Chewbacca is taking a shit, Punk Floyd, cheap old-school gore/splatter films, Spede Pasanen golfin', Bohemian rhapsody, Don Jeremy, Batman and Elvis Meatloaf, Gonzo journalism, Jack Kerouac hitch-hiking, William S. Burroughs in rehab, Mikko Alatalo having a dry dream...
"Compose music as you would like to hear it yourself, regardless of whether it brings you fame or money. For then you will be sure that you are giving people something that you believe in, in other words, you are giving them TRUTH."
Witold Lutoslawski
"THE AGE OF REASON"
"OH MY GOD! IT'S GRANNY FROM THE CLOSED! FUCK MY ASS!!!" - This is how one spanish fan put it down when we met during dirty hours in the Helsinki nightlife last summer. And that's exactly the way we responded when we got our new baby out! "THE AGE OF REASON" is ready and suckmyballs how good it turned out! It contains 6 songs:
1. Age of reason, 2. Faggot suite, Opus 69, part II: "Murder", 3. Khalak Svalala, 4. Nght Trror!, 5. King and 6. Sutyagin (casa del terrore). ORDER IT NOW!!
"NICE WEATHER TO KILL YOU" is still available! But hurry up, the stock is really limited.
5 unbeatable songs waiting for you to buy and listen til' your head explodes! Including: 1.Hattori Hanzo, 2.Until I Die, 3.Captain Piles, 4.Space Cowboys, 5.Where's da Mars?. This shit really hits the fan!!!
HOW TO ORDER?
Ok, this is really easy – send message to us (yes, through myspace) and tell us your name, address, what title and how many cd's you are ordering and why. The price is 5 € (including postage all over the universe). Order more and still the price is the same. We'll get back to you and send you more info how to prosedure. Ok?
Both of these are maybe coming also in these formats: DCC/MD/PSP/HDDVD/VHS/Video2000/XML/HTML/XLR
The Closed was actually found already in the mid 70's in North Dakota. At the time lead guitar player Granny Johnson spent 6 years in Jail being convicted of double humicide. There he suddenly met the drummer Driver Nielsen who was arrested for high speed driving in Norway. Later on he was found not guilty, but that's a whole another story.
Years passed by until in the early 80's, because of a good behaviour these two young guys from Ohio were allowed to buy some musical instruments from the local music store. Only problem was that rockinstruments like guitars and drums were not allowed. Every sunday while others spend their morning in church, Granny and Driver used to show their musical ideas to each other in their own band room. Jamming with their flutes and tubas they composed almost ten songs.
So few years passed by and dudes got out of jail. Being sober for nearly 10 years was too much for Driver. In rehab our drummer met bass player Ada von Flesh and singer Carl-Sofia Beltzer who both had been in rehab almost their whole lifes. Next thing what had to be done was to escape from there. It was just before christmas eve when these three brave young guys managed to steal fake costumes of a doctor and the road was clear.
Now they had a band, but still something was missing. They needed badly also a percussionist. Not because Granny was high all the time, but somebody's had to pay for their dopes.
It was 1998. At the time Max Chill worked as a private dentist for William Chatner. Max was also well known for his interest for collecting bones. Also Ada had same kind of interests, but in a different way.
While the booze and all kind of herbs paid von Flesh's wife and all the money, he had no chance but to donate two of his precious ribs.
So in this twisted way these two guys met each other. The CLOSED was born...
In the year 2003 big record company Popkori
signed the band for a second and you know the rest. Over 1 000 000 (pirate)copies sold. One of the most biggest tours ever made called "The Biggest Fang" was a huge success. Only two bad things happened during those years (2003–2005): Chill could not help himself and disappeared from the band to start a new bone collection & the lead singer Beltzer got arrested during the show in Jemen because he had said the word "duck" three times in a row.
But now in year 2009 the band is stronger than ever before. Listen and enjoy these new songs. You..ll love 'em.
John Bi. Williams - Rolling Store magazine, April 2009
LIVE AT KUUDES LINJA 2009. Photos by HENRY MELAANVUO.
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Hey, I just made new song called Rock n`slave for you, Little kinky and inspiration are from my complex life but, Check it out, real Rock and rolling. I Hope that you enjoy my music. Keep on rocking and Wish ya well. Mark POISON
"Close Friends with Sharp Knives" is on iTunes and Amazon..
