Hermes the Great White Supremecist- attempts to play drums with fins
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Tiger Man Kyle- bass, glass flute and jumping, not so bad with the didjeredoo
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Cow Ray- fighting, humping, preaching, motivational speaker, captain of Shamu Van {lead singer}
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Unicorn Mitch Bitch- sold his soul to a voodoo chief in the jungle to play keyboard faster than a cheetah can run.
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Adolescent Ape- most supreme todally radical primate, escaped from Circus Maximus, shreds on the strings and a hit with the babes.
Influences
The jungle book, dumbo, babe, animal farm, Junior Senior, bruce springstein, TLC, gwar, Jungle to jungle, encino man, Zooboomafoob, curious george, Rumble in the Jungle, Lion King, Sea World, The kids bop infomercials, the world renoun morman choir, santa ana zoo, Tupac, Fastball NwA
Sounds Like
...when you pull your cock out of a small panda's pooper
If we can KILL animals, and EAT animals,
then why can't we FUCK animals?
This is the premise behind Zoophilia.
Zoophilia is band of animals for animals, the idea was concieved by Tiger Man Kyle late one night in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. Zoophilia members were quickly recruited to join forces with only 2 animal uniforms. We had a mid afternoon practice in the garage of kevin the shark herpes. almost immediately a song was born, based on actual eye witness acounts, the song had to do with going to a zoo and fucking the animals and the endangered ones too. One line that we still remember is "ran away, to a tree, fucked a sloth now shes in love with me" but the rest was probably used to roll blunts.
So armed with our one song we began to play parties. the first one was at unicorn mitch's house and the set was recorded. When we played it back the next sober morning it resembled our only song but it then slowly turned into Paranoid for a few minutes along with the screams of our singer (at the time) who we met that night and never said he could sing for us but he was just too sweet. after that a series of parties passed where we would get kicked out within the first song for rude behavior like utter sucking and punching kids out. If the party we were going to play was a sober party with the parents there we would show up pooring beers on their dogs in tradition of animal love. we finally all have our own animal costumes and we for once can play songs that are audible. we continue to suprise young high school parties and piss the fuck out of all humans within a mile radius. To this day zoophilia hasnt been able to finish a complete set without being physically forced to leave. even though 80 percent of people who see us absolutely hate us they dont deserve to enjoy our musical movement. and the 20 percent of people who become diciples of zoophila will be rewarded by becoming the fore fathers of a new animal kingdom where species can love another species.
If you have ever recieved the honor of expierencing The Zoophilia fantasma and either hate us more than lyndsie lohan hates eating, or LOVED us more than chris farley loved his coke and heroin then you belong here.
"I'll tell you why I wanted to become a Zoophiliac. BECAUSE im the one who concieved Zoophilia, All the members and myself gave birth to Zoophilia. Its the greatest Religious group or tribe on earth. everyone is equal, we cant put black people in cages and on leashes but we can capture all animals for either our entertainment behind bars or keep them in our house as prisoners? we cant eat or kill a fellow human but we can to mother natures other children, the animals? what did they EVER do to the human race to deserve that treatment. in a modern world where trusted religous leaders are raping their young, and a pop icon sleeps in bed with little boys and gets AWAY WITH IT, we cant even have consensual sex with an animal. WHERES THE LOGIC!?!?!? ZOOPHILIA IS HERE TO STAY!"
-Tiger Man
wowzer you're not going to believe this...i did this offer to receive a REAL name-brand purse through Coach totally FREE & it surprisingly came in the mail!! since i KNOW its no joke now, i'm gunna act quick and snag some more to send out as a present..you should go snag a few as well LMAO! ain't the one i received dope?
avrom asked me Why do they tell you its not about size.You and i know that is pure bull,I had an experience like this my self.Im going to tell you something that i was asked not to leak out but my so called friend hasent called me for sometime now since he's been busy.Ok he went from having a small yang to a monster in no time at all.he has put on three and a half inches in a short time ,an get this it's still getting bigger.He has been secretly taking these tabs from SHOMBY.COM copy and paste the address into your browser.I found out when I was at his flat, three saturdays ago, we were getting ready to go to the music shop, so while he was in the can, I went in his room, looked under his bed and found a bag with tabs in it, there was like eight full packs and four empty ones, all ordered from SHOMBY.COM I thought it was funny at first but then when he came out and saw me looking at them, he lost it and told me to never let his little secret out,especially chicks that he has been dating for the past while, now that I think of it, he has been rather busy with all the honeys in the zone, when just a while back he was lost when it came to females.I diden't believe him until he layed it all on the table, I did see his stick and yes, it is huge,really huge, the thickest and longest one I ever seen.
I know this sounds really shallow, but I am considering ordering eight packs from the website at SHOMBY.COM for yours trully.. he does not have a web page, so he is not gonna see this. They guarentee that the jells will work on any man, or they give you your money back,Im living proof that they do work on any guy, see for your self.SHOMBY.COM
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