About me: Hi. My name is Stephen Lynch. This is my biography. I play songs that I write on my guitar or my piano and people think they are funny. I grew up in Michigan, which is shaped like a mitten. I was born in Pennsylvania, which is shaped like a theatre ticket from a Broadway show. That Broadway show? "Jersey Boys." Not "The Wedding Singer" which I starred in. I have been singing and writing music since I was a kid. The first song I ever wrote was a country music song about a cowboy who breaks up with his girlfriend, then goes to a diner. There, his entrée reminds him of his lost love. It was called "Beefy Burrito." I thought it was hilarious, but that’s probably because I was 15 at the time. Really it was awful.
What else.. Oh, I was in a band in college with the unfortunate name of "Steel Toast." We did lots of cover songs, like "Comfortably Numb" and "Start Me Up" and "Magic Carpet Ride." I joined the band for three reasons: one, because I loved to sing; two, girls love dudes in rock bands; and three, to show off my new gray stonewashed Lee jeans I got from Sagebrush. This was 1989.
From college I moved to New York with dreams of becoming an actor. Or a rock star. Or a temp worker. I managed to accomplish the latter in about 2 days. Dreams really DO come true! While I wasn’t filing papers at the Allied Irish Bank or expense reports at J. Crew, I continued to write songs about things I found funny. During lunchtime or on 2 hour "smoke breaks" I would get out my walkman and listen to music I had written and try to come up with lyrics. It was at this time I penned several songs that would comprise my first album, "A Little Bit Special." Songs like "Lullaby" and "If I Were Gay" and "Livin’ La Vida Loca," which I sold to Ricky Martin one night after too many rails at the Hellfire Club.
What else.. Oh, I actually started performing these songs at little clubs and variety shows around New York, getting generally good reactions. Place like The Westbank Café in midtown Manhattan, Catch a Rising Star in Chelsea, and Luna Lounge on the lower east side. Before long, I was on popular local radio show "Opie and Anthony" who gave me great exposure and allowed me to headline clubs in the metropolitan New York area. Comedy Central also called and said, "Do you want a half-hour special?" I said, "Yes I do." Then they said, "Sweet." And I said, "I have to go. My boss needs me to put toner in the Xerox machine." I was still temping.
That all changed when my Comedy Central special aired and became one of the highest rated for the channel. Almost overnight I went from temp worker with no money to guy who opens up for Jeff Foxworthy for $75 dollars a night. Ok, not much had changed but things were looking up. I eventually started headlining my own shows at colleges across the country, making a name for myself, selling my album out of the trunk of my rented Geo Metro, and trying to get college girls to neck with me at Inspiration Point after my gigs.
Ok, this bio is way too long. Let’s race to the end. I recorded 2 more albums ("Superhero" and "The Craig Machine") and a performance dvd ("Live at the El Rey"). My manager and booking agent had the genius idea to not play horrible comedy clubs anymore and start booking rock clubs and theatres. This has worked out nicely. I might even quit temping! I have toured with some cool people, like Lewis Black and Mitch Hedberg and as I mentioned before I played the title role in the Broadway production of "The Wedding Singer," for which I received a Tony Nomination, a Drama League nomination and a Drama Desk nomination, none of which I won. Assholes.
Damn, I must really like you, more so than I'm used to liking a man. I saw you in DC a few months ago (damn I wished you would've sent that middle-aged retard on his way) and spent almost $500 on those tickets and now I am buying front row tickets to the Carnegie Hall show. Keep up the good work, your new cd is hilarious, you're worth every penny.
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