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Dear Dumbledork, 

I hope you are still enjoying my debut full-length double-disc EP, Death to Humans. If you have any friends who need a copy, I still have like 198 of them in my closet. Tell them to order it from my Myspace. Each copy comes with free toast.

I know a lot of wizards are really into this idea of making these charity records. I have even been asked to contribute to a few of them myself. That's all well and good, but I don't get what the big deal is about reading. Why do all these kids need to read so much? Don't they have YouTube?  

Anyway, I've decided to go ahead and make my own charity compilation that will benefit squids. Yes, that's right, SQUIDS! Humans have brought too much death and destruction to this world for me to continue propping them up with such philanthropic endeavours.  

I am now soliciting contributions to this compilation album. The compilation is entitled:

A Tribute to the Giant Squidstravaganza

If you or anyone you know wants to contribute a song, please email me (giantsquidrocks@yahoo.com). The song does not need to be by or about wizards. Instead, it should be either by or about me. In other words, it would be OK for you to cover one of my songs, and it would also be OK for you to write your own song about how awesome I am. It would NOT be OK for you to cover someone else's song, unless that song was about me. It is also NOT OK to write songs about stuff I don't care about, i.e, girls you want to make out with, stupid Hogwarts teen drama, and/or Twilight (whatever that is).