About me:
Hello. I live in my grandmother's basement where I play Dungeons and Dragons and Everquest all day long. I take breaks only to masturbate and drink Yoo Hoos. My grandmother makes her own licorice and if anybody wants to come over I will let you wip me with her licorice sticks. Then my dog can join in and we will put it on the Internet. Your probably wondering about my bear, right? That is Lieutenant Wadsworth. He was once a Colonel but was demoted after shooting an unarmed man. Now Lt. Wadsworth helps me fight crime and pick up chicks. I am still a virgin but I once caught a glimpse of a girl changing in a Marshall Fields dressing room. I felt a weird sensation growing in my pants so I let my bear finish me off in the car. The weird thing is I don't have a car. I am currently training for a career in horsecock steering. It is my job to glide the male horsecock into the female horse vagina in order to properly impregnate her. My grandmother says I am the best horsecock steerer this side of the Rio Grande and trust me when I say she knows a thing or two about steering horsecocks. I once went into an epileptic fit after playing 473 hours of continuous Everquest on my computer. When I awoke my hands were bleeding and I had double vision. My grandmother thought I had the stigmata and she enrolled me in seminary school. For the exception of getting molested by Father O'Malley I did not like seminary school. My Grandmother says I was artificially ensiminated and that my mother died at birth but all the townsfolk and the guys from the horsecock steering ranch tell me that my mother lives in Reseda and sells her body for crack rocks. I also collect rocks but I could never find anyone willing to pay for them. I have a lovely amethyst that was given to me by my grandmother's boyfriend Lloyd. Lloyd is nice except when he tazers me. The townsfolk also say that I was never artificially produced in a lab and that my dad could have been one of many, many men. They informed me that my mother had slept with more people than she didn't and that it was likely she had given me the letters at birth. I didn't understand his slang so I just wept gently. I am scared of people, places and things and I seek solace in my computer and Star Trek tapes. My stuffed bear is my best friend but I am hoping to meet others through the information superhighway. Maybe this will also lead to my first kiss and maybe down the line, my first fingerblast. Be my friend and your wildest dreams will come true.
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Freitag // 26. Juni // 23:00Uhr @ Sass, Karlsplatz 1
Jeremiah (Grow!) Rainer Klang (Lost In Music) Smoove (My Beat)
We are are back at Sass Music Club this Friday (June 26th) for our monthly residency. This month we welcome Jeremiah a true veteran in the austrian deep house scene. Definitely not to be missed! Hope to see you all down Sass Music Club on Friday night!
