Join us for our Happy Hour!
On Monday through Friday from 7pm to 9pm, O'Neary's Pub would like to help you relax and enjoy our atmosphere with special drink prices. That's 2 hours of discounted drinking for our thirsty patrons ever day of the week!
Beer Specials by the pint:
$2.50 Domestic
$3.00 Import
Wine Specials by the glass - $2.75
Mixed Drink Specials:
$2.50 rail cocktails
$1.00 off all other drinks
We also have priced our rail cocktails at $3.00 for a limited time so stop by and enjoy one or two!
Just as you would expect from an Irish Pub. O'Neary's has a great selection of fine Irish spirits. From the names you already know like Bailey's, Jameson, and Guinness to the ones you may not such as Bushmills, Irish Car Bombs, Irish Pub Bartender, Irish Sunset, and Irish Iced Teas, O'Neary's has something to suit your tastes. Give it a try, ask for an Irish drink next time you're in - set that budweiser aside for a moment please!
Television
Books
JOKES Magic Beer Bottle
A man walks into a bar and sits down, noticing a very little man about a foot tall playing a tiny grand piano.
"That is amazing! How is that possible?" he questioned the bartender.
The bartender, poured the man a drink and said "Here, I rubbed the magic beer bottle and a genie popped out. He said he'd grant me one wish...and here this little guy is...playing away."
The man rubbed the bottle, and sure enough, a genie came out.
"I shall grant you any wish you want."
The man says "Wow...Ok. I wish I had a million bucks."
**POOF!!**
All of a sudden there are a million ducks everywhere!
The man says "What the hell? This isn't what I asked for!"
The bartender says, "Yeah, you're tellin me. You think I wished for a 12 inch pianist?"
Traditions
An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please." So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one." The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together. The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died." The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine----I just quit drinking." Drink to That
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '81." "This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '81, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's new?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again." The Truth About St. Patrick
An Irish man is sittin in a pub one night when 3 Englishmen walked in. The men sit down, and start to talk about how they can anger the Irishman... The first man says, "Watch this..." He gets up, walks over to the Irishman, and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot." The Irishman just replies, "Oh, is that so now?" The Englishman, goes back to his seat perplexed, when his friend jumps up and says, "Here, lemme try that." So he goes over to the Irishman and says, "Hey man, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite faggot!" The Irishman only replies, "Oh, is that so now?" So the Englishman, frustrated goes and sits down with his friends. When the 3rd Englishman jumps up and says, "Well, now, I gotta try that!" So he walks over to the Irishman ans says, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was an ENGLISHMAN!"
And the Irishman replies, "Aye, that's what your friends were sayin." Jar of Olives
McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.
"S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing," said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives." Drunk in Public
The local District Judge had given the defendant a lecture on the evils of drink. But in view of the fact that this was the first time the man had been drunk and incapable, the case was dismissed on payment of ten shillings costs. "Now don't let me ever see your face again," said the Justice sternly as the defendant turned to go. "I'm afraid I can't promise that, sir," said the released man. "And why not?"
"Because I'm the barman at your regular pub!"
Beer Fest
After the Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.
The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
"Drink is a curse," proclaimed the Irish Priest. "It makes you quarrel with your neighbour, and shoot at your landlord….and miss…"
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been
run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his
face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp.
"What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
"Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you,
he must have had something in his hand."
"That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible
lickin' he gave me with it."
"Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you
have something in your hand?"
"That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of
beauty it was, but useless in a fight."
Letters From Home
To my darling husband,
Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.
I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt
when it bumped into your car.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife.
XOXOXO
P.S. Your girlfriend called.
Karaoke on weekends! Poker ~n~ Pints on Sunday Nights!
ONearysPub's Companies
O'Neary's Irish Pub Brainerd, Minnesota US ~*~It is that great little spot on the corner!*~* .::You can hangout with your friends and enjoy yourselves::.
St. Patty's Day is fast approachin! O'Neary's Irish Pub is your festivities HeadQuarters! St. Patrick's Day starts at 1PM on the 17th. Float goes around downtown Brainerd. Drink Specials and lotsa Irish Spirit to be enjoyed inside the pub! Let's Rock those Shamrocks!
We be havin GREEN BEER and lotsa Irish Iced Teas today!!!
