Meanwhile another band of merry minstrels were battling Satan's powerful army from the Holy lands known as Wheaton. The minstrels were powerful and battled Satan with their mighty frontman Dan the Ginormous. Things were going well until his comrades were mercilessly slaughtered in battle by the Banshee Scream of Lucifer himself. Around the same time Matty the Fatty went out to start a new band when Eric the Fallen, Satan's general of Terrible Lyricism recruited him and Mike the Braindead for one of his newest crap punk bands. Together they turned out generic noise for Satan's army of bad music.

We continue to find Jerry the plump wallowing in a den of his own misery and feces. Dave the Scrawny, fresh from the battle in the jungles of Chicago, decided to lift the morale of Jerry the Plump by taking him to Wisconsin to buy some tasty SCHNO-kones (which taste like rainbows ). After Jerry the Plump washed himself for the first time in months, he decided to call his Best of Comrades Dan the Ginormous to go get more SCHNO-kones. Dan the Ginormous said, "I have a better idea, let's form the Best Band in Middle Earth! Then let's get some SCHNO-kones. Now all we need is a bassist." Jerry the Plump decided to pay Matty the Fatty a visit but when he got there, Matty the Fatty was nothing more than an empty shell of a Zombie, saying things like"GAP" and "MTV." Jerry the plump was horrified and thought, "What will snap him out of it?" EUREKA! Jerry the Plump whispered to Dan the Ginormous, and all of the sudden Holy Diver came blasting out of Dan's amplification device. And like the snap of a young Asian's hymen, Matty the Fatty was de-zombified and ready for some TASHTY SCHNO-kones.

After Just one practice, Mandie the Awesome gave them their fist show. With a set-list as mighty as their broadswords, they slayed the evil lurking in Eric the Fallen, who immediately asked to join the band. When all of the evil was taken from Eric the Fallen, he was reborn as Eladio, the lost member of Los Lobos. The mighty axes of Eladio and Dan the Ginormous, mixed with the Earth Rumbling Bass of Matty the Fatty and the mighty thunder and lightning created from Jerry the Plump's magic wands only remained strong enough for a short time, as Eladio fell prey to the Evil Lord's dark spell and left the band. But a ray of light soon appeared through the black and clouded skies of oblivion, and through the ruins of a once-powerful force appeared Curtis, he of the formerly green hair, whose axe shined of the crimson blood of his enemies. He joined forces with the discouraged troupe, and before long they were pumping out pure tunes of righteous rock. So I say unto all loyal followers of the Chunnel: The Evil Army of Satan will be kept at bay as long as you, the loyal listener, remain true... and stop purchasing Fall Out Boy CDs!!!