About me:
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
-I like hats, scarves, sunglasses, and hookah bars.
-I sustain life with soup, wine, and apple juice.
-I'm cruel and crude and insensitive to emotions.
-I once poked a fetus, and financially contributed to the death of another.
-I like to ride down the highway in the rain, at night, with the windows down..
-Humanity comes in many colors, and I even like the purple ones.
-My eyes are the color of rainclouds, and I hate boys who wear make-up.
-My bladder is the size of an acorn, my nickname is Plank, I'm twitchy, and I'm not "down" with your existence.
-I sleep in a serpentine cocoon of golden raindrops.
-Word.
-I'd like to see dolphins swimming in a US post office, my great-grandpa chillin' in Germany, the Anne Frank/Eva Braun porn museum, a wax cast of Big Foot's Big Toe, a pagoda without a woman, and Office Max Presents: The Petting Zoo.
Who I'd like to meet:
The Real Danzig, David Tennant, Pauley Perrette, Glenn Anzalone, Gregory House, Lane Staley reincarnate, Brian Warner, John Montagu, Queen Frostine, the animated version of Mr. Garcia, and the claymation version of Mr. Bloomer
Comments
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You off this weekend?
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