Writing (Read my books!)
Reading
Sword Fighting
Watching TV
Using the Computer
Nintendo
Magic: The Gathering
Learning (But not school!)
Thinking Thinking! Thinking!! THINKING!!!
Music
U2
REM
System of a Down
Flogging Molly
Rammstein
Hans Zimmer
Howard Shore
John Williams
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Rock
Movie Soundtracks
Classical
Oldies
Alternative
Celtic Music
Dance
Basically, anything except Rap and Hip-Hop.
Movies
Television
The Simpsons...duh! Arrested Development The Office 60 Minutes Family Guy Fullmetal Alchemist I Love Lucy The Amazing Race Jeopardy!
Books
The Tapping Wand, Andrew Schnorr (Read it!) Magic: the Gathering: The Brother's War, Jeff Grubb
Anything by Isaac Asimov The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories, H.P Lovecraft
Heroes
Bono
This man has done so much to help the world, both in his music and in his actions, that he has gained my respect. Besides being an excellent singer, he does not use his fame for selfish purposes, but rather to bring world awareness to the problems we face. Rock on, Bono, rock on!
"Every era has its defining struggle and the fate of Africa is one of ours. It's not the only one, but in the history books it's easily going to make the top five, what we did or what we did not do. It's a proving ground, as I said earlier, for the idea of equality. But whether it's this or something else, I hope you'll pick a fight and get in it." ~Bono
About me: Welcome, one and one alike, to the realm of the the Lord and Master, Andrew Schnorr.
Without doubt, I have the most active brain of anyone you will ever know. Now, I'm not saying I'm the smartest person alive (my IQ is only 139), but the creative juices in my brain flow constantly. You ever want an idea for a book, play, movie, character, etc., ask me. My ideas range from the innocent, to the wacky, to the outright demented.
It is my belief that we are all crazy. Some are crazy like a fox, others are crazy like a clown. I am crazy crazy. If you were to see the inner workings of my mind, you would think me literally insane. I think things no human should think.
I am both a writer and an actor. I have written and published a novella called The Tapping Wand, which you can find the link to below. The following other books and such are in the works (in some cases, it means they're still in my head): The Chronicles of Fate (Seven-Book Series) The Scripture of Fate MONARCH, or, The Rise and Fall of the Official Antarctic Empire of Antarctica, Officially The Mea Culpa Legacy Vision I AM Lucifer Mental Hospital (Movie Script/Finished) The Bad Guys (Movie Script) The Bomber Boys (Movie Script) Dr. Deathman and the League of Ter-ror (Skit Scripts) The DC (Short Story)
As I said before, I'm also an actor. People say I'm a good actor, I just say they think that because I'm good at memorizing and I can do almost any accent there is. Some of my better ones are: English (Multiple Versions), Irish (Multiple Versions), Scottish, Russian, Greek, Indian, Italian, French, Australian, Swedish, Southern, Hick, and a few others. I can't do impressions, though, with the exceptions of Sean Connery, Antonio Banderas, Morgan Freeman, and Smeagol (from the Lord of the Rings).
I also have a list of theories about the universe. These are called the Crackpot Theories. Ask me if you ever want to here them, or any of my stories (I recommend the stories; the theories are a bit dry and scientific). I'll gladly tell you. In fact, you'll probably regret that you asked, as I can talk about my stories for hours (my current record is 5 and a half hours, on a plane trip to Africa [and by the way, if you have the means of visiting a safe part of Africa, I more than reccomend it, it is a life altering experience that gave me a new perspective on life and would probably do the same for you {and this would be a good time to note that I enjoy parenthetical statements}]).
I have many personalities, depending on what I want. Sometimes I can seem cold and distant, other times warm and friendly; sometimes super pompous and elitist, other times just some wacky kid. What's the "real" me? I would have to say some conglomerate of it all, really. I don't "fit" any category. I have a fairly twisted and somewhat sarcastic sense of humor. However, overall I make a good friend once you get to know me.
I graduated top of my high school class (St. Anthony High School, which a lot of people disliked, but I really love). I currently go to the University of California, Berkeley! It's very fun and very cool! Go Bears!!!
