Cristela Alonzo on MySpace Comedy - Comic Clips, Funny Videos & Jokes

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Cristela Alonzo
Stand-Up / As Seen on TV / Comedic Writers

		Como esta frijole=How ya bean? Female 30 years old North Hollywood United States Last Login: 7/12/2009
Mood: artistic
View My: Pics \| Videos \| Playlists

Contacting Cristela Alonzo

MySpace URL:

www.myspace.com/cristela_alonzo

Cristela Alonzo's Comedian Bio

Bio	..
Website	cristelaalonzo.com
Influences	These are comedians I genuinely respect. Though my style might not be like theirs, I am influenced in the way that they have distinct voices, which is something I strive to have: Chris Rock Jim Gaffigan Dave Attell Steven Wright Mitch Hedberg Laura Kightlinger Steve Martin Dave Chappelle Ellen Degeneres Freddie Prinze
Members
TV Shows	These are places I’ve made appearances on:

Cristela Alonzo's Interests

General	I'm really into my Wii right now, especially golf. I think it's because I didn't know a thing about golf and I'm really good at the game. Now I want to take golf lessons. Of course that happened when I got into Guitar Hero too; I wanted to take guitar lessons. That also happened with Super Mario Brothers. I wanted to become a plumber. I'm also really into music. I listen to an average of about 5-6 hours a day and anything goes. I just put my ipod on shuffle. Oh and I'm also into ipods. I collect them...every single time there's a new mode out, I get it. I'm REALLY into Mac products...apple rocks and I mean the fruit. By the way, these are festivals I've been in.
Movies	I love Hot Fuzz, if you haven't seen it. You should.
Television
Books
Heroes	My mom, who I think about everyday.

Cristela Alonzo's Details

Status:	In a Relationship
Here for:	Networking, Friends
Hometown:	San Juan, TX
Body type:	5' 6"
Religion:	Catholic
Zodiac Sign:	Capricorn
Smoke / Drink:	No / Yes
Children:	Undecided

Cristela Alonzo's Clips

[View All Clips]

Clips: 4

Total Plays: 4905

Plays Today: 0

MTV Tres "News Report": Cristela on Cinco de Mayo

Run Time: 189

Plays: 144
Comments: 4

Cristela Alonzo's first time on stage doing stand up

Run Time: 374

Plays: 838
Comments: 3

Cristela Alonzo at the Ice House-Part 2

Run Time: 103

Plays: 762
Comments: 2

Cristela Alonzo on Live At Gotham

Run Time: 410

Plays: 3161
Comments: 20

Upcoming Gigs

Jul 16 2009

8:00P

Comedy Central’s Aces of Comedy-Morongo Casino

Jul 30 2009

8:00P

Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase

Ann Arbor MI

Jul 31 2009

8:00P

Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase

Ann Arbor MI

Jul 31 2009

10:30P

Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase

Ann Arbor MI

Aug 1 2009

7:00P

Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase

Ann Arbor CA

Aug 1 2009

10:00P

Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase

Ann Arbor MI

Aug 6 2009

8:00P

Ventura Harbor Comedy Club

Ventura CA

Aug 13 2009

7:00P

Addison IMPROV-HEADLINING

Addison TX

Aug 14 2009

8:00P

Addison IMPROV with David Alan Grier

Addison TX

Aug 14 2009

10:30P

Addison IMPROV with David Alan Grier

Addison TX

Aug 15 2009

6:30P

Addison IMPROV with David Alan Grier

Addison TX

Aug 15 2009

9:00P

Addison IMPROV with David Alan Grier

Addison TX

Aug 15 2009

11:30P

Addison IMPROV with David Alan Grier

Addison TX

Aug 16 2009

7:30P

Addison IMPROV with David Alan Grier

Addison TX

Sep 2 2009

8:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

San Francisco CA

Sep 3 2009

8:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

San Francisco CA

Sep 4 2009

8:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

San Francisco CA

Sep 4 2009

10:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

San Francisco CA

Sep 5 2009

8:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

San Francisco CA

Sep 5 2009

10:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

San Francisco CA

Sep 15 2009

8:00P

CHCI "Reyes of Comedy"

Washington DC

Cristela Alonzo's Latest Blog Entry [Subscribe to this Blog]

I got booed on behalf of Carlos Mencia..but then something good happened... (view more)

I feel like I've been sick for a month. Thank God I have my sneakers to keep me company. (view more)

I'm 30 now, so by Hollywood standards, I'm dead. (view more)

The Funniest Thanksgiving Story That Totally Happened To Me.... (view more)

To the Asian woman in bootcamp that I call "Egg Drop Soup"... (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

Cristela Alonzo's Blurbs

About me:

Who I'd like to meet:
Ben Folds, Jeremy Piven, since they are my celeb crushes, which is weird because they're very different. I would also love to meet anyone that has ever shown an interest in being on the World Series of Pop Culture and The Singing Bee.

Also, anyone that loves the 80's breakdance movie drama, Fast Forward. And those who would take a physical challenge just to make a mess (Double Dare reference).

Cristela Alonzo's Calendar

( View All )

Sep 2 2009

8:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

@ San Francisco

Sep 3 2009

8:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

@ San Francisco

Sep 4 2009

8:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

@ San Francisco

Sep 4 2009

10:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

@ San Francisco

Sep 5 2009

8:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

@ San Francisco

Sep 5 2009

10:00P

Punchline with Dwayne Perkins

@ San Francisco

iTwitter

Cristela Alonzo's Friend Space (Top 9)

Cristela Alonzo has 7688 friends.

