Everybody's always telling you you have to be something all the time. Like how during these early years it is important to start to be something. But it's gotta be something they want you to be. Anything you want to be is always a "whim" or "unrealistic" for crissakes. It gets on your nerves. It really does.
You know what I'd like to be? I mean if I had my goddam choice? An animator. An animation artist. That's all I'd do all day. I'd just animate stuff and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy.
So I started doing animation and really got into it. I went to school in San Francisco studying filmmaking -- made Independent Animated Films.
I got all kinds of festival prizes and grants and all.
They gave me the Student Academy Award in 1975 - look it up - they must keep records of this stuff, for crissakes...
Thinking about making Experimental Animation and Underground Films makes me as excited as hell. I swear to god I'm a madman.
Then, in the late 70's everything disappeared. The entire scene ended. All the goddam distributors, festivals and venues disappeared. I mean, they suddenly just weren't there any more.
Here's an example of what I'm talking about.
Overnight, the key publication "Filmmaker's Newsletter" goes from articles about experimental film and all like, "The Cosmic Cinema of Jordan Belson" to commercially oriented articles like "How to Film a Wedding" (Tip -- make sure to have a shot of them cutting the cake). Really depressing, but it was pretty funny, in a way.
Like, I guess I was supposed to take this as a cue to become some kind of goddam "manager" or something now.
I kept on making goddam films anyway! But I hated the messy paint, scratches on the cels, goddam reflections on the cels, fingerprints on the cels. The cat walks in the goddam paint and gets it all over everything. I'm not kidding. It's depressing. It really is.
Film has so many things that can go wrong - processing, dirt, hair in the gate. It's a goddam nightmare. If there's one thing I hate, it's the movies. Don't even mention them to me.
I really need a goddam computerized digital system for crissake.
Computers were available, but they cost a million dollars and you need a roomful of scientists to operate them. I swear to God.
I went to a demonstration of one of these machines, but they knew I couldn't afford to buy their crummy system, so they kind of ignored me.
There were a couple of guys there that were phony as hell. Both of them had "Calvin Klein" embroidered on their shirts, as if it was their own goddam name, or something. One guy was the kind of a phony that has to give himself room when he talks. He kept saying he would buy two or three of these systems right away. What a goddam phony.
Then, in 1984 the Macintosh was introduced...
Everything started changing then. It really did.
Apple came up with this fantastic program for the Mac -- Hypercard. You can't make a goddam Movie yet, but it was possible to make interactive animation by yourself.
Eventually I made this goddam Japanese Language learning program with Hypercard. I found out later that hundreds of people were simultaneously creating Japanese Language learning programs with Hypercard. Who the hell knew? Not me.
Things gradually got better and better. I know it sounds corny, but they really did.
I was mailing out interactive animations on floppy discs for crissakes...
Then they started making programs where you could make your own 3D animation just like those million dollar setups with the roomful of scientists.
It was really worth waiting for. I'm not kidding, it really was.
I really get a kick out of making Multimedia pieces. I really do. I can make the entire thing myself -- sound, programming, art, everything so much better than that old film style animation.
Then Multimedia suddenly disappeared overnight. I swear it did. It was just gone. Like when all your data is erased in a goddam drive crash. It made me feel sad as hell.
That was OK because Virtual Reality came along as the Next Big Thing.
And then Virtual Reality disappeared - gone in a flash like Multimedia and the Independent film Scene...
But then at the same time Virtual Reality went away, the goddam Internet appeared, for crissakes!!
For 10 years I had a website where you could download those little interactive animations...
But the Internet has expanded - and become faster. Now you can play High Definition Movies right off the net!
I get excited as hell thinking about it. I really do.
