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'Ch-eye-shu-gah'

Legend has it that CHYShUGA have been writing epic rock n’ roll hits since their inception in early 2004, when four young men joined ranks to begin the uphill battle for super-stardom.

Singer Ryan Gartner commanded vocal musings over an array of poly-rhythms provided by drummer Tyler Larsen, while guitarist Corey Mullin utilized his sick tones to shred over bassist Scott Whalen’s jump-kicks. The quartet was unstoppable.

Through hundreds of man-hours practicing stage moves and guitar harmonies, the band released their first self-titled EP that year, which amazingly sold well under a million copies.

Over the next few years the band did what most young bands do, playing every party, every club and every shit hole they could book themselves into. Being suckers for punishment, they did this continually for years, slowly harnessing fans from across the land.

In 2007, CHYShUGA decided that three was a crowd, but four was not enough. The band was joined by guitarist Shilo Doetzel, and soon thereafter they released a stunning 10 copies of “CHYShUGA presents: 23 minutes of CHYShUGA”. Those who were lucky enough to hear it experienced a 4 song EP that fell just shy of healing the world.

But the elation wouldn’t last. Frustrated with their inability to make the world a better place, Ryan, Corey and Tyler killed and buried guitarist Shilo Doetzel as well as bassist Scotty Boy Whalen, who was later dug up by members of the 90’s Canadian super group Econoline Crush.

Surviving members of CHYShUGA then teamed up with Zuckerbaby bassist extraordinaire, Ed “God of Thunder” Tiegs, and made a hasty retreat to their top secret rehearsal studio to write new hits.

Things were looking up for the boys in August of 2008. The band had assembled a respectable repertoire of hit music, and brought the collection down to a creepy little mountain town in northern California called Weed. It was there where the boys teamed up with Tool and System of a Down producer Sylvia Massy and recorded “Dirtbag Limo”, the bands first full length record, which consisted of 10 1 Billboard smash hits. More or less.

But chaos would soon plague the band. During the final mixing of the record, an investor who had helped the band financially decided that he wanted exclusive rights to the master recordings. The boys would have none of it, so the investor had the master recordings secretly sent to him. What he didn’t realize was that computers can make copies of things. The band went on with rock n’ roll life and had the record mastered, pressed and packaged.

Dirtbag Limo is set for release this October. Experts say that crowds of millions will likely fill the streets in celebration of this greatly anticipated event.

Though WORLD DOMINATION is inevitable for CHYShUGA, they would like to make it clear they have no direct relation to the Anti-Christ, though at one time he did audition for a role as second guitarist. Sadly, he was turned down due to the lack of commitment and a reliable vehicle...