Peter Facinelli

   
A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant.
 Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.

Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Ohh no, My husband just walked in the door."



please click pictures



Signs That You are Too Drunk.

 You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

Your job is interfering with your drinking.

Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alchohol stream.

Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.

The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.

You sincerely believe alchohol is the elusive 5th food group.

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? I think not!

Two hands and just one mouth.. - now THAT'S a drinking problem!

You can focus better with one eye closed.

The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.

You fall off the floor..

Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!

Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.

At AA meetings you begin: 'Hi my name is.. uh..'

Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed.

The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in..

You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alchohol, and [Women or Men].

Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.

Roseanne looks good.

Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.

That damned pink elephant followed me home again.

I'm as sober as a judge.

The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.

You wake up screaming 'TORO TORO TORO!' in the middle of the night.


Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

a Zebaroo


A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
 Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
 After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home.
She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor.
"Getting a second opinion!"

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home.
He had finished the book by the time he reached his house.
The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said, "From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you're going to draw me my bath so I can relax. And when I'm finished with my bath, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"

"The funeral director," said his wife.


http://youtu.be/t7Y0I91rubg

Seen in my local paper's "readers sales" section.

FOR SALE BY OWNER,
Complete set of encyclopaedia Britannica.
45 Volumes. Excellent condition.
£1000 pounds or best offer.
Reason for sale:-
 No longer required.
Got married last weekend.

Wife knows F**king everything.

HAVE A VERY AWESOME NIGHT MY DEAR FRIEND!
HUGS ALWAYS,
WOLF

 
A smile for you dear friend!
 
please click pictures


http://youtu.be/k1WWXAk8qOo

Yeah, I know I'm ugly... I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said 'God beat me to it.'

I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!


I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!

I tell ya, sex is getting harder all the time. Me and my wife were trying to have sex for hours last night and I finally gave up. I asked her,
 "what, you can't think of anybody either?


One night I came home. I figured, let my wife come on. I'll play it cool. Let her make the first move. She went to Florida.

What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper 4 times - 3 while I was reading it

For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.

Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking.
 I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H.

Have a beautiful Monday night and Tuesday my dear friend!
Hugs,WOLF


At a hospital looking through the window at the newly arrived babies. Father says, “Kitchy kitchy koo”.
 Look, she smiled! Isn’t she adorable?”
His friend says, “But your kid didn’t smile.”
The father replies, “I was talking about the nurse”

 
stopping in with a smile
for you!

please click pictures

I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake. He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."

What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!

Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I'm a dog."
 He told me to get off his couch.

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff

I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum!

The other day, I got back from a business trip. I got in a cab and said to the driver, "Hey! Take me to where the action is!"
So ya know where he took me?
 He took me to my house!

Have a super night and a fantastic Monday!
hugs,WOLF

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hey peter! I think that you are really hott! also in twilight.If you would like we should chat on facebook sending me a friend request first,and please e-mail me at amandajeanne35@hotmail.com  

Loved Luca's Video!!!! ;)

hey peter i love ture blood to  you should watch that one  you will love it.trust me

hey peter love the breaking dawn two the best .you were great in it .

Hey Peter. You guys did an amazing job in BD 0part 2. 

 hi