Should've never taken the time, 'cause I found myself living a lonely lie. You said you left to find yourself, but I never ... no, I never got the chance to say goodbye.
Male
25 years old
Cedar Grove, New Jersey
United States
Rush | Styx | Yes | Bad4Good | Billy Joel | Thelonius Monk | Soundgarden | Disturbed | The Dave Brubeck Quartet | Led Zeppelin | Green Day | Puddle of Mudd | Buddy Guy | Me First and the Gimme Gimmes | Stevie Ray Vaughn | Alan Jackson | Johnny Cash | SMiLE.dk | Authority Zero | Jimmy Buffet | Naoki | Wall of Voodoo | Blind Melon | Rhapsody | The Allman Brothers Band | Boston | Chicago | Kansas | Cyndi Lauper | :wumpscut: | Zeromancer | Brother Cane | Cry of Love | Jackson Browne | The Jimi Hendrix Experience | Atom and His Package | Cream | Derek & the Dominoes | Warren Zevon | Talking Heads | David Byrne | Dream Theater | Emerson, Lake & Palmer | Gentle Giant | The Strawbs | The Doobie Brothers | Frank Zappa & the Mothers of Invention | Gin Blossoms | Spin Doctors | Head Automatica | Neal Morse | Foreigner | Journey | Burzum | Aerosmith | Van Halen | MxPx | Reel Big Fish | Rage Against the Machine | Shady View Terrace | The Eagles | The Beatles | The Police | Toad the Wet Sprocket | Van Morrison | Sublime | Polaris | Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet | Mayhem | Joe Walsh | Don Henley | Himsa | Wolfsheim | Lenny Kravitz | My Chemical Romance | Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart | Pink Floyd | TaQ | Stephen Lynch | Toto | Save Ferris | Less Than Jake | Oysterhead | Maroon 5 | Group X | Jazon Mraz | Jethro Tull | Slayer | Tool | Marian McPartland | Little Feat | The Black Crowes | Pizzicato Five | B.B. King | Papaya | Bambee | Duke Ellington | Count Basie | Crosby, Stills & Nash | Neil Young | Elvis Costello | Avenged Sevenfold | Refused | Hyperactive | Red Rover | Lanemeyer | River City High | Scarebears | P.T. Grimm | The Minibosses | Sisters of Mercy | Schoolly D | Yo Yo Ma | Toploader | State of Revolution
Movies
Donnie Darko | A Clockwork Orange | Clerks | Arthur | Rushmore | Requiem for a Dream | My Favorite Year | How High | Wayne's World | Freaked | American Beauty | Wayne's World 2 | Mallrats | Akira | Blue Velvet | Ghost in the Shell | Slayers: the Motion Picture | Princess Mononoke | Legend of Lemnear | Galaxy Express .999 | The Guyver | Guyver II: Dark Hero | Berry Gordy's The Last Dragon | Mortal Kombat | The Lion in Winter | Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events | The Mask | Ace Ventura: Pet Detective | Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls | Guy: Awakening of the Devil | Billy Madison | Happy Gilmore | Anger Management | The Shining | Alien | The Lost Boys | Stop Making Sense | The Silence of the Lambs | Pygmalion | Jaws | Death to Smoochy | Renaissance Man | Batman | Batman Returns | Pulp Fiction | The Hunted | Beetlejuice | Reservoir Dogs | The Princess Bride
Television
Comedy Central Presents | Robot Chicken | The Colbert Report | The Daily Show with Jon Stewart | Aqua Teen Hunger Force | MadTV | Saturday Night Live | The Soup | The Surreal Life | Jackass | The Fairly Oddparents | Rocko's Modern Life | The Adventures of Pete and Pete | Mystery Science Theater 3000
Books
Anything that holds my interest. I'll crack open anything you throw at me at least once.
Fourteen (14) years of experience with set drums and various percussion (congas, timbales, etc.); skilled in various styles, ranging from punk and alternative rock to blues and funk, and everything in between.
About me:
There's not a thing I can't do, and not a reason I won't. You're here because you need something, and you know as well as I do that in these trying times if you need anything at all - a crutch of wood, a stitch of thread; marrow of bone, flesh of heart; or perhaps, just even something as simple as a tiny glimmer of hope.
