The Raising Arizona Song, Sanford and Son, music from Dr. Mario (esp the chill setting), Nine Inch Nails, Dirty Rap, Ted Nugent, castle house dance parties, Boston (the band), the Grand Canyon, our best friends.
Sounds Like
throwy uppy
ghosts in a basement:
a brief history of broken windows
We've toured a lot. With touring comes battle scars. We look presentable, sure, but it's easy to wipe tour off. All you do is shower, shave, and go eat a seafood buffet. No problem. Jackson's Hole? Where's that?
The Van is the real beast of tour. It has all the scars. It will always be the independent variable of the band's livelihood. You can't tour without it. It's the bread and the butter. Even after a perpetual rotation of bad drivers, a day by day demolition, and housing all of the worst smells of the world, you begin to get this feeling that it wants you to succeed. Despite the abuse, it's on your team. The catch is, like a diva, it needs the attention of a newborn baby. It wants you to worry about it. Constantly. And do you have a choice?
In good times, it is our best friend. It often dons a new sticker of exceptional personality courtesy of its inhabitants. Windy whispers blow "hero" as it scorches through the Mojave in mid-July. "May you never melt, tin lightning." If it needs a real confidence boost, we throw in the extra money for a new air filter even though it's probably not that important.
In bad times, it is the scapegoat. Its status falls from Ol Ironsides to Steve fucking Bartman with one blow of a gasket. Until it starts driving again, nobody will look it in the eyes. Quiet appreciation flips to ugly browbeating. "Why did we even buy you? Nice fuckin timing belt. HONK! HONK!" But like it or not, the Van tells all, and there is no denying the physical proof of the places it has taken you.
After our most recent Van suffered a brick through the windshield, the trend really set in. I could no longer count broken Van windows on one hand. As long as I am associated with Van, Van will continue to collect broken windows.
And now for a brief history in chronological order. It starts a bit hazy because I wasn't around for the first few.
Van 1 Band driving: Stop it!! Window: left middle sliding 1 City:? Culprit: some lil dude Method:? Reason: basic thieving Status: not replaced Band comments: It takes a brave, tiny person to fit in this window, and it's breezier in the back without it. A for effort and A+ for courtesy.
Van 1 Band driving: Stop it!! Window: Left middle sliding 2 City:? Culprit: Stop it!! Method: lil bassist with brass knuckles Reason: locked keys inside Status: not replaced Band comments: A little Juresko and a little Parma, Ohio magic went a long way for this classic boner.
Van 1 Band driving: Snack Truck Window: Left Back City: Charlottesville, VA Culprit: Jorge Brito Method: Pabst Bottle Reason: Drunk and Underthrown Status: Replaced with plywood and duct tape Band comments: After getting shit from our friend, Jorge apologized to the entire crowd over the PA, seconds before Snack Truck's set. He also offered to pay for it to be replaced. No hard feelings, mysterious acquaintance. Big back pound to Talls for his home-turf heroicism.
Van 1 Band driving: Ultra Dolphins/ Snack Truck Window: Left Sideview City: Somewhere, Nebraska Culprit: Frayser Method: Veering off interstate and sideswiping a reflector pole at 85 mph Reason: Some part of me wanted everyone to die Status: replaced Band comments: The pole also severed the brake line which we discovered the next day when I nearly killed everyone again. This time in Iowa.
Van 1 Band driving: Ultra Dolphins/ Snack Truck Window: Driver's side City: Chicago, IL Culprit: Logan Square local Method: weird metal object Reason: he saw a wallet with money poking out Status: replaced with plywood and duct tape Band comments: The most beligerent Sam Vanneman (bravest roadie ever) ever got was one second after he woke up to the sound of glass shattering in his ear after 4 hours of sleep inside the van. Quoth he, "Fuck you motherfucker, get the fuck out of here!" Situation resolved...go get the duct tape. If you see him, hug that beast hard.
Van 2 Band driving: Eat Forever Window: Windshield City: Philadelphia, PA Culprit: ? Suspects: Osama Bin Laden, Tony Pointless, Tim Westberg Method: Brick Reason: That's how West Philly rolls Band comments: Who's the faggot now?
ULTRA DOLPHINS debut album Mar is now available! Both CDs and LPs have been made and can be obtained from the band on tour or through Robotic Empire's Online Store.
The Mar vinyl was pressed on several different colors, and both the CD and LP have artwork and an elaborate lyric booklet courtesy of Travis Robertson!
ULTRA DOLPHINS' Why Are You Laugh CD / LP collection of older material is also in stores and distros now, and available through mail-order directly from Robotic Empire. This prelude to the Mar full-length is six older tracks (24 minutes) from the EPs and was nicely remastered at Sonya Sound in DC, with glorious new artwork via Travis as well!
Our vans like to get broken windows. We love breaking strings and drumheads. Nate is a lady but he's getting stronger. He lives in Richmond with a pit bull named Pudge. Frayser has dreams. He lives in Richmond with a wiener dog named William. Tim gets sick a lot and goes to school in Brooklyn. He lives with a husky named Janie. Slammin extra girthy double sixes. Tuna casarole. Kicker. These are just a few of the pastimes that make us grand. This album is like pretty done or something. Make sure to listen to it all the way through before you decide it sounds too much like yani.
It features a Small Brown Bike retrospective, Akimbo, Brent Eyestone (Magic Bullet/Forensics), Will Killingsworth (Ampere/Orchid), Ryan Ferguson (No Knife) and much more.
You can download a copy by clicking on the cover below:
You can also order a paper copy of the new issue, or download past issues by visiting: www.thenewscheme.com
Toad's Place would like to thank you for your continued support and would like to remind you of our upcoming shows; Including Eddie from Ohio, Cake, The Hackensaw Boys and Carbon Leaf. Check our website for more dates at www. ToadsPlaceRVA.com
HEY! We are very pleased to announce that our new album, Be Yr Own Shit is scheduled to be released in stores January 2008 @ TOLOSELATRACK/AUDIOGLOBE + Take a look at our myspace page where you can hear tracks from our upcoming record! click click HERE! Pre-release party-->22/11/07 @ Funhouse/Domus Club, Perugia dj set by Fab&Marzio YO+LLLOVE thetigersss*
hey guys dropped by to say hi - i hope all's well...you found the farmfest pictures! ;-) we're in the US in march/febr..maybe see u then ? and give us a call when you guys are coming back over ! keep in touch ! cheers mich & the farmfest / vlas vegas records crew)
I'm so bummed that you had all these NE shows scheduled for like a week or two after I moved to the other side of the country. Come to the west coast! I love you, guys!
