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Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602
Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602 CALL ME AT (917) 267-2602. THIS IS REAL, NO SCAM. I LISTEN TO FAN MESSAGES, RANDOMLY CALLING BACK

Male
41 years old
NEW YORK, NY
United States



Last Login: 11/7/2009
Mood: apathetic Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602

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   Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Comedian Bio
InfluencesPete Best, Gary Glitter, Pete Townsend, Jerry Lee Lewis, John Wayne Gacy, Paul Rodriguez, Ru Paul and Colin Quinn
TV ShowsDown and Dirty with Jim Norton, HBO One Night Stand, Lucky Louie (HBO), The Tonight Show (6 appearances), The Late Show With David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn (2 seasons), Chelsea Lately (2 appearances), Last Call with Carson Daily (2 appearances), Last Comic Standing, a pilot with VH1 that failed miserably along with about 5 MTV pilots that went into the toilet.
FilmsBoogie Nights (I played Dirk Diggler's prosthetic in the last scene), Godfather 2 (Myself), Spider-Man (Title role), Hulk (tank driver number 4), A Very Brady Reunion (State trooper who arrests dear old dad for drilling a hole in the side of a Port-A-Potty), Walk The Line (June Carter Cash) and The Poseiden Adventure (uncredited cameo as Shelly Winter's tampon)

    Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Interests
MusicThe Robert Reed 'Robe Pocket Full of Tissues' Commemerative Christmas album and anything by Marvin Gaye after 1984
TelevisionJoey, Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi's Funniest Home Videos
BooksChicken Soup For the Prostate and How To Get Rich With Capped Teeth and a Wig by Tony Robbins

     Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Details
Status:Single
Orientation:Straight
Body type:5' 7"
Zodiac Sign:Cancer
Occupation:Sodomite


Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Clips [View All Clips]
Clips: 10 Total Plays: 352986 Plays Today: 0
I Hate Your Guts
I Hate Your Guts rating
I Hate Your Guts
I Hate Your Guts rating
Down and Dirty with Jim Norton
Down and Dirty with Jim Norton rating
JIM NORTON HBO SPECIAL: MONSTER RAIN
JIM NORTON HBO SPECIAL: MONSTER RAIN rating
Jim Norton - Tonight Show 1
Jim Norton - Tonight Show 1 rating
The Tales Of A Meaty Breasted Zilch - Episode 3
The Tales Of A Meaty Breasted Zilch - Episode 3 rating
The Tales Of A Meaty Breasted Zilch - Episode 2
The Tales Of A Meaty Breasted Zilch - Episode 2 rating
The Tales Of A Meaty-Breasted Zilch
The Tales Of A Meaty-Breasted Zilch rating
Jim Norton - Tonight Show 2
Jim Norton - Tonight Show 2 rating
Jim Norton - One Night Stand
Jim Norton - One Night Stand rating
 

   Upcoming Gigs
Nov 2 2009 3:00A
Red Eye (Fox News Channel) New York NY
Nov 5 2009 8:00P
Houston Improv Houston TX
Nov 6 2009 8:00P
Houston Improv (2 Shows) Houston TX
Nov 7 2009 7:00P
Houston Improv (2 Shows) Houston TX
Nov 9 2009 3:00A
Red Eye (Fox News Channel) New York NY
Nov 12 2009 7:30P
Funny Bone Comedy Club Richmond VA
Nov 13 2009 7:30P
Funny Bone Comedy Club (2 Shows) Richmond VA
Nov 14 2009 7:30P
Funny Bone Comedy Club (2 Shows) Richmond VA
Nov 16 2009 3:00A
Red Eye (Fox News Channel) New York NY
Nov 23 2009 3:00A
Red Eye (Fox News Channel) New York NY
Nov 25 2009 8:00P
Stress Factory (2 Shows) New Brunswick NJ
Nov 27 2009 7:00P
Comedy Connection (2 Shows) Chicopee MA
Nov 28 2009 7:00P
Wilbur Theatre Boston MA
Nov 30 2009 3:00A
Red Eye (Fox News Channel) New York NY
Dec 3 2009 8:00P
Caroline’s On Broadway New York NY
Dec 4 2009 8:00P
Caroline’s On Broadway (2 Shows) New York NY
Dec 5 2009 8:00P
Caroline’s On Broadway (2 Shows) New York NY
Dec 6 2009 8:00P
Caroline’s On Broadway New York NY
Dec 12 2009 8:00P
Uptown Theater Kansas City MO
Dec 18 2009 8:00P
YMCA Boulton Center (2 Shows) Bay Shore NY
Dec 31 2009 8:00P
Hollywood Improv @ Hard Rock (2 Shows) Hollywood FL
Jan 1 2010 8:00P
Hollywood Improv @ Hard Rock Hollywood FL
Jan 2 2010 8:00P
Hollywood Improv @ Hard Rock (2 Shows) Hollywood FL
Jan 7 2010 8:00P
Addison Improv Addison TX
Jan 8 2010 8:00P
Addison Improv (2 Shows) Addison TX
Jan 9 2010 7:00P
Addison Improv (3 Shows) Addison TX
Jan 15 2010 8:00P
Music Box @ The Borgata Atlantic City NJ
Jan 16 2010 8:00P
Music Box @ The Borgata Atlantic City NJ

Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

2009-2010 LIVE SHOWS  (view more)

ARTIE LANGE & JIM NORTON TO SHARE STAGE  (view more)

HBO Taping - Get Your Free Tickets  (view more)

JIM NORTON - LIVE IN CONCERT!  (view more)

MY GOOD NAME  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Blurbs
About me:






Also available at: Barnes & Noble and Borders





















TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Jim "The Carrier" Norton
Birthday:every day LOLOLOLLOL
Birthplace:dropped unceremoniously onto a bath mat during a coughing fit
Current Location:closer to a grammar school than allowed by law
Eye Color:bloody-stool brown
Hair Color:brown, speckled with thick, cakey dandruff
Height:tall enough to get on the rides at Coney Island
Right Handed or Left Handed:tug with my right, bag tickle with my left
Your Heritage:my Irish great-grandmother was teabagged by a Hun, which by default makes me a silly goose
The Shoes You Wore Today:patten leather with a buckle, like Shirley Temple used to wear
Your Weakness:an invalid laying sideways with her mouth open
Your Fears:that I will be overheard making the Yummy noise glancing at an older gentleman in a rest area men's room
Your Perfect Pizza:oven crusted with lightly seared placenta, covered with flamingo vomit
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:I'd like to stop needlessly kicking retarded people
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:"Your ass looks amazing in those diapers"
Thoughts First Waking Up:"Who is this strapping Negro?"
Your Best Physical Feature:my taint
Your Bedtime:10 minutes after my tranny movies end
Your Most Missed Memory:being face down in a pillow with whiskey being breathed into my face from the side by my uncle
Pepsi or Coke:hot dog water
MacDonalds or Burger King:MEAT IS MURDER!
Single or Group Dates:I prefer single dates and group scat parties
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:whatever kind Jim Jones drank
Chocolate or Vanilla:ice cream is for queers
Cappuccino or Coffee:ice lattes, because they help get the logs moving
Do you Smoke:only when babysitting
Do you Swear:yes, I frequently tell people to "buzz off" and "go jump in a lake"
Do you Sing:I tend to hum Lionel Ritchie songs while I'm being raped
Do you Shower Daily:I prefer to have dogs lick the sweat off my balls and neck
Have you Been in Love:never with a girl
Do you want to go to College:learning is for queers
Do you want to get Married:yes, to Laci Peterson
Do you believe in yourself:I didnt until my only Son was crucified by Pontius Pilot
Do you get Motion Sickness:only when riding fat girls
Do you think you are Attractive:yes, when compared with burn victims
Are you a Health Freak:I take my AZT cocktails every day
Do you get along with your Parents:I did until I killed them for insurance money
Do you like Thunderstorms:yes, because they cause youngsters to huddle under my covers
Do you play an Instrument:I play spoons and the rape whistle
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:no, but I've purchased it for minors
In the past month have you Smoked:a salmon and some almonds
In the past month have you been on :cialis
In the past month have you gone on a Date:do prostitutes count?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yes, to buy my grandmother an athletic supporter
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:why would I eat a box full of black people who act white?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:no, but I store it in my girlfriends underpants
In the past month have you been on Stage:yes. In Mexico, with a donkey
In the past month have you been Dumped:yes, on my chest
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:twice in a kiddie pool
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:2 babies and a prosthetic testicle
Ever been Drunk:one night while driving Billy Martin home
Ever been called a Tease:a cancer patient once called me that while I dangled morphine over his face
Ever been Beaten up:on a playground by a group of concerned parents
Ever Shoplifted:I smuggled a gerbil out of the store without using my hands
How do you want to Die:I want to be sawed in half while felching Jack Klugman
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:Dominican drug lord
What country would you most like to Visit:Wyoming
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:black and blue
Favourite Hair Color:golf course green
Short or Long Hair:chemo whispy
Height:under 4 feet
Weight:75 pounds and willing to vomit
Best Clothing Style:torn off
Number of I have taken:what in Sam Hill does this question mean?
Number of CDs I own:3, all Huey Lewis
Number of Piercings:both nipples,but accidentally
Number of Tattoos:either a tear drop on the face or cartoon characters on her crotch
Number of things in my Past I Regret:5,679


