON: So, and this probably sounds like a stupid question, you don't really have much interest in horse riding or ballet. LISTER: F-fine by us -- as long as we can have a curry afterwards, we're cool.
Why do women always leave me for total smegheads? Why do they dump me for men who wear turtleneck sweaters and smoke a pipe? I mean, natural yoghurt eaters! Reliable, sensible, dependable, and lots of other words that end in "-ible." He's obsessed with house-prices, and spends half his life in antique fairs looking for bargains and drinking wine. It's never beer, is it, it's always wine! "What do you want on your cornflakes, darling?" "Oh, I'll have some wine, please!" Smeg!
