Melissa Surach
"Everyone is the antichrist but me."

Female
27 years old
Jersey City, New Jersey
United States



Last Login:7/19/2008
Mood: quixotic Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting Melissa Surach

 MySpace URL: 
  http://www.myspace.com/gynocultsweetmelissa  

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    Melissa Surach's Interests
General
MusicChildren screaming or cats fucking.
MoviesI like to watch PBS documentaries about elephants that never forget and cry to them.
TelevisionDid you know that there's a gun inside your TV? Too bad it only shoots electrons. DEAD LIKE ME.
BooksBooks are for babies.
HeroesMary K. Letourneau and ethnic jokes.
Groups: Dirty Jersey ComedyGynoCult ComedyScumbag Rock-N-Rollers Of The WorldNYC Underground Comedy FestHudson county bows down to Jersey City where thugz poets and punks show now pity

View All Melissa Surach's Groups

     Melissa Surach's Details
Status:In a Relationship
Here for:Serious Relationships
Hometown:YUPPIES CALL IT KILLTOWN
Zodiac Sign:Pisces
Education:Grad / professional school
Occupation:pariah

   Melissa Surach's Schools
New York University
New York,New York
Graduated: 2005
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Professional
Major: Screenwriting
 

2004 to 2005
MCGILL UNIVERSITY
Montreal, Canada
Graduated: 2003
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Mathematics and Statistics
Minor: Philosophy, Japanese Language and Literature
Clubs: The Red Herring
 

1999 to 2003

   Melissa Surach's Networking
Publishing - Writer - Other
sketch, stand up, essays, short screenplays

   Melissa Surach's Companies
GynoCult, www.gynocult.com
Jersey City, NJ US
Cult Leader




Melissa Surach is going to reenact her birth tonight.

Melissa Surach's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

Oh, 1099, where art thou?  (view more)

Stop Raping People!  (view more)

Nudie Playing Cards  (view more)

BabyHole Sausage Fest Contest  (view more)

My calendar is selling. Thanks, Father Time!  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Melissa Surach's Blurbs
About me:
The internet is hard.

Fear and Dread, Guilt and Shame.

IF YOU DON'T BUY MY CALENDAR YOU GET DICK CANCER. DON'T NOT BECOME A STATISTIC IN 2008.


Or you can buy the last few at Another Man's Treasure, Balance Hair Salon, Imagine Atrium and Toy Eaters.
Who I'd like to meet:
Philistines OR Alexyss K. Tylor.

   Melissa Surach's Calendar ( View All )
Jul 11 2008 9:00P
Melissa Hot Sauce Debut @ Shh! It’s a secret!
Aug 10 2008 7:00P
Sunday Soiree @ Botanica Bar
Aug 12 2008 8:00P
Pat Lamb’s Show @ Fine Grind
Sep 2 2008 8:00P
BabyHole’s Open Mic Season Premier @ Toy Eaters

   Melissa Surach's Friend Space (Top 8)
Melissa Surach has 425 friends.
 BabyHole 


 Rustin 


 Toy Eaters Studio 


 *fifty8* 


 Art House Productions 


 verity 


 It's Pete! 


 eric 





Melissa Surach's Friends Comments
Displaying 50 of 267 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
Thirsty-Thursday.net





Jul 3 2008 12:12 AM

Made with 100% man-milk:

Sparkle Picnic: Goat Cheese (Episode 10)

http://www. SparklePicnic. com/

Rolando Gabriel





Jun 21 2008 3:34 PM

The Rock Photography of Laura Desantis-Olsson, Friday, June 27th.
7:30 - Midnight
sporkdork





Jun 20 2008 8:49 AM

BDAY FLYER.jpg
Rolando Gabriel





Jun 17 2008 4:43 AM

nuny





May 28 2008 11:40 PM

hey.. it ws nice meeting u on tues at the open mic.. good times, hopefully i can make it out for your show on friday... best of luck with that... rojo
TREMBLE IN THE HEAT





Mar 18 2008 6:21 AM

Photobucket
JESSE





Mar 16 2008 8:45 PM

St. Pattys Day
i thought u'd enjoy a little hasselhoff with ur beers
Marginal and loving it!