Hmmm.....what else is there to say? Let's see, I don't really date (I'm not a loser, I simply have never gotten around to it), and I abstain from all vices. One of my many, many nicknames is "God," and although that is technically a blasphemy, who am I to stop people from expressing religious freedom? ;) I would grow a goatee whenever I'm wasn't in high school. Currently, it's at a fairly good length, as they don't have strict dress codes at Cal. I love life; I'm not a moody teen who mopes around all the time. I think you can get a laugh out of anything. Anyhoo, thanks for reading this behemoth of a short bio, and have a great day. Oh, yeah, and read my book!!!
GO BEARS!
My Political Compass Rating
Economic Left/Right: -2.88
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -2.87
Now, in case you don't know enough about me, here's one of those survey things:
Who I'd like to meet: Bono - He's my hero and one of the greatest men on Earth. Antonio Banderas - Without doubt, the coolest man there is. Catherine Zeta Jones - She was supposed to take me to my Winter Formal, but never showed up (long story)! The Dalai Lama - It would make for a pretty interesting conversation. Nelson Mandela - Who wouldn't want to meet him? Umm...Jesus - Well, you never said they had to be living. Ceasar Julius - As long as they're dead, I might as well learn a little Latin. Isaac Newton - This guy was so smart, it isn't even funny.
My Comment Box
Leave me a comment: Instead of clicking on "Add Comment" link on the bottom, just use the box below to write me a comment.
Apologies for not responding earlier this week when I received your invitation. As much I would like to be present at your graduation. I must rspectfully and shamefully declined. I have nor will I be able to acquired appropriate funds for such a travel to Berkely at this time. I, here In Idaho, wish you nothing but the best in all of your future endeavors. I wish you a joyous graduation and, of course, a gorgeous sunset to end what should be considered, at least, a good day. You cannot imagine the amount of admiration and personal pride that I have in you, as a my friend.
-Alexander V.P.N. Martinez
p.s. That invite card was awesome! I can picture what your wedding invitation card would be like. The same pose, with your arm around a girl whose face cut off the page. That'll be tight. lol see ya
Hey next time your at borders or barnes&nobel and you got an extra $13.95 (+ tax) burning a hole in your pocket. I got a book for you to read. Its in the humor section, entitled Death: a Life with George Pendle. As you’ve might of guess it’s a memior from Death. the back flap describes him as the following; Death was born in Hell, the only son of Satan and Sin. He was educated in the palace of Pandemonium and the Garden of Eden. Since before the Dawn of Time, he has ushered souls into the darkness of enterinty. This is his first book.
And just in case that did not wet your appetite, here’s an excerpt from the book.
“You may at this point be wondering just how it was that Mother, Father, and I knew the names of all these creatures, having just arrived on Earth. Well, each animal, vegetable, and mineral, on Earth had a laminated card attached to it. On this laminated card was typed the phrase HI, I’M... with the creature’s name spelled out beneath it. Of course, such a system had its problems. many of the smaller creatures could not move because they were weighed down by the cards attach to them, and a great number of the cards became lost or mixed up. I have it on good source that ‘bananas’ were originally meant to be called “cycloparaffin,” but Father must have swithed the cards without anyone noticing. Once the wrong card had been worn for any amount of time, the name stuck... By my second day on Earth I was disconsolate and had retreated to a cavern and enveloped myself in the comforting embrace of the darkness I was blissfully doing absolutley nothing when I heard the sound of grunting coming from a small copse opposite the cave entrance. I crept over to investigate, curious as to what new horrors my parents might be instigating, but was greeted by the sight of two very strange-looking creatures. At first I thought they were angels, or devils, but they were much smaller and had no wings. Instead they had large protuberant brows that lent them the air of
immense stupidity that I would soon find out was throughly justified. It was my first sighting of humans.
