the last thing i remember is that I took a Jet Blue red eye flight... I actually had red eyes while I was on the flight... The red eyes can be attributed to mendoza who took me out drinking before the flight... I was sitting in the emergency exit row and after we boarded the plane... the pilot came up to me and said "sir do you realize you are seated in the emergency exit row?" i said "yes of course." he said "in the unlikely event of an emergency... are you going to be able to perform your duties, i know that you have had some drinks tonight and are feeling inebriated ..." I said "listen buddy... if this bird goes down, i'm your best man.... i'll save us all in the unlikely event of a crash." He moved me to the front of the aircraft and told me that I was lucky to still be on board the plane. It was totally bogus... I slept most of the flight until I woke up half way through and was freezing... apparently these days... a blanket and pillow cost $7.00 on a plane. Get real... remember when that was free? I froze for the remainder of the flight. I arrived in New York City on March 4th @ 6:30 am... I took a subway and couple weeks later... here I am... making a greek salad and listening to neutral milk hotel on vinyl. i still don't have a job but I slowly feel my creative ambition returning... internet dating is awesome and probably will be the end of me... older women are sweet and when you're 22... dating someone who is 34 will change your life. then again... im sure at some point around age 45... dating a 22 year old is pretty awesome... im still 26 so the range is quite vast... spanning from 21 to 45.... wow... yea... it's true.. at least i can be honest with myself. i think everyone should write at least one book in their life... are you working on yours? you don't need to publish it... but make sure you give a copy to each of your children... if you don't have any children then your spouse and friends will appreciate it... i most certainly guarantee it.... and don't hold anything back in the book... make sure you are completely honest and tell everyone what you really think of them.... even if it involves one of your best friends on tour in lawrence kansas and it results in you standing with all your possessions in trash bags... only two days before the tour is over and you would be back at home... and not even taking five minutes to ask you what happened. it's cool... at least schey and toco had my back. maybe you spend the night @ jackie beckers house... and book a flight back to arizona the next day. im sure that everyone learned from the situation... and when the story is finally told from a 30,000 foot view of your whole life and relationships... everyone gets theirs in the end... everybody must give something back for something they get....
then maybe you land on a farm in mississippi.... living life... flying planes, picking cotton, falling in love with civil war and life in the slow lane... but file for bankruptcy... give away the american dream of owning your own home... yet hand it over to the mother of one of your best friends children.... who in turn doesn't pay for it and robs you.... robs you blind... steals your best friends bed, all your appliances and doesn't make one payment for the place. to add insult to injury... she left town... took your friends child with her... and hasn't ever attempted to contact you... that what happens when you have a static management problem. i guess my credit has taken a severe blow. but you don't seem to care because you threw all your shit in storage and booked a one way ticket to new york.
The last thing I remember before that was that I passed out on a pontoon boat. When I woke up, the captain asked me if I caught any fish and I told him that I hadn't. I said I had been cursed since the chiggers started biting me. He understood completely. I proceeded to tell him the secrets of Italian cooking and he got offended with my accent. A doctor told him he had 230 days to live and I didn't know how to respond. So instead, I changed the subject to global climate change and he shut up real fast. 4 days later I wound up in a poker game in Tunica. I lost my shirt and almost married a Mexican woman from the northeast. She told me that my mother would love her but I slipped out in the middle of the night and told her I was going to get some Q-tips from the gift shop because I'm just not myself if my ears aren't clean. I bought 2 creamsicles ice pops and headed out on highway 49. I almost ran out of gas and decided I needed some sunglasses. I got fuel and met a man named "Horse." I drove caravan style with him all the way to Iowa. He left me at a truck stop but I knew where he was going. I couldn't follow him anymore. Then I met some Morman kids on a mission from Utah. They told me that the Jews aren't actually the chosen ones and we can all make our own destiny and write our own story. I almost believed them but I got sick and ended up at a hotel. After lots of heavy lifting I decided that furniture and cinder blocks just weren't for me. Food poisoning and adults just don't mix. At this point in time I was so blinded by science and just couldn't find the truth. I can't wait to get the test results back from my T-cell count and hopefully it won't be as bad as everyone is making it out to be. Grilled cheese and the constitution just don't mix on a tuesday night in clarksdale. I'm writing a book, writing songs, and chasing my dreams...
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Muzz - 1. The stubble on a pubic area, left after not having been shaved for a week.
2. a state of mind where the affected is unnaturally unaware of his surroundings
3. n. the substance secreted by a vagina at the height of orgasm during intercourse; usually in combination with a seizgasm v. the act of secreting muzz
4. someone who sucks the enjoyment out of any situation. Can also refer to the sucking sound of people's enjoyment leaving them.
5. to lose control of one's bladder, to pee yourself, piss your panties, urinate the bed
6. white trash
7. one who excels at farting, perving and is always on the look out for a good M.I.L.T.F
8. Someone who borrows money even though they have some. Someone who smokes your weed even though they have some. Someone who drinks your drink even if they one.
Shuffle off to Buffalo! Glad to know you're doing well Muzz. Miss you and hope to hear from you sometime! Enjoy life and we are here if you need anything!
