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Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602
Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602 CALL ME AT (917) 267-2602. THIS IS REAL, NO SCAM. I LISTEN TO FAN MESSAGES, RANDOMLY CALLING BACK

Male
41 years old
NEW YORK, NY
United States

Online Now!

Last Login: 12/1/2009
Mood: apathetic Mood Image
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   Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Comedian Bio
InfluencesPete Best, Gary Glitter, Pete Townsend, Jerry Lee Lewis, John Wayne Gacy, Paul Rodriguez, Ru Paul and Colin Quinn
TV ShowsDown and Dirty with Jim Norton, HBO One Night Stand, Lucky Louie (HBO), The Tonight Show (6 appearances), The Late Show With David Letterman, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn (2 seasons), Chelsea Lately (2 appearances), Last Call with Carson Daily (2 appearances), Last Comic Standing, a pilot with VH1 that failed miserably along with about 5 MTV pilots that went into the toilet.
FilmsBoogie Nights (I played Dirk Diggler's prosthetic in the last scene), Godfather 2 (Myself), Spider-Man (Title role), Hulk (tank driver number 4), A Very Brady Reunion (State trooper who arrests dear old dad for drilling a hole in the side of a Port-A-Potty), Walk The Line (June Carter Cash) and The Poseiden Adventure (uncredited cameo as Shelly Winter's tampon)

    Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Interests
MusicThe Robert Reed 'Robe Pocket Full of Tissues' Commemerative Christmas album and anything by Marvin Gaye after 1984
TelevisionJoey, Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi's Funniest Home Videos
BooksChicken Soup For the Prostate and How To Get Rich With Capped Teeth and a Wig by Tony Robbins

     Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Details
Status:Single
Orientation:Straight
Body type:5' 7"
Zodiac Sign:Cancer
Occupation:Sodomite


Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Clips [View All Clips]
Clips: 9 Total Plays: 354782 Plays Today: 0
I Hate Your Guts
I Hate Your Guts rating
Down and Dirty with Jim Norton
Down and Dirty with Jim Norton rating
JIM NORTON HBO SPECIAL: MONSTER RAIN
JIM NORTON HBO SPECIAL: MONSTER RAIN rating
Jim Norton - Tonight Show 1
Jim Norton - Tonight Show 1 rating
The Tales Of A Meaty Breasted Zilch - Episode 3
The Tales Of A Meaty Breasted Zilch - Episode 3 rating
The Tales Of A Meaty Breasted Zilch - Episode 2
The Tales Of A Meaty Breasted Zilch - Episode 2 rating
The Tales Of A Meaty-Breasted Zilch
The Tales Of A Meaty-Breasted Zilch rating
Jim Norton - Tonight Show 2
Jim Norton - Tonight Show 2 rating
Jim Norton - One Night Stand
Jim Norton - One Night Stand rating
 

   Upcoming Gigs
Nov 23 2009 3:00A
Red Eye (Fox News Channel) New York NY
Nov 25 2009 8:00P
Stress Factory (2 Shows) New Brunswick NJ
Nov 27 2009 9:30P
Comedy Connection Chicopee MA
Nov 28 2009 7:00P
Wilbur Theatre (2 Shows) Boston MA
Nov 30 2009 3:00A
Red Eye (Fox News Channel) New York NY
Dec 3 2009 8:00P
Caroline’s On Broadway New York NY
Dec 4 2009 8:00P
Caroline’s On Broadway (2 Shows) New York NY
Dec 5 2009 8:00P
Caroline’s On Broadway (2 Shows) New York NY
Dec 6 2009 8:00P
Caroline’s On Broadway New York NY
Dec 12 2009 8:00P
Uptown Theater Kansas City MO
Dec 18 2009 8:00P
YMCA Boulton Center (2 Shows) Bay Shore NY
Dec 31 2009 8:00P
Hollywood Improv @ Hard Rock (2 Shows) Hollywood FL
Jan 1 2010 8:00P
Hollywood Improv @ Hard Rock Hollywood FL
Jan 2 2010 8:00P
Hollywood Improv @ Hard Rock (2 Shows) Hollywood FL
Jan 7 2010 8:00P
Addison Improv Addison TX
Jan 8 2010 8:00P
Addison Improv (2 Shows) Addison TX
Jan 9 2010 6:30P
Addison Improv (3 Shows) Addison TX
Jan 15 2010 9:00P
Music Box @ The Borgata Atlantic City NJ
Jan 16 2010 9:00P
Music Box @ The Borgata Atlantic City NJ
Jan 28 2010 7:30P
Funny Bone Comedy Club Richmond VA
Jan 29 2010 7:30P
Funny Bone Comedy Club (2 Shows) Richmond VA
Jan 30 2010 7:30P
Funny Bone Comedy Club (2 Shows) Richmond VA

Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

2009-2010 LIVE SHOWS  (view more)

ARTIE LANGE & JIM NORTON TO SHARE STAGE  (view more)

HBO Taping - Get Your Free Tickets  (view more)

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MY GOOD NAME  (view more)

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   Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Blurbs
About me:






Also available at: Barnes & Noble and Borders





















TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:Jim "The Carrier" Norton
Birthday:every day LOLOLOLLOL
Birthplace:dropped unceremoniously onto a bath mat during a coughing fit
Current Location:closer to a grammar school than allowed by law
Eye Color:bloody-stool brown
Hair Color:brown, speckled with thick, cakey dandruff
Height:tall enough to get on the rides at Coney Island
Right Handed or Left Handed:tug with my right, bag tickle with my left
Your Heritage:my Irish great-grandmother was teabagged by a Hun, which by default makes me a silly goose
The Shoes You Wore Today:patten leather with a buckle, like Shirley Temple used to wear
Your Weakness:an invalid laying sideways with her mouth open
Your Fears:that I will be overheard making the Yummy noise glancing at an older gentleman in a rest area men's room
Your Perfect Pizza:oven crusted with lightly seared placenta, covered with flamingo vomit
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:I'd like to stop needlessly kicking retarded people
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:"Your ass looks amazing in those diapers"
Thoughts First Waking Up:"Who is this strapping Negro?"
Your Best Physical Feature:my taint
Your Bedtime:10 minutes after my tranny movies end
Your Most Missed Memory:being face down in a pillow with whiskey being breathed into my face from the side by my uncle
Pepsi or Coke:hot dog water
MacDonalds or Burger King:MEAT IS MURDER!
Single or Group Dates:I prefer single dates and group scat parties
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:whatever kind Jim Jones drank
Chocolate or Vanilla:ice cream is for queers
Cappuccino or Coffee:ice lattes, because they help get the logs moving
Do you Smoke:only when babysitting
Do you Swear:yes, I frequently tell people to "buzz off" and "go jump in a lake"
Do you Sing:I tend to hum Lionel Ritchie songs while I'm being raped
Do you Shower Daily:I prefer to have dogs lick the sweat off my balls and neck
Have you Been in Love:never with a girl
Do you want to go to College:learning is for queers
Do you want to get Married:yes, to Laci Peterson
Do you believe in yourself:I didnt until my only Son was crucified by Pontius Pilot
Do you get Motion Sickness:only when riding fat girls
Do you think you are Attractive:yes, when compared with burn victims
Are you a Health Freak:I take my AZT cocktails every day
Do you get along with your Parents:I did until I killed them for insurance money
Do you like Thunderstorms:yes, because they cause youngsters to huddle under my covers
Do you play an Instrument:I play spoons and the rape whistle
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:no, but I've purchased it for minors
In the past month have you Smoked:a salmon and some almonds
In the past month have you been on :cialis
In the past month have you gone on a Date:do prostitutes count?
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:yes, to buy my grandmother an athletic supporter
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:why would I eat a box full of black people who act white?
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:no, but I store it in my girlfriends underpants
In the past month have you been on Stage:yes. In Mexico, with a donkey
In the past month have you been Dumped:yes, on my chest
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:twice in a kiddie pool
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:2 babies and a prosthetic testicle
Ever been Drunk:one night while driving Billy Martin home
Ever been called a Tease:a cancer patient once called me that while I dangled morphine over his face
Ever been Beaten up:on a playground by a group of concerned parents
Ever Shoplifted:I smuggled a gerbil out of the store without using my hands
How do you want to Die:I want to be sawed in half while felching Jack Klugman
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:Dominican drug lord
What country would you most like to Visit:Wyoming
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:black and blue
Favourite Hair Color:golf course green
Short or Long Hair:chemo whispy
Height:under 4 feet
Weight:75 pounds and willing to vomit
Best Clothing Style:torn off
Number of I have taken:what in Sam Hill does this question mean?
Number of CDs I own:3, all Huey Lewis
Number of Piercings:both nipples,but accidentally
Number of Tattoos:either a tear drop on the face or cartoon characters on her crotch
Number of things in my Past I Regret:5,679


Who I'd like to meet:
a retarded girl who can deep throat.

   Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Friend Space (Top 15)
Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602 has 61842 friends.
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Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602's Friends Comments
Displaying 25 of 20025 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
♥ Debbie ♥

♥  Debbie ♥



Dec 1 2009 11:22 AM

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The Discordian Society

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Nov 30 2009 6:07 PM

DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
Live @ The Mellow Mushroom
Asheville, NC
December 10th 9pm
John Elias

John Elias



Nov 30 2009 1:38 AM

Hey Yeeemi....can't wait to hear what you guys say about the UAE torture tape....
Kristin

Kristin



Nov 30 2009 12:12 AM

I'm so very excited about hearing you live in the morning. It's hard to contain myself. I'm going to run head first into a brick wall now. I suck.
Kat

Kat



Nov 29 2009 12:37 PM

Hey Jim,
Just curious how it went at the HukeLau? I wasn't able to go, but I was thinking about you. Hope you had a sell out crowd. I would have loved to have met you.
Sorry I missed it.
xox
Kat
Debbie -- There Are No Limits

Debbie -- There Are No Limits



Nov 29 2009 1:22 AM

passing through and leaving some love

Check out my column in ReVersed Ink Magazine

“Who Is . . . Nashawn Kearse” – Nashawn is an actor and a model, born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. He spent a season on Desperate Housewives, he’s been on Entourage and The Sopranos. He starred opposite Vanessa Williams in My Brother.

http://reversedink.widowswebb.net/rvi/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=143:who-is-nashawn-kearse&catid=76:who-is-&Itemid=3

Sharing knowledge and talent with the world.

Day-One

Day-One



Nov 29 2009 1:13 AM

How are you?

I'd like to thank you, for your continued friendship and support.
I have a lot going on, featured on a recent mix tape with Kid Cudi, a new single out called "Keep it one Hundred" on own album called "The Show: Season 1" and out of 23,000 I am number 63 in a competition to be signed by Akon.

Please take just a few minutes of your time, to vote and support the true essence of music, and I'll be sure to return that same support.


Here are some of the links to those projects.

http://www.hitlab.com/user/27212/day-one

http://www.coast2coastmixtapes.com/audiodetail.aspx?audioid=6760

http://www.coast2coastmixtapes.com/DJSite/mixtapes/mixtapedetail.aspx?mixtapeid=2081

It's the series premiere of "The Show: Season 1" Now airing. Make sure you get your personal copy, Episodes 1-12.

That's a 12 dollar value all yours for free

Free download

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=981137
RYAN

RYAN



Nov 28 2009 5:39 PM

'Lil Jimmy, you were AWESOME at the Hu Ke Lau last night!!! Thanks for the picture!!
๑۩۞۩๑㋛Whommie©®™㋛๑۩۞۩๑

Whommie Husosky-Goch



Nov 28 2009 9:28 AM

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MassageGirl

MassageGirl



Nov 28 2009 12:30 AM

Hey Jimmy how the hell are ya?
Lustmord

Lustmord



Nov 26 2009 10:19 PM

bitch
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Nov 26 2009 3:46 PM

Hey Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602,

Happy Thanksgiving!!

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Blue Dog And Sponge Cake

Blue Dog And Sponge Cake



Nov 26 2009 8:50 AM

Happy Thanksgiving!
Michael Anthony Delzoppo

Michael Delzoppo



Nov 26 2009 12:39 AM

Happy turkey day fucktard!
Rell Da Youngsta....MR.36-24-35

Rell Da Youngsta....MR.36-24-35



Nov 25 2009 10:05 PM

Wats Up Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602
Rell Da Youngsta Here Just Showin Luv
Christopher

Christopher Torres



Nov 24 2009 6:12 PM

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
ken

ken



Nov 24 2009 4:16 PM

pass the word. maxwell cancelled in cleveland. haha and punt!!!!
Sam

Sam



Nov 24 2009 7:27 AM

Damn, your Addison show is 21 up, I woulda brought 3-4 people with me, should have gone to your Houston show. Love you on O&A. You should book at Granada Theater, Jim Jefferies played there.
Chocolate anyone???

Denise Garner



Nov 23 2009 5:24 PM

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Fantasy

Fantasy



Nov 22 2009 9:02 PM

JUST WANNA SAY HI & HOPE UR OK........... HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!!! HAVE A GREAT ROCKIN WEEK!!!!!!!!!! HUGSSSSSSSSSSSS KISSSSSSSSSSSSES ALL MY LOVE 2 YA!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE FANTASY
RaИDoM

RaИDoM



Nov 22 2009 11:14 AM

touch me
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Nov 21 2009 6:00 PM

Hey Jim Norton - Call Jim (917) 267-2602,

Just stopping in to wish you an awesome weekend!!

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Tracy

Tracy



Nov 20 2009 10:03 PM

Hey Jim
Would love to see you live but dont fucking come to Fort Waste Of Time Indiana..It sucks here!
icfamilycharacter

icfamilycharacter



Nov 20 2009 3:57 PM

why not Englert Theatre Iowa City ... college town...?? Smiles pretty.
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