Hailing from the state of intoxication, theSPADES are not the only rock band with the name. Hell, they're not even the only rock band called theSPADES made up of black band members. They are, however, the only band called theSPADES with band members who have crimal records, gun permits and a history violence due to drug abuse and..........hmmmm.......I guess "circumstance" is the word I'm looking for. All negatives aside, I'm sure when you crack open these tunes you'll feel more than comfortable agreeing with others who call themselves fans. Fans like star of stage and screen Jake Steed who says "If it weren't for theSPADES, I never would've bought that Honda!!!". Or triple-platnum recording artist Toby Keith who's said on more than one occation "If it weren't for all the got'damned SPADES taking all the jobs and fuckin' all the white women this might be a half decent country for a man to live in!! WHITE POWER!!!"
Yes, many americans are finding it clear that theSPADES spell doom for the youth of today and they're doing not a thing to stop it. Stunt Guitarist JoeNoize, who has a warrent for his arrest in Oaklahoma for feeding seamen to a Catholic, stood in the defence of his band of brothers yesterday saying "....yeah, I know if I wasn't on shrooms I'd know you're not the devil but, I am so, can I have a cigarette?" following the comment with ".....I gotta hard-on for yahtzee somthin' awful!!" yes joe, you sure do. and for that matter so does drummer and 5time hotdog eating world champion Chris Macklin who was quoted yesterday stating "..........I sold Joe's black ass a quater pound of portobella mushrooms for 3bills and his girlfriend and told him they were "magic"lololol.......now I can aford that desert eagle!! you know, for fashion" Looking good Chris, fight the good fight. Rounding out the band is Nick: a self discribed queen of the junkies who spends his spare time all keyed up on meth and jerking off looking at the mirror. Tell us Nick, were do you gentle'men find inspiration?
Nick: I think I speak for all three of us when I say Maroon-5. Yeah ya'see this whole thing is part of a grand sceme to A.become rockstars. B.move to L.A. C.meet Maroon-5 and rape them. Have ya seen'em? ah, they're gorgeous. they're lead singers got lips like a little pink rose. I could ride that mouth to freedom!!!
There you have it people. A testiment to rock, theSPADES are three men with guns who drive the highway to hell with one destination in mind: FRIED CHICKEN!!
This Sunday we will be at Fast, Cheap and Out of Control selling tickets for the 7th Annual Philly Pirate Cruise!
Come Dressed as a pirate and get in free, then buy your tix, and see the best in pro-am rock and roll go go dancing! HELL YEAH! Or should I say, "HELLS YARRRRRGH!"
Remember folks tix are $55 in advance, $60 the day of the cruise, and get you beer, rum punch, a huge buffet, The Young Werewolves and 2 DJs, PLUS 3 hours of cruising the Delaware on a beautiful giant yacht, and several more hours of partying dockside!
(I HIGHLY recommend buying tix in advance, to guarantee you get aboard!)
