GETNIEUKED
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"THIS NOVEMBER ILLINOIS GET READY TO GETNIEUKED!!!!"
Male
26 years old
WASHINGTON, Illinois
United States
Last Login:3/22/2008
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TIM NIEUKIRK
ABRAHAM LINCOLN
RONALD REAGAN
CASEY DeFAUW
BARACK OBAMA
JOHN L. LEWIS
RICHARD J. DALEY
RICHARD M. DALEY
HUGH HEFNER
DICK GREGORY
 ULYSSES S. GRANT
JOHN A. LOGAN
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GETNIEUKED's Details
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| Status: | Single | | Zodiac Sign: | Virgo |
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TIM NIEUKIRK--BIOGRAPHY OF WRITE-IN CANIDATE FOR GOVERNOR--
On July 28th, 1981, Timothy Nieukirk was born unto Bob and Theresa Nieukirk. He has resided primarily in Washington, Illinois since his birth. Nicknamed "Ross" at an early age (due to his status as a "boss hoss"), Tim progressed steadily through his academic and social development, becoming an Eagle Scout and being named to the Honor Roll zero times. In lieu of organized sports, Tim became a master of the Nintendo, particularly the Madden games, a series by which many young men of his generation measure themselves, a hobby he continues to this day. He is also an avid outdoorsman, an experienced camper, hunter, fisher, and werewolf hunter. His primary leisure activities are chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, and shooting some b-ball outside of the school.
Tim's distinguished work history shows a dedication to helping the people of Illinois. Beginning as his neighborhood's paperboy for 6 years, he delivered the news, following the first job precedent of such American greats as John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, and Eleanor Roosevelt. He spent his summers working at the Ingersoll Summer Camp for Boy Scouts, fortifying the wills and morals of junior scouts, and not molesting them. Part-time customer service work at Best Buy and CVS Pharmacy helped Tim develop the personal skills that will help him navigate through the political bickering of Springfield. While his campaign ramps up, Tim is moonlighting at the restaurant Bernardi's as a busboy. Clearly the Governorship of Illinois is the next and only logical step for Tim.
Tim believes strongly in education, particularly in higher education. Thus he has attended three such state institutes. He started at Illinois Central College, achieved his Associate's Degree, transfered to Western Illinois University, and transferred again to Illinois State University to really round out the experience. He currently majors in Safety Sciences. What could say 'responsible leadership' better than Safety Sciences?
Tim is a Leo, his favorite color is red, his lucky number is 21. Amongst his proudest accomplishments are being named Senior Patrol Leader (Head of Troop) of Troop 163, being elected Student Council Rep. for Pep Club in high school, and receiving the Antoine de Beauterne Award for Excellence in Werewolf Hunting from the American Lycanthropist Society of America in 2003. His karoake performances of "Blame It on the Rain" frequently reduce men to tears, and women to violent orgasms.
Vote for Tim. He's the best.
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Who I'd like to meet:
CASEY DeFAUW--BIOGRAPHY OF WRITE-IN CANIDATE FOR LT. GOVERNOR--Garrett Casey DeFauw, just Casey to friends and family, was born in Dixon, Illinois. Soon he would move to Port Byron, Illinois enjoying his childhood in and around the Quad Cities—especially Whitey’s Ice Cream Parlors. He then moved to Pontiac, Illinois. But yet another job change for his Father prompted his family to move to Washington, Illinois; where he spent his high school years living in the Peoria area.
While in school at Washington Community High School Casey was the back-up quarterback for the Varisty football team. He was nominated for Homecoming King but lost. And he ran for Student Council President accordingly he also lost; according to the Oracle of Delphi his destiny is second place and that iswhy he is running for Lieutenant Governor.
Casey attended Southern Illinois University in Carbondale. He majored in Cinema Production and Theory with a minor in American History. Casey ran with hippies, flunkies, stoners, overachievers, Green Party representatives, straight edged neo-fascists, hill-billies, cowboys, and pretty much anyone “Freakin’ at the Freaker’s Ball.” Oh, he also graduated with Honors—no joke.
Since his graduation Casey has pretty much bummed around not really reaching his full potential. However he did take a trip to New York City that was pretty cool. He met the Chancellor of SIU on his plane to Queens. During conversation Casey told him of his plans to hang out and chase tail for a year or two. Mr. Wendler, the Chancellor, stopped talking to him at once.
Casey never really had a high school sweetheart and doesn’t have a girlfriend at this moment either. He stands 6 feet 6 inches and likes his ladies like he likes his pie, hot and top with ice cream. He is a Virgo who loves jugs of wine, enjoys theme songs to cartoons such as “Tail Spin” and playing boardgames.
“I have always admired Ben Franklin, he was the ‘First American,’ the founder of the modern fire department and libraries. And I really like reading.” Casey DeFauw
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