All I eat is sugar. Everything excites me including the pronunciation of the word, "Excite." If I drink anything that isn't loaded with sugar, I'll puke all over my nuts!
Male
28 years old
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
United States
I love horses only because I think it is funny how they can take dumps while they're walking. Sometimes on my lunch break instead of eating, I'll drive over to the zoo and watch the horses rock out fat doops while they're walking. I just laugh and laugh and laugh. Then I get back into my car and try not to think about how much my job depresses me. On the way back I might grab a sugar cookie from Starbucks, but I usually don't have time because watching horses poopin' it up can take a full hour easily. Anyone who doesn't know that hates animals and minorities.
Music
Inspirational Lyrics:
A horse is horse of course of course...
and he is a horse of course of course...
of course he is a fucking horse...
I'm talkin' bout Mr. Ed!...
I've established that he's a fucking horse...
I'm kind of ashamed that you disagree...
If you don't like horses, you're a hateful bigot...
Mr. Ed will bite your face!
Movies
I like that movie "Kickboxer" with Jean Claude Van Damme. I think it is great how that tree paralyzes Jean's brother and so he gets revenge on it by kicking it down even though his leg is bleeding really bad. I have a brother and if he ever got beat up by a tree, I'd fucking kill that tree just like Van Damme. I wouldn't use all of the tree's resources wisely like in that book, "The Giving Tree." I'd just kick it and burn it to the ground.
Books
I like that book, "Kickboxer" written by Jean Claude Van Damme. I especially like the part where Jean hunts down and kicks the shit out of the tree that paralyzes his brother. I have a brother and I'd do the same unless my brother had done something to provoke it.
Heroes
My hero is my neighbor Kurt. Kurt just sits around all day and gains weight. He smells like a fucking sewer. Kurt will cancel plans in order to make time for screaming at people to get the fuck off of his property. I think it's cool that he hates trespassers because it makes him a lot like The Headless Horseman even though Kurt still has his head. Also, Kurt's only interaction with a horse was when a mini horse kicked him in the head. Ever since that incident, Kurt has major mood swings. Those things ROCK! Kurt will sometimes have a huge party and then after five minutes, he'll pull out a gun and tell us to get the fuck out of his house. Then he'll call the next day and ask me why we took off so early. Wow! Also, Kurt and I go down to the creek to catch crawdaddies even though I'm in my mid-twenties and Kurt is 47. Kurt knows how to get a whole bunch of them, but they usually die before we can sell them. Every time they die, Kurt screams at them and calls them, "pussies!"
About me: This idiot horse bit my hand off when I was trying to feed him a pinecone. That's it really.
Who I'd like to meet: Darn it! My friend Tracy and I had a bet and whoever lost had to post nude pictures of themselves on the internet. I can't believe I lost! Oh well, I don't want to be a spoil sport so I guess I'll follow through even though I'm totally fat compared to Tracy! LOL! Myspace won't let me post nude pics here, but if you subscribe to supercrazyfuckwhores.com, you can check them all out!
http://thehucklebuck.squarespace.com/
Well, that could work in your favor. I mean, if you were a super hero, the villain might be like "oh, um, let me know that crowbar from your hand," but then you could be like "noooo way, it's a hook hand" and then slice the villains pancreas out of his skull,...or something.
SEND THIS TO ALL THA PEOPLE THAT U ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT INCLUDING ME!!!
if you...
get 1 back: damn dude u need friends
get 2 back: eh u still need work boo
get 3 back: alright a few props
get 4 back: mini celeb
get 5 back: dammmmmmn ppl luv ya :)
get 6 back: ur famous
hey we have a new EP done and posted to our myspace page--we worked really hard on it and we hope you love it! come by and check it out.. and post "i want just this ashtray" on our comments and we'll send you the EP for free...
Online Now!
