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The following message came from Ray and his words say more about addiction than anything I've ever seen...
Please read them...Aloha, Buddy
Hi...
I'm Ray. I should have known Matt and probably Buddy too. But years ago, I got my immature feelings hurt in the music business. I was a young 20 year old kid and we all know where we were mental at that age.
I went off the deep end. Already touring at a young age and made aware of the illicitness available to me. I went so many steps further then that though. I ran from everything, everyone and mostly myself. It was only me that would constantly show up and again, ruin the lucid trust of my parents, friends and family.
Until finally all dignity, respect and hope were lost. I have a blur from 1987 until around 1994. Which I served in the Navy, fathered a child, got married, divorced and married again. Only to ruin it all. I spent from 1994 ‘til 1998 clean and sober. Then only short burst of time.
All I ever really wanted was to continue on up the ladder in the music business. It was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. They understood me it seemed. But too well and for my young age I'm sure more than once my naiveté was taken for granted. I excelled and was good at all facets, guitar tech, lighting, drums, sound. All of it...
I crashed hard again and in 2001 with all the physical ugliness that an addiction could offer one person...I was every bit of it. Track marks on both arms, clothes that I'd acquired from inmates in Baltimore City Jail and living at the corner of a major intersection eating out of a trash can.
I was an eyesore to passers by I'm sure, a disgrace to humanity. But yet I was someone’s son, brother, nephew, grandson and maybe even someone’s friend. I realized somewhere inside of all of my hurt, pain and self-loathing that I had to matter for something. It was time to stop figuring out what that matter of something was and to join the living once again.
I faltered one more time and luckily I've been clean and sober since February 27th, 2002. I have managed to live with a felony as a result of my addiction, I still don't have a passport which I dread. But in 2004 I got an opportunity to do a reunion concert for an old 80's hair metal band. I was a suit and tie wearing, 9-5 guy and didn't think anything other than reminiscing would come about.
Thankfully the phone rang several months later and the door opened up. Mind you I'm 43 years old and I have a family now that understands. I found out about Matt through a mutual friends, bands myspace page. I was fortunate enough to meet and become friends with Jon Miller from DevilDriver. While searching his tour date on the bands page I read the blog.
My reason for writing you is simple. I know very little about what Matt did with his life. Again it may be another six degrees of separation type of thing, but who knows. I know this, I was born on January 22, 1966 a birthday shared with your beloved son. I just wanted to say thank you.
Thank you, through your healing, heavy hearts you have reminded me that I cannot lose sight that for an addict of any kind, I must be vigilant over my addiction. As an addict, my life isn't easy to forecast like that of a normal person. Simplicity is the key and for my success in survival it must be forecast on a moment by moment basis if I am to survive.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss, I wish I would have known him better or at all to have helped him. Over these last few years back in the music business, I have been approached by numerous musicians asking me how I did "it". Later only to ask for help.
Its my lot in life... I love the music business and I help anyone...day, night, weekend, with or without family, in a suit & tie or in jeans.
I'm so sad to hear of your loss. Addiction is such a cruel disease, its the only disease that tells us we don't have it. Then crudely removes us from the world of joy from folks like yourself.
May the god of your understanding bless you and keep you.
Matthew James Webster "Matt Blaze" "Matt Webster" "Webs"
was born in Ames Iowa to proud Parents Buddy and Joyce on
January 22, 1978. His father went on to become well known in the music community for his handmade guitars for the stars and for his famous guitar designs. Matt grew up surrounded by the worlds most famous artists and was universally loved by all of them. Along the way, Matt fell in love with Sarah L. and they brought his beautiful son Evan into the world. That was 8 (and 1/2...) years ago. Matt was a computer prodigy and helped those within his reach. Matt also often helped Mom and Dad make Buddy Blaze guitars and Ukuleles in their shop in Kailua Kona, HI. Matt spent the last years of his life on the Big Island where he could be found on the beaches, snorkeling, canoeing, sailing and enjoying the gifts that come with living in Hawai'i...
Matt also suffered with the disease of addiction. He spent more than 6 months of the last year of his life in residential treatment...
He fought this disease with all he (and we...) had. He actually spent the last 3 days of his life volunteering and encouraging others with their struggles...
Matt was an all American boy that was the center of his parents life...
Matt lost his struggle with addiction and died on March 2nd, 2009.
This site begins to tell Matt's story. Joyce and Buddy will start an official website very soon and will also create a foundation in his memory and honor to help others deal with the struggles of this horrible disease...
Please help us tell Matt's story and help others...
Thanks and aloha!
Buddy Blaze
I would like to share with you something I was moved to write::
I hope you are doing great my friends... and i hope you are copeing with MJ's flight into the heavens.... We are all sadden and hurt.. but we must keep the faith.. as Michael Says, and keep going and show how he has touched our lives. I'am proud to be a Michael Jackson Fan...from the beginning to the end.. i have never lost faith in Mike and i never will... Please allow me to walk beside Michael and be like a shadow to him... I'am happy that individuals feel that i sound like him,, and remind them of his sweet voice... But there is only one Michael Jackson, and their will never be another... He's a icon of epic porportions... I'am glad to of been the generation that got to see him up close and witness his magic... I'am always thinking of you Michael day and night.. and i only hope you are looking down on us, and never leave us alone....for we are not alone... You have givin us the opportunity to see the limits of Gods power when he bless someone with a Gift... You are surely a work of Art, a Masterpiece that is glorious to behold. Your entire body would execute moves that would boggle the mind... and dazzle one's eyes. How can we not watch you when you are in your Zone.
Thanks for the add & support, MJW 5150!! We play YOUR requests!! Send us your music and let us know what you want to hear! Hard rock & Metal 24/7!! New Music, Interviews & MORE! www.igradioshow.com
Hope you had a great Halloween!!GREAT TO BE PART OF YOUR SPACE!!!!!One of our favorite SPACE'S on THE SPACE!! In our myspace videos,check out our Halloween video we just released from our sold out show Sat. Oct. 31 with costume mix at the end, they where all there Ace Frehley, Freddie Mercurey Peter Criss, Rob Zombie and more!!!!!
and if you have not seen our video from the Sammy Hagar Birthday Bash check it out, or if you have i think its worth a second veiw!!!!SAMMY REALLY ROCKED~ THE CABO WABO CANTINA ~this year!!
ALL THE BEST and Have a great WEEKEND!! your friend JIMMY for SOUND COLLISION~Vancouver~Canada
How are you ? Me I'm again in heaven...I was in Lille (France) wednesday 04 to see VIRUS IV...It's a band with Magali Luyten and Samuel Arkan. Go to my page myspace and listen the music...It's them !
Bye and don't hestitate to talk to me, ok ? Kiss.
Mike
Comment vas tu ? Moi je suis encore dans les nuages. J'y ai fait un bond mercredi 04 au soir... J'ai vu VIRUS IV à Lille...Trop bien je t'assure ! C'est un goupe avec Magali Luyten et Samuel Arkan. Ecoute le titre sur ma page, c'est VIRUS IV, çà te donnera une idée. Allez, n'hésites pas à me causer ! Biz.
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