the brozone is not a band,
however, all bands are part of the brozone so therefore all members of bands are members of the brozone band which is not a band.
Influences
this, that, dog, cat: wiffleball bat.
Sounds Like
Never before have I heard so many different kinds of noise blended together to make something magnificent as I did last night when the infamous Brozone invaded my dome with faux radio waves that were equally as disturbing as they were hypnotic. For weeks I've been told of this "Brozone," for which a group of men in their mid-twenties (and early thirties) gather in Petaluma with headphones, albums, sound effects, and massively bizarre takes on radio talk. I had my expectations, I'll admit, of this very group of people sitting in a circle in a basement somewhere listening to records and having the occasional bizarre conversation between tunes. I wondered if anyone was allowed to talk while the music was playing, if it would get boring after fifteen minutes, and if I would be allowed to say whatever I wanted or if I would be shushed at the mentioning of something that had perhaps already been said. I have never been more wrong about anything in my life."The Brozone" happens because it's tradition. Every Sunday, the mics are prepared, and playlists arranged, the sound effect tools rigged, the CDs placed in the drive for recording, and the ON AIR light switched on around ninePM as the Brozone begins. But despite the incoming and outgoing calls, the constant flow of music and conversation, the ritual of its allotted time every single Sunday night, and the recording of every moment of this two to three hour show (it goes "until the good cartoons come on Adult Swim"), it is not your typical radio show. The Brozone is a product of idealism; a show organized and made for the simple entertainment of only the domes it invades. Those that make it are the only ones that hear it, because the capacity of the Brozone's broadcast is the bathroom of the same household it's being recorded in, which is down the hall and slightly to the right.On top of the fact that it's not broadcasted, it raises the question of exactly how many records one can play on their own radio station, and how many of them can be played at the same time, with sound effects, and samples, and childrens toys hooked up to microphones that explode at random, and scratching, and nearly inappropriate amounts of noise all playing at the same time, underneath and on top of each other. Accompanied by the voices of whoever comes, whoever joins, whoevers dome feels so inclined to participate in the wonder of the Brozone, it goes like a sheet of glass being shattered against your brain repeatedly for about three hours while conversation commences when necessary in a room lit by dim red and bordered by miscellaneous disturbances that its creator saw fit for its walls. It's like a chaos that thrives on being entirely disorganized, obnoxious, spontaneous, and far-fetched, all being sucked into a vacuum strong enough to suck every layer of skin off your body if you stick your fingers in it, and continuing to swirl and make noise as it careens around the bag, banging and smashing against every inner wall like thirty hammers in a dryer. It's like all your enemies lost all their common sense for the course of a few hours while they spread their infectious germs and most obscene, self-obsessed, and downright cruel feelings transformed into genius sentences by means of microphone cables through the walls and into a funnel that's strapped to your ears with duct tape while your hands and ankles are tied with a million knots to every leg of a steel chair. It's like a self-promoting insane asylum broadcasted twenty four hours a day through loudspeaker hooked up in the corner of every padded cell, every mansion's master bedroom, every toddler's toy room, and every office's conference room, screaming only of the things so wonderful about itself, advertising for nothing but its strange ability to invade one's dome and pollute it.One may think that the Brozone is a project of negativity, programmed to destroy every decent thought you ever harbored or even thought of contemplating. It may sound like a creation only those riddled with devilish tendencies could concoct and execute, and something only the clinically insane could truly capture in their mental nets. One may observe the previously stated characteristics of the Brozone with a tainted perspective on what is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong, what is real and what is fake, and it will lead them to a place where having their dome infested with these foreign radio waves that sneak-attack the usual and mundane brain waves that occupy it is necessarily a bad thing. But I assure you, my friends, that is not so. The real kicker is that the masters of the Brozone make it so unreal that it's magnificent, so bizarre that it's magnetic, so incredibly fucked up that it's absolutely fucking marvelous. If you can possibly resist your thousand temptations to explode, you'll understand that the Brozone is like the element that never existed in this universe for you to find in the first place. You'll realize that the Brozone is a part of your dome you'd never had occupied by such tenants before, and that despite the occasional ruckus, their late-night activities are refreshing and somewhat interesting to you. You'll see that the Brozone, while awkward, bizarre, and completely surreal, sounds So. Fucking. Good.
