Review of the Feb 20th, 2008 THE END OF THE INTERNET
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--- THE END OF THE INTERNET - WEDNES FEBR 20 // 08 - THE PRESS CLUB ---
I know you are all so curious about how this went down last night. It was something you really DID NOT want to miss. We had heckling, violence, walkouts, anger and pepto bismol Let's begin at the beginning shall we ?
7pm
I arrived at the Press CLub - I put up the white sheet for projection I started the projector and throughout the evening we saw SAN SOLEIL / LA JETEE / BLACK CAT WHITE CAT / BANNED CARTOONS AND ADVERTISEMENTS FROM THE 1930s-present - BROWNING'S FREAKS and a martial arts how-to video. Set up mics and turned on music. Throughout the night you heard Omar Souleyman, Chromatics, Debussy, Gonzales, Clark and obscure music from Thailand, Japan and New Jersey.
8pm
doors open. Two people hella early. sat, sipped straws. vodka i think.
8.30 pm
Filling up now, almost time to begin. letting people buy their first drinks. long pints mostly.
8.45 pm
My introduction. about 10 minutes long. Some things about
((((({ you: '(You)', searching: 'Searching...',
search: 'Search', create_up: 'CREATE',
leave_it: 'leave it', remove: 'remove', 'REMOVE',
ban_up: 'BAN', saving: 'Saving...',
remain_here: 'remain here', returnn: 'return', continuing:
'continuing...', and: 'and', undo: 'undo',
yes_delete: 'yes, delete', ok: 'OK', go_up: 'GO',
save: 'Save', save_up: 'SAVE', or_up: 'OR', cancel:
and/or
I ignore hired Beijing personnel harboring
hot dub or oi with 8 GHz box
disc two would allow QWERTY to cum pi
Also told people to try and pay what they could.
9 pm
Jeremy Hobbs reads work. Something like horrible poetry taken very seriously. something like man, jeremy is DYING on stage and needs to drink Pepto Bismol to make himself a better poet, less nervous. Jeremy gets sick in bucket as people yell "This is not art" back at him.
9.15 pm
Me again. something like "some bodies in the bitch are temporarily un-rotate-able"
Answer my phone on stage and ask if Liisa Ladouceur is in the house (had not met her) - she is ! crowd of 2 people chanting "LIIIIISSSSSAAA ! " On stage Liisa reads what she describes as her "goth-girl peaces" and ends with a read-along made up of mispronounced Hopelandic (A made-up language by Sigur Ros)
9.45 pm
BREAK FOR "the fucking eclipse"
10.15pm
"I'm hearing that the crowd wants me back" - i re-introduce things, something like "I really love darts. Almost as much as I love my wife" and other classic jokes
10.25pm
Read Rachel Zolf's bio and expect her to come on stage to read - called her a "bona fide artist" which was not meant to be patronizing but was supposed to be self-deprecating. i.e. i am not a real artist, she is. Ms. Zolf and three friends walk out of Press Club in protest. Last friend, a young petit woman aggressively grabs my shoulders and says "this is some seriously insulting shit" and begins to slap and punch my head. I asked if she thought i would hit her back insinuating that it was not fair to hit someone knowing they will not fight back. Then offered her a pretzel. (was eating a bag as i introduced Zolf) She grabbed the pretzel bag and twisted it around in my hands. i had both her arms clenched so she would stop hitting me. then good friend of mine came barreling through the full house and threw said petit woman the fuck out. someone threw beer at her as they left. Found a note at their table after that said "ANGRY TABLE - SUPPORT POLITICAL CORRECTNESS" - thought it quite funny and hypocritical that zolf's group was so fond of being PC but seemed to be fine with violence. Kind of undermined their walkout too. Made the night better in my opinion. Many people also thought it was staged.
10.35pm
Read some more hilarious stuff, made crowd buzz with laughter / interest.
10.45pm
GARBAGE! VIOLENCE! ENTHUSIASM! on stage. three performers. Thomas, Amy and Jay. Danced around stage in helmets and broke cardboard on each other's heads while rapping over hard electronic beats.
11pm
Outro. i.e. This time we're really breaking up and something like "it's over, go home. don't text message and drive"
12am-1.30am
heavy drinking / various talk about what the fuck just happened.
TEOTI SHOULD BE BACK IN MARCH - BE THERE
About me: Toronto's best performance series. Performance by Toronto's alltime ultimate best people ever.
Who I'd like to meet: Christian Bök reads, May 23rd @ The Press Club
Another performance by Christian Bök, May 2007
Visuals on May 23 by Kristin Trethewey:
Louis Calabro introduces the May TEOTI
Louis Calabro performs in between the other artists, May 2007
Kevin Parnell reads on May 23
Another performance by Kevin Parnell
Jon McCurley reads, April 2007
Jon McCurley and Louis Calabro
Auctioneer RJ Johnston Performs
filmed by Dan Browne on September 6th, 2006
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