Mar 13 2008 9:58 PM

What's shaking? Long time no Smelissa!
ALEXANDER THE POET





Feb 22 2008 4:57 PM

ALEXANDER THE POET





Feb 11 2008 3:30 PM

Hey Melissa, I think this is a great location to do an open mike.

Mike would literally, have to be open :)

Acid Jack





Feb 4 2008 11:03 AM

thinking about signing up for sketch at the baby hole night ....what do you think ???




maybe i can work my portal master character into something lol
Acid Jack





Feb 4 2008 11:02 AM

thinking about signing up for sketch at the baby hole night ....what do you think ???




maybe i can work my portal master character into something lol
verity





Jan 24 2008 4:53 PM

we shut off the cable! we're netflixing it these days. i hear it's the wave of the future. oohhh ahhh
Butch & Bellie





Jan 24 2008 8:17 AM

besos!

Photobucket
ALEXANDER THE POET





Jan 23 2008 10:46 PM

If you want to kill yourself hearing Hey There Delilah, then maybe this is the remedy. Hey There Chlamydia. LOL

Caligula





Jan 19 2008 5:22 PM

I lost my fuckin Calendar!!!
JackHalpin





Jan 10 2008 8:17 PM

Very sorry to miss calendar event--I was in a light coma with a chest cold. Christine and I still wanna buy one!
Ben Lerman





Jan 9 2008 1:58 PM

what a great babyhole! thanks! i put your calendar up over my bed. it took te place of this weird styrofoam puzzle i found in chinatown called, "Anatomy Puzzle." My 2008 resolution is to solve the anatomy puzzle.
kerri--TOOEARLY2LATE!





Dec 28 2007 2:29 AM

THIS IS KERRI PUSSY-KNIFE AND I GOTTA MESSAGE FOR YOU: dont sing-along to music on yer ipod when yer walkin, nobody wants to hear it and YOU SUCKKKK!!!FUCK YOU, <3 ME
Caligula





Dec 27 2007 11:22 AM

PoP's was a fun spot last night!
jessica





Dec 24 2007 5:14 PM

Photobucket
ViLe All-StarS





Dec 11 2007 1:42 PM

What up? I found this website and thought i'd tell everyone, it shows you if anyone at school likes you... I dont know how it works but its really cool, its revealed a few people who have had crushes on me FOREVER, i called the person up and it was TRUE!! You gotta try it!

Click Here to Find Out
ViLe All-StarS





Dec 8 2007 5:05 AM

Whats up? I found this site and thought i'd tell everyone, it shows you if anyone at school likes you. I dont know how it works but its really cool, it told me a couple different people who have crushes on me since gradeschool. You gotta try it!

Click here to find Out
Tom McCaffrey





Dec 6 2007 11:07 PM

whats up? i found this site and thought i'd tell everyone, it shows you if anyone at school likes you. i dont know how it works but its really cool, it told me a couple different people who have crushes on me. you gotta try it!

Does anyone like you? Click here to find out.
Manny


Is Online


Nov 30 2007 8:24 AM

Hey!! FYI I'm having a party tomorrow at my place. It's for Ron's Birthday! Ron-O-Palooza!! There will be a keg and tons of liquor. No need to BYOB. Let me know!
jew deaf





Nov 20 2007 12:33 PM

I saw you in the New, NEW!! Page 2! Well, not that pg., but it just sounds so good.
Proper Sophisticated Gentleman!





Nov 18 2007 10:25 PM

http://www.velvetpaintings.com/JonBenet-Gold-500.jpg

Enjoy life as the messiah would.
verity





Nov 17 2007 2:09 PM

There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne. There is no Jeanne.

Are you scared now?
Iron Monkey Jersey City





Nov 16 2007 5:49 PM

Do you believe in going to heaven?

Will you make it there?

Want to find out?

Take this FREE HEAVEN QUIZ!
The Coffin Daggers





Nov 14 2007 12:05 PM

Caligula





Nov 13 2007 10:12 AM



I love this fucking guy!! heres some inspiration!!!
Iron Monkey Jersey City





Nov 12 2007 11:04 PM

PATRICK





Nov 2 2007 6:57 PM



Marginal and loving it!





Nov 2 2007 5:28 PM

Drinking at the dollar store... that's pretty brilliant.
Saint Patrick





Nov 1 2007 11:38 AM

ChrisTOPHER