The two creatures, who were seated before a large mound of laminated name tags, seem to be engaged in a fierce debate. ‘Me Adam,’ said the larger, hairierone of the two, whom I took as to be the male, attaching a card that read ADAM on his chest, before jabbing his finger at the other. ‘She Adam.’ ‘No,’ grunted the smaller, less hairy one. She attached a card to herself that read BRACHIOSAUR. ‘Me Eve,’ she said, before pointing her finger at the other. ‘You Eve.’ ‘No!’ retorted the large one. ‘Me Adam. You Adam’ ‘No!’ rejoined the smaller one, pointing at herself. ‘You Eve. Me Eve’ This went on for some time. Evetually I pluck up the courage to introduce myself. ’Hello. I’m Death. Wonderful day isn‘t it?’they looked at me uncomprehendingly, then at their pile of laminated cards, and then back to me. ‘You Adam?’ said the male one. ‘No. You Eve,’ said the female one. They looked at each other and suddenly began pulling out each other’s hair. They fought for a bit, and before I knew it they had begun rutting on the floor of me. I stood there amazed. I learned later that humans had been created out of dust. it showed. It was hardly a suprise to me that they would go on to eat the Forbidden Fruit. They ate everything–– apples, leaves, bark, grass, each other’s feces. They were repulsive creatures. Just as I was musing on what I could possible get them to do that they werent already doing, an incredibly bright org of light filled the sky above me. I had never seen such a intense brightness before... It seemed to cut straight through me and sent the Darkness scamperingback into the cave. Of course I knew instantly that this was God, because the light had on a large laminated badge that read HI I’M... GOD. I hid behind a shrub. ‘Adam,’ boomed a voice as loud as any I had ever heard. ‘Me Adam?’ responded the female. ‘No, you’re Eve, my dear,’ boomed God.
‘Me Eve,’ interjected the male. ‘No. No. You’re Adam!’ boomed God in frustration. ‘Anyway, how are things? Do you like the place?’ ‘Er...,’ said Adam and Eve. ‘Well look, I don’t have much time,’ boomed God, ‘but I don’t want you to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, all right?’ ‘Er...’ ‘That’s the big green one over there.’ ‘Er...’ ‘The one with the big laminated card on it reading TREE OF KNOWLEDGE.’ ‘Er...’ ‘I just planted it the other day,’ God boomed. ‘It’s over there and I think it really pulls the garden together.’ The light pointed to its right, or rather it seemed to point to its right because orbs of light can’t really point. Nevertheless, it made it perfectly clear that despite being completely round, it was favoring one directio over another. Such are the privileges of divinity. ‘Er...’ ‘Because you’ve already eaten my Bush of Anticipation.’ ‘Er...’ ‘And I really wanted to see how that would turn out.’ ‘Er...’ ‘So don’t touch it!’ God paused. He cleared His throat. He boomed, ‘For in the day that thou eatest thereof shalt surely die... or something.’ ‘You Adam?’ ventured Adam, shading his eyes with his hand. ’I separated the light from the darkness for this?’"
The rate of US Marine suicides has been rising in recent years. the biggest jump came at a time when the Marine Corps was being reduced in size, and so, many of these men were barred from reenlisting. I guess they realized that the odds against death had suddenly improved, and they might actually have to face life. So they killed themselves. Strange, huh? I like that sort of thing. It's entertaining.
I can see whats gonna happen in the future, when someone is buried and they have that gathering after the funeral, there's gonna be a new tradition of playing the dead person's ipod there at the gathering. And at that point, it'll give the bereaved some profound insight into the workings of that dead person's heart and soul. Because, after all, one's musical intrests are merely embellished expressions of one thoughts and feelings.
What would be funny though, is when a young party girl dies and her family and friends play her ipod that gathering, it's gonna turn into a big club-like party and I gurantee that by the end of the night, all her girlfriends will be clubbing it in the middle of the room with red plastic cups of beer in their hand and a shot of Captain Morgan in the other. and They'll probably forget what they were there to do in the first place. But they'll have a good time doing it! "Hey girl, let's do that again sometime!"
hey man whats up? long time no hear? when are you coming down for a visit again? we have alot of catching up to do i would assume. so me and cal finished our first book, and were in the process of writing our second. if luck actually decides to pay us a visit well be getting published some time this year. give me a call soon ya.
Hi Andy, I got my computer, yeah! still gotta get used to it and figure out what it can do and what not. I hope your having a good nite. Your not an R.A. anymore are you? Anyway, just wanted to say hi and thanks for the tip on the computer and I hope you have a good nite. Talk to you later!
the gunny thing is most of those characters reminds me of alot of your guys. Neo Deus is Doctor Manhattan. Webster is Rorschach just more talkative. and Ozymandias is well... you. lol. actually the ony characters i could identify with were the Nite Owl II and the comedian which scares me a little. cause that guy is crazy!!
This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well : Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
REM