Is it riches you seek? You'll not find it here, I'm afraid; all I can offer you is a few coins to get you by. Even so, I will ensure that you'll make your rent, even if I myself cannot. Perhaps, though, it is not room and board you require? Just something more along the lines of communication, the ability to always be able to get in touch with those you need? Well, though I do find myself directly before you, I understand that I may not be the only required entity. I will help you reach those that you alone cannot.
Is it something deeper than that, my leige? Do you seek assistance in finding the reparation of a love gone wrong, a severed bond betwixt you and a sacred other? If I cannot repair the damage done on either side, then it cannot be repaired. Friend or lover, sibling or confidant, I mend wounds as time does, without the business of delay.
I cannot fix my own problems. I cannot improve my own situation. I can only succeed where you have failed, and only on your behalf. My tears fall so yours need not. My blood spills so your cheeks remain full of color. I end so you may begin. I will allow myself to be punctured with bullets and blades, slings and arrows, so you may remain unscathed, and when all has been said and all has been done, I vanish before my influence is even noticed, let alone appreciated.
I find myself to be one of those fools who acts happy-go-lucky most of the time and broods silently. I feel like I'm growing up to fast; and yet, it seems as if life is passing me by. I wonder sometimes if I've been wasting my time, doing everything I do for everyone, and maybe I should just wipe the slate clean and start anew. It never ceases to amaze me how empty my bed feels when I wake up some nights and the only body in it is mine; no arms to wrap 'round me, no head to lay pon my chest ... it is cold and dull, like a thud from the blunt end of a knife-handle, when I awaken these nights. The same feeling emanates from within in groups; oddly, I do so well in them, but I often feel that my childlike rapport and banter make me appear less intelligent than I am, and thus I am not taken so seriously by my peers.
Perhaps, I ramble, perhaps I simply bitch and moan. Nonetheless, you are here ... how kind of you to take your time and swing by for a brief greeting.
Despite how much I may complain about those who take and take from me without giving back so much as appreciation or gratitude, I often wonder if there would be any reason for me to be, if not for them. I often wish I could be the heartless leech sometimes, taking whatever I want and usurping the life and humanity out of everyone I come in contact with; I suppose, in my own ways, I do ... rather, I don't intend to.
To cut to the chase, I am, in many ways, just like every other dysfunctional, self-effacing, silly, miserable, excitable, thoughtful, imaginatively romantic individual out there ... I frequently find myself wanting to curl up and vanish, and yet, something keeps me social, keeps me active, keeps me in the game. It's ironic, because silently, I often feel like the leprous jester; funny and fun to have around, but no one person dare lay their hands upon him.
Sometimes, I don't know if I want to know what it is that keeps me going just to know, or just to let it go.
My name is Michael, and I am the Disappearing Boy.
AIM¹ - Sentient Glow | AIM² - Part of Tomorrow | MSN - albaxcore@hotmail.com | Yahoo! - thunderousdrums
Who I'd like to meet: I don't know. Quite frankly, I don't know whom (or what) I'd like to meet at this point. I think, more than anything, I'd like to meet someone different. Not different because they've got a ton of piercings or tattoos or wear bizarre vestments...someone different because they are intelligent, fun-loving, and caring. I want to meet someone who hasn't forgotten what chivalry and compassion mean. I want to meet someone open-minded and well-cultured. Someone who, though may not share all of my interests, won't shun them without regard or understanding, and will appreciate them as I will appreciate theirs.
Most of all, though, I wish to meet someone honest and faithful. I am long tired of being led along journeys only to end up the hapless bystander of someone else's cruel joke or game. I have been led on and lied to so many times, and there is no space in my life for said bullshit, or even bullshit in general.
I feel like a fish on the shore; starved for air, helpless to be anything but a meal for passers-by. Please ... someone, save me from this feeling.
If you wish to speak in my general direction, go ahead. I cannot promise I will talk back, as I have trouble believing anything anyone says at all these days. Call me bitter, call me heartless ... or, do not call at all. I am only what others have made me, so do not waste my time. Or, you could just leave me a comment.
So, enough of my whiny shit. Here's a good cause you ought to consider.
The time is here! Our second single 'Beautiful Illusion' will be
released on July 1st! Make sure to get it, you won't want to miss
out. Also, don't forget to sign up for our mailing list so we can keep
you updated on all the news and releases!
I drop you a line to tell you that some copies of The Field Where She Died, my first album, are still available, but stocks won't last... Only 150 copies left...
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Online Now!