Who I'd like to meet:
a retarded girl who can deep throat.

   Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Friend Space (Top 15)
Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602 has 62050 friends.
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Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Friends Comments
Displaying 25 of 20109 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
Randy J. Medeiros

Randy J. Medeiros



Nov 6 2009 9:50 PM

Hey.
Got an odd question.
Ever want to know how much crazy shit I see on the road?
Come read my new blog.
I’m starting a series called, “Stories From The Road.”
This is just part 1, so if it gives ya a thrill, tell me and I’ll know to start the next one.
That’s about it for now.
Don’t forget to do something productive today.
Latter.
(randyjmedeiros.blogspot.com)
Aaron

Aaron Scott



Nov 5 2009 8:16 PM

I love you, sweet Jimmy.
Quig

Anthony Quigley



Nov 5 2009 9:05 AM

Ah man Jimmy...why cancel Richmond? Was it the cunts on our end?
T.A.S.T.Y

Tasty Nights



Nov 5 2009 5:28 AM

WE ARE OPEN!! THE PARTY NEVER STOPS!
WE ARE SPOKANE'S BEST PARTY, HANDS DOWN.
WE THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT EACH AND EVERY WEEK!
If you have time, please sign up for our broadtexter on our page and recieve alerts and inside information concerning TASTY parties. [Receive exclusive discounts in the future if you sign up]

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корень пива мужчина

Austin West



Nov 4 2009 10:41 PM

What the fuck jim, canceling the richmond shows.....WHY....is it the AIDS
Bana

Joanne Mckean



Nov 4 2009 8:09 PM

Check out my profile And Let me know Do you like me YES or NO http://www.doulike.us/photos/3134996.html?b=4&w=46
The Chorizo King!

The Chorizo King!



Nov 4 2009 6:12 PM

You're appreciated!
Zhivago
Pop Haydn

Whit
Online Now!


Nov 4 2009 2:25 AM

New Web Site!

Check out my new web site at www.PopHaydn.com

Cool graphics, video, and the True Story of Pop Haydn.
abodis13

Alexander Bodis



Nov 3 2009 8:13 PM

Check out my profile And Let me know Do you like me YES or NO http://www.doulike.us/photos/3131541.html?b=4&w=46
Mr. Jim

Sprank TheArtist



Nov 3 2009 3:20 PM

Hey Jim,
Wondering if your going to be a regular on The Jay Leno Show now?
Your skits make the show even better; though you have to tone it down for prime time it's still great.
James Flannery

James Flannery



Oct 31 2009 1:09 PM

Happy Halloween!
City Fitted

City Fitted



Oct 30 2009 8:53 PM

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JuLie

JuLie



Oct 30 2009 4:28 PM

Hey Jim Norton so why did Jay Leno call you ed?? i swear he did!
anyways wanted to tell ya that you were hilarious last night I LOL'ed all over my tv!
PhillyCheeze

