Omnipotently, Andrew

hope you had a good trip and got home safe. love ya!

1/3 of Democrats believes that Pres. Bush had prior knowledge of the 9/11 attacks... Which is a absurd sentence, because it contains the words "Bush" and "Knowledge." 

I got really depressed the other day when I heard the following.

congratulations.

shouldn't you be sleepin already? jk
just got home a little while ago from work. hope your doin good. see you real soon! Love Ya!

Andrew David,

Apologies for not responding earlier this week when I received your invitation. As much I would like to be present at your graduation. I must rspectfully and shamefully declined. I have nor will I be able to acquired appropriate funds for such a travel to Berkely at this time. I, here In Idaho, wish you nothing but the best in all of your future endeavors. I wish you a joyous graduation and, of course, a gorgeous sunset to end what should be considered, at least, a good day. You cannot imagine the amount of admiration and personal pride that I have in you, as a my friend.

-Alexander V.P.N. Martinez

p.s. That invite card was awesome! I can picture what your wedding invitation card would be like. The same pose, with your arm around a girl whose face cut off the page. That'll be tight. lol see ya

Happy Valentines Day! I know its a waste of a holiday but just had to say it to you.
Have a good weekend!

Hey next time your at borders or barnes&nobel and you got an extra $13.95 (+ tax) burning a hole in your pocket. I got a book for you to read. Its in the humor section, entitled Death: a Life with George Pendle. As you’ve might of guess it’s a memior from Death. the back flap describes him as the following; Death was born in Hell, the only son of Satan and Sin. He was educated in the palace of Pandemonium and the Garden of Eden. Since before the Dawn of Time, he has ushered souls into the darkness of enterinty. This is his first book.

And just in case that did not wet your appetite, here’s an excerpt from the book.

“You may at this point be wondering just how it was that Mother, Father, and I knew the names of all these creatures, having just arrived on Earth. Well, each animal, vegetable, and mineral, on Earth had a laminated card attached to it. On this laminated card was typed the phrase HI, I’M... with the creature’s name spelled out beneath it. Of course, such a system had its problems. many of the smaller creatures could not move because they were weighed down by the cards attach to them, and a great number of the cards became lost or mixed up. I have it on good source that ‘bananas’ were originally meant to be called “cycloparaffin,” but Father must have swithed the cards without anyone noticing. Once the wrong card had been worn for any amount of time, the name stuck... By my second day on Earth I was disconsolate and had retreated to a cavern and enveloped myself in the comforting embrace of the darkness I was blissfully doing absolutley nothing when I heard the sound of grunting coming from a small copse opposite the cave entrance. I crept over to investigate, curious as to what new horrors my parents might be instigating, but was greeted by the sight of two very strange-looking creatures. At first I thought they were angels, or devils, but they were much smaller and had no wings.
Instead they had large protuberant brows that lent them the air of

immense stupidity that I would soon find out was throughly justified. It was my first sighting of humans.

The two creatures, who were seated before a large mound of laminated name tags, seem to be engaged in a fierce debate.
‘Me Adam,’ said the larger, hairierone of the two, whom I took as to be the male, attaching a card that read ADAM on his chest, before jabbing his finger at the other. ‘She Adam.’
‘No,’ grunted the smaller, less hairy one. She attached a card to herself that read BRACHIOSAUR. ‘Me Eve,’ she said, before pointing her finger at the other. ‘You Eve.’
‘No!’ retorted the large one. ‘Me Adam. You Adam’
‘No!’ rejoined the smaller one, pointing at herself. ‘You Eve. Me Eve’ This went on for some time.
Evetually I pluck up the courage to introduce myself. ’Hello. I’m Death. Wonderful day isn‘t it?’they looked at me uncomprehendingly, then at their pile of laminated cards, and then back to me.
‘You Adam?’ said the male one.
‘No. You Eve,’ said the female one.
They looked at each other and suddenly began pulling out each other’s hair. They fought for a bit, and before I knew it they had begun rutting on the floor of me. I stood there amazed. I learned later that humans had been created out of dust. it showed. It was hardly a suprise to me that they would go on to eat the Forbidden Fruit. They ate everything–– apples, leaves, bark, grass, each other’s feces. They were repulsive creatures.
Just as I was musing on what I could possible get them to do that they werent already doing, an incredibly bright org of light filled the sky above me. I had never seen such a intense brightness before... It seemed to cut straight through me and sent the Darkness scamperingback into the cave. Of course I knew instantly that this was God, because the light had on a large laminated badge that read HI I’M... GOD. I hid behind a shrub.
‘Adam,’ boomed a voice as loud as any I had ever heard.
‘Me Adam?’ responded the female.
‘No, you’re Eve, my dear,’ boomed God.

‘Me Eve,’ interjected the male.
‘No. No. You’re Adam!’ boomed God in frustration. ‘Anyway, how are things? Do you like the place?’
‘Er...,’ said Adam and Eve.
‘Well look, I don’t have much time,’ boomed God, ‘but I don’t want you to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, all right?’
‘Er...’
‘That’s the big green one over there.’
‘Er...’
‘The one with the big laminated card on it reading TREE OF KNOWLEDGE.’
‘Er...’
‘I just planted it the other day,’ God boomed. ‘It’s over there and I think it really pulls the garden together.’ The light pointed to its right, or rather it seemed to point to its right because orbs of light can’t really point. Nevertheless, it made it perfectly clear that despite being completely round, it was favoring one directio over another. Such are the privileges of divinity.
‘Er...’
‘Because you’ve already eaten my Bush of Anticipation.’
‘Er...’
‘And I really wanted to see how that would turn out.’
‘Er...’
‘So don’t touch it!’ God paused. He cleared His throat. He boomed, ‘For in the day that thou eatest thereof shalt surely die... or something.’
‘You Adam?’ ventured Adam, shading his eyes with his hand.
’I separated the light from the darkness for this?’"