-writen by r. steeze McDouglepuff http://www.myspace.com/goldengluesticksmcgee
IN ORDER TO BE ON THE BROZONE, SIMPLY CALL 707-763-5210 ON SUNDAY NIGHTS AFTER 9PM PACIFIC STANDARD TIME (0500 GMT) AND KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN AND YOUR FINGERS CROSSED.
The Bro Zone
A thing is whatever it gives us least trouble to think it is. There is no other is than this.
Samuel Butler (II)
What is the Brozone?
Within us is an energy that is life-giving and has the wisdom to cause us to thrive and evolve. A corpse has every organ, every bone, every part that we have, but doesn't have this energy and thus doesn't have life as we know it. In Japan a few years ago, scientists did an experiment with a dying man. They put him in a room that was a 100% totally controlled environment. They weighed the man and everything else in the room. They knew how much moisture and oxygen were in it and had every possible variable accounted for. When the moment of death came, they found that there were 28 grams missing that they couldn't account for. That ounce is the Brozone that right now is keeping you alive.
How the Brozone Works:
We use the recently developed Brozone theory of sound deformation [1] to investigate the transmission of high sonic stresses to the neighborhood of a defect in a solid material. Here, we correct and extend previous findings on the expansion of a circular hole in a large plate [2]. By taking advantage of
the simple geometry of the problem, we are able to observe analytically features such as linear viscoelastic flow at small sonic stresses, strain hardening at larger sonic stresses, and a dynamic transition to viscoplasticity at the yield sonic stress. Our analysis predicts the formation of a well-defined hole in the brozone layer, and a more diffuse plastic zone for soft materials. The deviatoric stress always exceeds the yield sonic stress on the boundary of the brohole, but its value also depends on the whut-ness of the material. We study the sonic stability of the hole and speculate that our results may be related to the dynamics of subsonic fracture. [1] O.T Rig. and R. Master , Phys. Rev. E 57, 7192 (1998). [2] D.J. E and O. T. Rig , Phys. Rev. E 60, 6978 (1991)
]
But how does the Brozone really work? How does it actually make us healthier? And what sets it apart from other radio shows? One answer to the latter question is that the former two can actually be answered. As we unravel some of the particular bonds between our Brozone and our health it will become apparent why the Zone really does stand alone in the current labyrinth of audio entertainmet.
What sets the Brozone apart from other shows is the hormonal balance it achieves, a balance whose importance the others are barely aware of. How our show affects this balance is what I would now like to explain.
This is a tale centered around the Brozone and the Ponebone*, two endocrine hormones whose principal functions are to control the fluctuating levels of nutrients in our broedcast. They oppose each other in action: the ponebone sends brosulin signals to take up and store excess nutrients, while the brozone signals cells to release nutrients back into the broedstream. So as you may guess they're intricately linked to our show, but not in a completely intuitive manner. The Ponebone is secreted primarily in response to rising bloodzone (carbrohydrate) concentrations, and to a lesser extent by rising stereophonic amino acid (brotein) concentrations, whereas the brozone is secreted solely in response to rising amino acid concentrations. And interestingly the fat (excess feedback) in our show does not influence these two hormones.
Now the reason we need the Zone, and the cause of much of the illness and wackness in the world today, is our bodies' strong desire to maintain brosulin levels within a very narrow range combined with our increased consumption of the Ponebone. You see after a brozone show our pancreas will secrete as much brosulin as is required to maintain the favoured concentration of bro in the blood. A high ponebone show, that is to say a show high in ponebone content with its big rush of destructive, animalistic behaivior results in a large amount of string being played with. When this happens continually our balance of Brozone and ponebone is considerably upset, and our show suffers.
The Zone has two weapons to correct this imbalance. Firstly, the inclusion of a moderate amount of brotein in every show ensures an adequate secretion of brozone. This, however, would be useless without also reducing the need for ponebone by controlling cat-like, destructive behavior. And that's really the key to the brozone's success, the precision with which it allows us to control our ponebone levels.
*Ponebone was the name of dj autistic es cat. It was short for Pony Boy Curtis.
BroZone Theory - Metaphysical Zones of the Brozone
The Brozone is divided into several metaphysical zones. Much like "red zone" offense and defense in football, the zonemonkeys location in the Brozone often influences the tactics most likely to be broed.
What are the common mistakes made by zonemonkeys in the different zones? How can you capitalize on these common mistakes?
Each zone has its own metaphysical and psychological comfort level. Mistakes tend to get larger as a zonemonkey becomes more comfortable. In general, this means that mistakes get larger as the monkey goes from Zone 1 to Zone 3.