PhillyCheeze



Oct 30 2009 3:26 AM

Jimmy... good job on Leno tonight. Loved your twitter bit.
SITO 09

SITO 09



Oct 29 2009 5:17 PM

EMPIRE CITY MEDIA GROUP BRINGS YOU THE OFFICIAL SITO's VIDEO SHOOT & CAR SHOW PARTY

*SITO'S VIDEO SHOOT & CAR SHOW PARTY @ CHEMISTRY LOUNGE*

Doors Open @ 10pm
18 For Ladies / 21 For Men
DRESSCODE: Sexy & Trendy TO!
(No Sneakers No Hats)
*Guys $10 Until 12AM Ladies free all night*

****2 for 1 Drinks until 12AM / Bottles Special 2 for $300 + Tax until 12Am****

COAT CHECK AVAILABLE

RESERVE YOUR TABLE EARLY

For More Info Contact;

Empire City LLC.
(347) 338-7573 - call/txt

OR

DJ Bullo
(718) 607-7739 - call/txt

OR

Visit our page on
http://myspace.com/sito09

Thursday, November 19, 2009 at 10:00pm
End Time: Up to You
Location:
Chemistry Lounge
98-07 Liberty Ave
Ozone Park, NY 11417
Tel. (718) 659-0006
WWW.CHEMISTRYNYC.COM

Party of the year!, YOU CAN NOT MISS OUT! Live Performance by SITO Feat/SUSPEK Also, New York's Hottest Battle Rapper AMZILLA, Car Showcase in the parking lot provided by Low Mentality Auto & Bike Club, Grand Tourismo Auto Club, Tekniquez Auto club, Getto Family Auto Club. Free Gift Bag Giveaway Provided by Our Sponsers!! Def a night you do not want to MISS ! ! ! ! !
chaz

chaz



Oct 29 2009 2:47 AM

hope you have a great halloween this weekend
City Fitted

City Fitted



Oct 28 2009 8:00 PM

::Does your Business or Band need customized apparel?:: City Fitted Provides Our Customers With The Highest Quality Screen Printing and Embroidery. - Organic Apparel, Recycled Shirts, Soy Based Inks, Eco Friendly! Make sure to get your free quote at: http://www.cityfitted.com
Mike's Big Dick

Mike's Big Dick



Oct 28 2009 1:12 AM

Hey Angel Face here why were you not at the Extoic Erotic Ball last weekend in San Francisco?
☺♥♪ ºHayleyº ☺♥♪

Hayley Walton



Oct 28 2009 1:04 AM

Please leave me a voice comment for my Myspace page!!

(IT IS TOTALLY FREE!)



you are in the USA so you would call:

1(206)777-0140





and the code is:

0771



(it just asks for the code if more than one person calls at the same time.)



thank you!
☺♥♪Hayley☺♥♪
Wood

Bryan Wood



Oct 27 2009 12:05 AM

Can't wait until you're back in georgia. We love you here man. Saw you the past two years.

Come back man!
Elliot Jonathan

Elliot Jonathan Alvarez



Oct 26 2009 4:57 AM

Jim you completely destroyed in Buffalo. Thanks for signing my XM radio.

And if ya think I'm a cheap shit for not buying a book on the spot relax. Had em both already! :)
Zanex Dissociation

Zanex Dissociation
Online Now!


Oct 25 2009 9:59 AM

Thanks for the friendship. Enjoy the sound.

-zanexd-
Matt

Matt



Oct 24 2009 10:43 PM

GREAT BUFFALO SHOW!!!! EVERYBODY WAS THINKING THE SAME THING ABOUT THAT BIG TITTED WAITRESS!!! UPSTATE NY LOVES YOU YIMMY!!!
Sally

Sally



Oct 24 2009 4:57 PM

Amazing show last night! You killed!!! Thanks for coming to B-lo!
T-Ruck-er

Jeffrey Allen



Oct 24 2009 12:50 PM

BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
i missed you in buffalo.
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