(SCOTT WANTS YOU TO KNOW: The following bio reads like someone else posted it. Be assured that I'm far too controlling to let anyone else write it.) Scott is a nationally touring standup comedian who is a regular at all the top comedy clubs. From topical material to dark thoughts about his personal life, unpredicatability rules. Scott sees himself as an intellectual guru, changing people's lives with his words. Scott says "comedy is my way to building my flock to aid me in my ultimate goal---CULT LEADER."-------------------- Scott has been seen on Fox and NBC television. Scott is a guest on well-over 100 radio shows, including many nationally syndicated shows like Fox Sports, ESPN, Sporting News, and the Bob and Tom Show.
Website
thejuiceblog.com ******* scottlongonline.com
Influences
George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Sam Kinison, Dennis Miller, Gallagher 2
Members
This is the Place I’ve chosen to list clubs I’ve performed at----------------
IMPROV (Baltimore, Chicago, Cleveland, Dallas, Ft. Lauderdale, Houston, Irvine, Orlando, Pittsburgh, Tampa, Tempe, Washington DC) Funny Bone (Baton Rouge, Buffalo, Columbus, Des Moines, Green Bay, St. Louis, South Bend, Springfield MO), Loony Bin (Little Rock, Memphis, Oklahoma City, Wichita), Comedy Zone (Charlotte), Punchline (Atlanta), Joke Joint (Twin Cities), Minnesota Comedy Club (Twin Cities), Zanies (Chicago), Giggles (Milwaukee), Chaplins (Detroit), Joey’s (Detroit), Famous Johnny’s (Kansas City), Stanfords (Kansas City), Crackers (Indianapolis), Comedy Caravan (Louisville), Go Bananas (Cincinnati), Stardome (Birmingham), Rivercenter Comedy Club (San Antonio), Laffs (Tucson), Comedy at the Bob (Grand Rapids), Connections (Lansing, Toledo), Hilarities (Akron), Gary Fields Comedy Club (Battle Creek, Kalamazoo), Comedy Forum (St. Louis), Snickers (Ft. Wayne), Jokers (Omaha, OKC), Charlie Goodnights (Raliegh NC), Cozzy’s (Newport News VA), Penguins (Cedar Rapids), Jukebox (Peoria), Comedy Gallery (Grand Forks)-------------- This is just a partial list and if the place exists or did in the past, I’ve probably done a one-nighter there.
TV Shows
For the past 5 years has been a writer for the Frank’s Picks segments which appear on the NFL Pregame Show on Fox. ------- Appeared in one sketch as Terry Bradshaw’s less than hetero "friend". ---------- Was a guest on CNN’s Talkback Live.--------Performed on the spoken word stage at Lollapalooza 1994.
Films
Played the part of the Gimp in Pulp Fiction.
Albums
Standup DVD titled: "3-Ring Circus"--------
Comedy CD titled: "Unsanitized for Your Protection"-------Book of Essays: "Dysfunctional Thoughts of a 21st Century Man"
SCOTT LONG's Interests
General
Pushing boundaries.
Music
(Not in Order) The Beatles, U-2, REM, The Who, Rolling Stones (Some Girls and before), Jimi Hendrix, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Bruce Springsteen, Radiohead (The Bends and OK Computer), The Pixies, The Replacements, Green Day, The Clash, Elvis Costello, Joe Jackson, Ben Folds, Billy Joel, Elton John (the 70's), David Bowie, Cheap Trick, The White Stripes, Led Zeppelin, Van Halen (Roth), Rage Against the Machine, System of a Down, The Cult, Nine Inch Nails, Prince, Stevie Wonder, Earth Wind & Fire, Lyle Lovett, George Michael, Liz Phair, Sarah McLachlan, Shawn Colvin, Kelly Willis, John Mellencamp, Counting Crows, Matthew Sweet, Spoon, Jellyfish, Jason Falkner, Jude Cole, Michael Penn, Marshall Crenshaw, Crowded House, Del Amitri, Lemonheads, INXS, The Cure, Depeche Mode, Cake, Talking Heads, Pavement, Hot Hot Heat, Muse, Snow Patrol, Bee Gees, Abba, Van Morrison, Beck, Morphine, Beastie Boys, DeLaSoul, Public Enemy, Eric B and Rakim
Movies
(THE 10 Best Dramas in no particular order) Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Apocalypse Now, The Godfather, Good Fellas, Mystic River, Fight Club, Citizen Kane, Midnight Run, Silverado
(THE 10 Best Comedies in no particular order) Office Space, There's Something About Mary, This is Spinal Tap, A Fish Called Wanda, Sleeper, Raising Arizona, The Big Lebowski, Groundhog Day, Lost in America, A Christmas Story
Television
(In no particular order) Deadwood, The West Wing (Sorkin years), NYPD Blue (Caruso season), The Shield, The Sopranos (First 3 years), 24 (First 2 years), LA Law (first few years), Six Feet Under, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry Sanders Show, Arrested Development, The Office (British version), Cheers (The Diane years), TV Funhouse, SNL (some years great, just as many not), Late Night with David Lettermen (80's) Frontline and American Experience, Behind the Music (the first couple of years)
Books
A Prayer for Owen Meany, The World According to Garp, Cider House Rules---John Irving; One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest---Ken Kesey; Bonfire of the Vanities, A Man in Full---Tom Wolfe; Presumed Innocent---Scott Turow; memoirs/fiction?: Me Talk Pretty One Day, Naked---David Sedaris; Running with Scissors, Dry---Augusten Burroughs; A Million Little Pieces---James Frey (Yeah, I know, but I still love the book.)
About me:
Touring Standup Comic (33 states and counting)
Have performed at the best comedy clubs and the worst bars in America.
Have done shows at Strip Clubs and State Pens.
Regular guest on radio shows.
Author of the book "Dysfunctional Thoughts of a 21st Century Man".
Visit thejuiceblog.com, my blog.
Writer for Fox Sports TV.
Who I'd like to meet: Bill Clinton, George Carlin, Elvis Costello, John Irving, Gene Hackman. Now that would be an interesting dinner conversation.
I sure wish it were the following weekend you were going to be in Lansing! We're going to be right next door in Mason the following Friday for a week vacation! My husband was even disappointed! He would have loved to see your show again! Anywhere close to that area the following weekend/week?
scott- saw your dvd- loved it when you go to the audience and the guy says, "Im just F***ing her" that cracked me up! who says that?!? Great stuff though. Good luck in chi-town. I am keeping down the fort in OP, Kansas.
Great sketch on Sunday, as usual. Have fun "Tribbling" this week. Nice job by your Hawkeyes last Saturday. Thank God, as the Cyclones were one of my few winners. LOL
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement.
He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