Jason Collings

Steve

stephanie pop |ONA|

julissa™

Carl

>>>>>Gamer<<<<<;

ELOY

Byronicon

Heather

View All of Cristela Alonzo's Friends

Cristela Alonzo's Friends Comments

Displaying 25 of 4085 comments ( View All | Add Comment )

American Navajo	Jul 11 2009 12:03 AM sWEETY!!!!!!!!! LOVED YOUR LAST SET!!!! AMAZING!!!
Banke BAAD Boy Boxing	Jul 10 2009 9:26 PM Check out my profile And Let me know Do you like me YES or NO http://www.wholikesu.net/photos/7070452.html?b=4&w=46
the lost colors (NEW SONG!)	Jul 9 2009 6:05 PM Thanks for being our friend! :) Just wanted to let you know that we'll have a new song up this weekend!
BABY- ROCK	Jul 9 2009 7:37 AM ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU FOR MAKING BABY-ROCK THE HOTTEST CLUB AROUND, OVER A THOUSAND PEOPLE JOINED US FRIDAY AT SEVILLA NIGHTCLUB... WE WILL CONTINUE WITH THE SUCCESS NEXT FRIDAY... AND TO THOSE THAT HAVE NOT MADE IT TO BABY-ROCK YET, COME AND CHECK OUT WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING!!! FOR GUEST LIST CALL ME @ 714-878-7625
Juan.	Jul 8 2009 4:17 PM You were right. Paper Toss is like crack, I have been play non stop. I love the fact that you can play and still listen to your music. What's your top score??
Christian	Jul 8 2009 11:03 AM Check out my profile And Let me know Do you like me YES or NO http://www.wholikesu.net/photos/402571.html?b=4&w=46
ღ* ÄnðRéÃ *ღ™	Jul 8 2009 5:16 AM I can't beat the hard level on Paper toss either...lol! I'd like to break that damn fan on the desk, that is obstructing me from accomplishing that...lol! :P Have you downloaded Slacker yet? Free Satellite radio...woo hoo!!
ImRelReD	Jul 8 2009 4:36 AM Check out my profile And Let me know Do you like me YES or NO http://www.doulike.us/photos/5240924.html?b=4&w=46
CLICK!MESSAGE ME.	Jul 7 2009 2:37 AM NO M.J TICKETS FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!JUST FOR THAT IM BUYING THEM OFF EBAY!
~Tony P*~	Jul 7 2009 1:18 AM Hola Ruca!!!
JNeu artist/producer	Jul 6 2009 8:11 AM new song so smooth check it out
In Pursuit....	Jul 5 2009 8:46 AM Check out my profile And Let me know Do you like me YES or NO http://www.doulike.us/photos/3159086.html?b=4&w=46
Joe	Jul 4 2009 7:28 PM Check out my profile And Let me know Do you like me YES or NO http://www.wholikesu.net/photos/2107867.html?b=4&w=46
ReFF	Jul 4 2009 2:26 PM HAPPY 4th OF JULY 2009 ReFF tHiS iS aS sMoOtH aS iT gEt’S
EL CHUCO	Jul 4 2009 8:27 AM Check out my profile And Let me know Do you like me YES or NO http://www.wholikesu.net/photos/5726960.html?b=4&w=46
Christian	Jul 4 2009 1:03 AM HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY
CLICK!MESSAGE ME.	Jul 3 2009 6:44 PM hey whats up?ı just got throw sıghıng up for my free mıchael jackson tıckets.ı hope ı get pıcked.ıt was hard gettıng ın because the system crashed because to many people are tryıng to get there tıckıts.ı want mıne bad!no pune ıntended.there 17.000 tıckets and lıke 50 mıllıon people tryıng to get them.
CLICK!MESSAGE ME.	Jul 2 2009 8:03 AM SO DOSE PARIS KNOW YOU BOROWED HER HAT?
CLICK!MESSAGE ME.	Jul 2 2009 7:03 AM HEY WHATS UP.DUDE YOU DID IT AGAIN.!!!!!!!!!!YOU MAD ME LAUGH:)YOU SO ..LOL YOU GOT TO GET TIRED OF HEARING THIS.FUNNY.:)ITS BEEN WHILE DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT BOYFRIEND?OOH I SEE YOUR TO BIG NOW TO COMMENT MY PAGE?WELL ALL I DO ALL DAY IS BE A COMUNITY ORGANIZER.YA LIKE BEROCK OBAMA WAS.REMIMBER I TOLD YOU CORLOS MENCEA WANTED US TO GET MARRIED?I STILL HAVE THAT PIC OF HIM AND I.IN MY PICS.OOH CONGRADULATIONS.SO NOW I HEAD M.JS THING WILL BE AT STAPLES ON WENSDAY.ARE YOU GOING?EVERY ONE IS HUH.EXSPECIALY ARE AGE.OK IM ON LINE.OK EVERY BODY LETS SEE IF MISS ALONZO MESSAGES MY PAGE.
jagermiesterladyB.P.C BITCHEZ!	Jul 2 2009 5:43 AM girl when are you coming back to albuquerque! you fucking rock and hella funny
BettyBoop	Jul 2 2009 12:29 AM digging d crown!
Quintessential Uber Male	Jun 29 2009 11:14 PM What about the them round sandwiches, popcorn, and Slush Puppy slushies from K-Mart?
Johanne "La Florecita Rockera"	Jun 29 2009 7:39 PM UR FUCKEN AWESOME! Great show last night. Love Ya!
♥MrS. WaLtZ	Jun 29 2009 3:21 AM Hey cristela hope your having a good evening!
Christian	Jun 29 2009 2:08 AM HEY CRISTELA WHAT'S UP, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY, WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU?

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