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So, you can't open one of your eyes, there's puke on your shirt, your ass
hurts and there's a sore on your lip...what are you going to do, cry about
it? You want good times and good vibes brah? You sure as hell barked up the
wrong tree didn't you? Maybe you should have thought about that before you
took a ride with the five riders of the apocalypse.
Now you want to argue with me and tell me there's only four riders of the
apocalypse? I have been assured that there is indeed a fifth rider, the
dreaded Booze-Fueled Cokehead, and he thinks the other four are goth
pussies. As a matter of fact, all five of the Dickdusters represent this
fifth rider. You can ask them to explain this to you, but you will more than
likely just end up confused with a face full of chewed up french fries and
pain killers.
To truly the understand the Dickdusters, I suggest the following
experiement: First, shoot meth for about a week straight. Then, convert your
garage into a walk-in microwave with the controls on the inside. Now gather
up all of your Black Sabbath 8 tracks, an 8 track player and the loudest
system you can find and bring them with you into the garage/microwave. Now
crank the microwave and stereo up as high as they will go and play that 8
track. As the tape lurches and warps and your brain begins to cook, you will
come to know that the saviours of rock and the bringers of the apocalypse
are one and the same...the Dickdusters. Also, you will probably die. Good
riddance.
-Paul Akin
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"The DickDusters were fucking awful. There was almost nothing redeeming about this band whatsoever. That being said, they were probably having more fun than anyone else in the entire bar. DickDusters are probably as close as San Francisco has gotten to real punk rock since the 80s."
squozen.com
"YOU MAKE GG ALLIN SEEM INTERESTING AND INTELLIGENT."
Steve
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