Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian. From his many years as a drummer in groups like San Francisco's noise metal behemoths Burmese, STD harvests material best-suited for a subversive rock-and-roll audience. Imagine a Frankenstein-esque monster assembled from equal parts Prince, Ozzy Osbourne, Bill Hicks, Eminem and Darth Vader...stitched together inside the shell of a jaded heavy metal ex-patriot, covering topics from Jesus zombies to post-apocalyptic clone sex. It is advised that you see his damned act before he is consumed by his own wickedness.
KILLING TIME:
To subscribe to STD's video podcast, go here.
PRESS:
"...but Schaffer The Darklord stole the show. When STD (what he claims is 'Standard' abbreviated) climbed on stage with his tiny beat box, it looked like he’d be more comfortable on Wall Street (actually, he does work on Wall St.) or behind a byline rather than star in a rap show. But then, that’s nerdcore’s point. From the first synth beats his outlandish movements and perfect diction had people laughing, singing along and erupting into clapping bursts. A stage power failure in the middle of a song about the destruction of language couldn’t even bring down the mood - a fan brought him a beer, he made some jokes, and then he (literally) spun around, unfazed, back into the rhymes. His recorded material does little justice to the energetic hilarity of his live show."
-CMJ
"Schaffer the Darklord merges geeky rap and stand-up comedy without descending into too much wackiness or self-parody. His take on Jesus Christ rising from the dead (to extract zombie vengeance on oppressive Christians) is pointed social criticism, while blunt attacks on rock-scene pariahs and attitude-laden, ethics-challenged bands are fearlessly spot on. And any fan of the Dead Kennedys needs to hear My Dinner with Jello which simultaneously pays tribute to Schaffer's hero and skewers a hero-worshipping culture."
-The Onion
"STD, as he's called, is the coolest dork yet. Since the horror-core of Grave Diggaz and Flatlinerz never took off, he's taken up the torch with startlingly spry raps and brilliant rhymes. His delivery stands up to Eminem's, and the comedy sends up rap and metal's lack of humor with intelligence Weird Al can't touch."
-Denver Westword
"NYC rappist Schaffer the Darklord bridges the gap between the Beastie Boys and Bill Hicks with a rapid-fire flow that takes aim at hip-hop clichés and hipster posing with demonic venom."
-Atlanta Creative Loafing
"It should be noted that musically, STD comes correct: his beats, samples, and flow pass the test even without the clone sex, cats, and vengeful zombie Jesus Christs."
-San Francisco Bay Guardian
"...intelligence and sense of irony reminiscent of fellow white-rapper geek MC Paul Barman." -Boston Phoenix
This is MaryEllen's friend/bandmate Shawnté and I urge you to come West, young man. ME got me hooked on our road trip last fall, and I sing "Cat People" in my sleep now.
So here I am sitting in Seattle wondering when you are gonna bring your rocking evil ass out here for a show. If there is one thing I miss about the east coast it's actually getting to see you perform. Even if I have to drive a hour, then drive home, then drive back. That was the best show. Can't wait for the new album to drop.
ZOMG IT'S SCHAFFER THE DARKLOOOOOOOORD!!! <3 (That is a symbol that, in the present internet-based lexicon, represents some vague degree of affection. )
Hey Schaffer The Darklord, hope you're having a great day! Say, do you believe in God? If so, do you think it comes with a tangible science we can hope to understand one day, or should it remain a mystical concept?
