Valley tire (Coquille) 3 mths. Duties changing car and truck tires.... I was fired for tipping a car over and causing an accident by forgetting to tighten lugnuts.
Georgia Pacific (coquille) 3 summers. Duties included: Pulling green chain, cleanup, and fucking with the lifers (millrats)
I now work with people you know like helping them and stuff.
Website
I used to have one. I still do I think.
Influences
Tony Danza PF Changs Cough syrup Ritalin funny tv blooper shows loud laughing radio morning guys Fear genocide and polka polka polka musik.
Members
Freemasons New world order roadside nazis finding bigfoot society and the episcopal church.
TV Shows
Andy griffith show (opie’s aid ridden cousin) Simon and simon ( molested child) The love boat ( Isacc’s cabin boy) Little House on the prairie (wolf boy) Good morning south dakota ( hungover comedian) The Man Show
(stooge work)
YouTube clip of James Inman drinking my urine, Down and Dirty with Jim Norton... and I’m starring in a documentary for A&E about addiction I’m not sure what the title is yet anyways gotta score some unleaded latex paint (prefer gold but any color will do)
Films
As a child I was in many short beta films. Filmed by the infamous Pat Spleen.
A&E movie (untitled) about addiction.
Driving uninsured and leaving the scene of an accident.
Worst Intervention Ever
Andy Andrist's Interests
General
About Andy
Andy Andrist draws his remarkable comedic courage from the same place he extracts his unique world view: Straight out of another bottle of domestic light beer.
His is a world overrun with overweight women, trailer parks, special athletes, Wal-Marts and death. Needless to say, Andy’s world is trashy, poignantly idiotic and friggin’ hilarious.
Andy’s genius comes from his understanding that people everywhere just want to stop thinking, get drunk, watch the game, and maybe get a sloppy piece of action before tomorrow becomes another day. So even when Andrist riffs on women who lie their way to handicapped parking permits, or when he talks about betting on Special Olympians, he’s really not making fun of those people. His real disdain is reserved for people like you and me, the Average Joes who are satisfied with being, well, average.
During Andrist’s two seasons on the writing staff of Comedy Central’s The Man Show, he kept the censors so busy redlining his outrageous sketch ideas that carpal tunnel syndrome became more rampant than the common cold. That experience, in addition to his many years as a top protégé of comedy’s neutron bomb, Doug Stanhope, has Andrist primed to break loose as a headliner in his own right. His special brand of enlightenment will make you see your world – and yourself – differently.
-
Remember the first time your parents left you home alone and within the first hour you somehow found your way into your big brother’s 2 Live Crew albums, your dad’s secret porn stash, and your mom’s flask of Goldschlager she kept hidden inside a pair of her
fancy shoes she told you to never go near?
Well, all innocence is once again re-lost as cerebral raunch-teur, Andy Andrist, awakens these repressed feelings of misguided-guilt-ridden-joy with overwhelmingly filth-ridden exorbitance on Stand Up! Records latest release "Dumb It Down For The Masses."
Andrist offers the world an easy way to enjoy life and solve all of life’s problems all in one CD… by dumbing it down… and drinking… a lot. Andrist invites his audience into a world of booze induced activities where real anarchy lives and retarded people are brought along for the fun of it and not just for a handicapped parking spot and purposes of political correctness. And, even though this CD in itself is a gift to society, make sure you stick around for the exclusive bonus track where Andrist imparts his priceless wisdom about gays and God onto an audience of Quakers… seriously.
And just like when you were left home alone for the first time, after listening to "Dumb It Down For The Masses," you might have to watch Sesame Street and force yourself to cry in order to regain your sweet childhood innocence and look your parents in the eye. --
Stand Up Records"
Winter Special
Stuff a Speedo with my Stand-Up! Records CD
,
"DUMB IT DOWN FOR THE MASSES,"
FOR ONLY $10 (+2$shipping in the U.S.)
The manager at my cd store is a real dumb fuck and ordered way to many copies of Andy Andrist's " Dumb it Down for the Masses" Now he's in the hospital and I'm moving inventory at unheard of prices.
$10 plus $2 for Shipping and I'll send you the troubled comedians final words. No need for Paypal just send me your check, money(stick cash in an envelope) or $12 worth of ?? ...And I'll send you the self destructive comedians most troubling words ever recorded.
A CD that has been banned at Burning Man. A must have for any subversive fuckup on the verge of self collapse.
Send your $ and return address to...
Andy Andrist P.O. Box 50482 Eugene, Oregon 97405.
Andy’s genius comes from his understanding that people everywhere just want to stop thinking, get drunk, watch the game, and maybe get a sloppy piece of action before tomorrow becomes another day. Track Listings 1. Intro by Doug Stanhope 2. Dumb it Down 3. Special Olympics 4. Handicapped Parking 5. Queer Rights 6. War on the Homeless 7. Killers for Hire 8. Coon Hunter 9. Death 10. The Carnival 11. Too Many Erections 12. Earth First 13. Tragedy Channel 14. Wal-Mart Sucks 15. Hidden Track
Whats the matter Andy? When I'm feeling vicious I like to dress up as the Grim Reaper and visit nursing homes. It's amazing the effect one can have wearing a long hooded robe with a skateboard beneath it.
7c3g $100 BAR TAB GIVEAWAY!! Text "YAC" to 95495 or go to yourareacode.com to register to win. New winner selected every Friday. Don't miss out. Good Luck!!
<br />Email your vote for HSHJ to eugenechosen@yahoo.com and show your support for the hardest-working band in Eugene! We want to play for you at WOW Hall May 16th!<br />http://www.eugenechosen.com
God damn man, I can't believe you're hitting up Albion, ID in a couple weeks. I've been to shows at Sage Mountain, those yuppies are going to fucking shit their pants when they hear your act. I'm fucking there.
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