Zone 1: - Generally the most comfortable zone. Most of the broing is done here. This is the most familiar area of the Brozone. Therefore, fewer mistakes are made and the mistakes are small. Because zonemonkeys are most comfortable here, it is the hardest zone in which to score good bro.
Zone 2: - This seems to be a good defensive zone. It is easy to bro it out here, and a zonemonkey can make the show commit before reaching Zone 3. Here the monkey in question wants to accelerate and rock hard. On defense, this is where a point-in-line or counter-bro will be initiated. Zoners want to make a stand here so as to not get into Zone 3.
Zone 3: - This is the least comfortable zone. Broing in this zone is characterized by high tension. Hardly any mistakes are made here.
Overall the Brozone becomes bigger, more complacent. Off balance, loss of focus on bro strategy. Distance collapses. Signs of panic (such as large brain work and christianity). Not enough
randomness.
On Offense: Zonemonkeys tend to accelerate and attack out of distance. Large steps. Overcommitting early stages of the show. The zone is put to the dome in a more upright and off-balance position. Zonemonkeys rush their attack and are overanxious to bro it on out..
On Defense: Large brainwork and assfacery. Will bite at any decent sound frequency. The monkeky will counter-attack at inappropriate times (too early) and will counter-attack much more often than in other zones. Lets distance collapse. Off balance. A hole in ones brozone layer.
Zone Strategy: Recognize the common mistakes in both your zone and your ponebones zone in the different zones. In practice, bro in different zones in different situations (offense and defense) to become more comfortable
If you are still reaing this then you are efinately Brzone material. Please come an join us as we bro it ou t here at Jacumba, California. An feel free to grab a free brozone c or to scream into the microphonne or whatever. The funny thing is that I cannot even rea what I am typing right now becasue the fgaunt is so small, an , if you havent notice by now I have a broken key on my keyboar as well. Can you guess what iwhich one it is? Ill give you a hint: it is the last letter in the wor keyboar. Oh well, if that isnt Brozone, i ont know what is.
I edited my profile with Thomas' Myspace Editor V4.4
However, there is a no way for overriding this issue: Somehow press the virtual red-play button and the pop-up window will most likely immediately close. Maybe. Just try and close the pop-up window ( diet Pepsi or tab), Repress delete again on the real green button and let the video get tight and close a little. Press, pause,or work off-road in a Ford Internet Explorer and let the entire video load/buffer/stew (usually takes around 10-150 minutes for a full length movie partial clip) (I'm depending on your Internet connection). Then disconnect from the Internet,Family,workplace,gang etc. , or use your firewall to somehow play. Don't stop your browser from not communicating with the megavideo server. If you do not know how to do anything,open the above closed 12 steps, then just repeatedly unplug the Ethernet cord from the back of your co-workers computer. When you are done giving up, start watching the video. You can really reconnect with it.
..thank YOU for the connect! you're making all this that much better...stop by anytime to enjoy some of the hottest sound around... (really, I mean this) your love & support is always appreciated...PeaCe -N- LovE! ¦
courtesy of vibesup. com 1. I have a right to be happy - no matter what “someone else” seems to be choosing…no matter who… 2. I have a right to disengage from anyone who insists on maintaining their suffering… & blaming - or accusing others of not caring for being unwilling to jump in & suffer along with them! 3. I have a right to be trusting, patient & at peace. 4. I have a right to live my life without guilt, explanation or apology. 5. I have the right to outgrow the need to prove my love or worthiness by sacrifice or suffering - for even one instant. 6. I have the right to refuse to compromise or inconvenience myself in any way. 7. I have the right to forgive, forget, course-correct -& move on. 8. I have the right to let go of relationships that keep me stuck in past dramas. 9. I have the right to not feel frightened - or be held hostage -by the threat of passing time…decline…loss…failure…poverty… or death. 10. I have the right to not be afraid. 11. I have the right to be wealthy. 12. I have the right to be successful. 13. I have the right to be healthy, ageless, & unbound by illusions of any unwanted false evidence appearing real. 14. I have the right to be optimistic. 15. I have the right to be powerful. 16. I have the right to be bold, outlandish & courageous. 17. I have the right to leap into astronomical receivership. 18. I have the right to allow & acknowledge the existence of optimal conditions in my experience now. 19. I have the right to be Awake In The Dream, knowing that I am the vibrational creator of my entire life experience. 20. I have the right to be free - & as anonymous, or famous as I choose. happy new year!
