MySpace a place for friends

Oh, and yes, for my great troubles and efforts I have been voted favorite writer by way of Planet Earth 4 straight years. It's a great honor that I calculate to have a monetary value of exactly zero dollars. It's very exciting. And depressing.

I am a lover of women, and widely considered the handsomest man in Journalism...by my Mom. She thinks I'm special and have a load of potential, so don't you dare doubt her. That said, *most* people probably know me ( unlike The F.B.I. who know me for a slew of unsolved murders in the Midwest throughout the mid-nineties) as the leader of a *certain* cult-popular website that I WILL NOT MENTION for fear of type-casting, and the fact that revealing details of its existence will paint images in your judging little mind that I wear dew rags and weightlifter's belts 24 hours a day and cannot change articles of clothing without first tearing them from my orange heaving body. But in the case you yourself are already aware of this institution and would either like to join our fledgling ranks or perhaps just seek advertising opportunity with our fair organization, you can get all the information you can handle in your grubby little paws right HERE, our official MySpace page. Or HERE at the actual Site.

So, ya, that's all there is to know about BUSINESS SEAN. But that's not all! Chances are, in the last few paragraphs, I've only promoted stuff that you might not even care about! And instead you might see the boyish smiling visage at the top of my page and say "I'd rather like to know what he's about!" And if not? Umm, well, fuck you? Sounds about right.

Anyway, I thought since this in essence a place where people like to meet people (and not just whore their work), I'll let you in a little bit on the REAL Sean Carless, and not the clone I send out to do my groceries and various worldly tasks.

I am a slave to any and all Entertainment mediums, from movies to music to videogames to comics, and am unapologetically so. If it requires sitting still and generally adding nothing of any value to society as a whole, chance are I embrace and revel in it.

Fortunately, for me, I choose to debunk that image by working out every chance I get and playing sports to keep a happy medium and balance, so that the inner nerd does not ultimately triumph. I'm like the Anakin Skywalker of jock/dorks. Only I would never try and pick up a woman by comparing her to the terrain of a dry desert planet. Much.

-I’m also Canadian, which of course means you think I always wear a toque, live in an Igloo, and pour maple syrup directly into my mouth straight from the bottle. Sadly, the "Igloo" is the only stereotype not true. But only because it was an unseasonably warm winter and it melted.

- I probably say "LOL" on MSN messenger too much. And I hate myself for it. I used to be a "haha" type of guy, but I finally sold out. However, if you ever see me write "LMAO" or the much more objectionable "LMFAO", you have my permission to punch me right in the soul.

- I have never pumped my own gas in my life. I refuse to do anything wherein there's a service where you can pay to have it done right.

-I've actually worn socks with sandals once. FUCK YOUR RULES~! It was comfortable.

-I once had a box of old wrestling videos mistakenly labeled "PORN" to throw lady friends off. And somehow they have found this more comforting than the reality of hundreds of hours of Hulk Hogan. MY SECRET IS OUT.

- I once ate EVERY MEAL at Taco Bell for an entire year. I was like that dude from Super-Size Me, only I didn't physically disintegrate. Maybe it's a McDonald's thing.

- Certain members of my family have been convinced I sell drugs for a living. This tends to happen when your job entails no actual set hours. I'll know it's gone too far when my grandpa asks me to get him a dimebag.

-I am a great barbecuer. God has blessed my hands with the ability to create delicious charred meat. If you're a Vegetarian , and this comment offends you to the point where you would like to bury me up to my neck in soy, to teach me a lesson on MURDER , let's just pretend instead of "meat", I said umm, Zucchini? Ok, then.

-I, much like every writer out there, am currently in the process of writing scripts that will likely never see completion. But rest assured, it's the best thing you've never read in your life.

- For the last ten+ years I have meticulously saved my money, so I could be at a point where I can currently enjoy a life of leisure. I'll think of you while I sleep until 4 pm tomorrow.

- I once placed a want-ad in my local paper for a Wizard, just to see who'd apply. One guy did, and I felt justified.

- I love long walks on the Beach. Ok, this is a lie. But hey, everyone else is lying too! I've been to the beach. Where are all these walking people? Shouldn't we all be bumping into their awkward asses all the time?

-I love absurdly stupid comedies to a fault. Anchorman, Old School, Knocked Up, etc. I can't get enough.

- I hate musicals. They're ridiculous. I cannot buy people spontaneously bursting into song. One minute two groups of hoods are about knife fight, and then holy shit, here comes the JAZZ HANDS~! If you did this in real life you'd be committed.

- I have an addiction to online personality quizzes. Some might misconstrue that as ultimate narcissism, but those people are obviously not as important as I am. But at least I can say that I've finally found a place (My Space) where my inane curiosity to see "which member of Milli Vanilli are you?" is shared by like-minded nerds people.

-I like women who swear. I'm probably in the minority here, but whatever. I don't want to marry June Cleaver. I want a Sara Silverman. Literally. I'm already circumcised. I at least know she'd appreciate it.

- I write really pointless "about me" profiles. The End.

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