Last year at this time, connections to the newly-released Frozen Pictures motion picture comedy Cloud 9 proved to be startlingly influential when it came to Academy Awards® nominees and winners. The six degrees of Kevin Bacon definitely made way for the two-degrees-or-less connections to Cloud 9. This year, as we approach Sunday's 79th Academy Awards®, insiders have hoped to forget The Number 23-- and look Cloud 9 to for more winning links.
Unfortunately, we don’t have the energy or time to pick through the nominees ties this season, so we’ll be probably check in after Martin Scorsese, Peter O’Toole, Helen Mirren, Jackie Earle Haley, Jennifer Hudson and Babel pick up the major awards®—how’s that for a little controversy? But it's clear the beach volleyball stripper comedy, written and produced by Burt Kearns & Brett Hudson of Frozen Pictures along with Academy Award® winner (The Godfather, Million Dollar Baby) Albert S. Ruddy, and starring Burt Reynolds, DL Hughley, Paul Rodriguez, Angie Everhart and Gary Busey is becoming more influential than ever as it now plays on pay cable systems around the world.
And in tribute to the Oscar®’s ad campaign, May We Quote You?, which centers on memorable movie quotes, we give you a few of great lines from the Cloud 9 script. Thanks to Brett Hudson, Burt Kearns and their partner and old pal, Academy Award winner® (The Godfather, Million Dollar Baby) Albert S. Ruddy, the team that wrote this keeper and sports perennial:
"I gotta re-invent myself... do something big--
something that says, ‘Billy Cole’s back!’"-- BURT REYNOLDS as BILLY COLE"In this town, you're Mexican, you’re just
an ordinary gardener-- you're Asian, you’re
a landscape designer."--PAUL RODRIGUEZ as WONG"You talking about us hooking on boats?"--KENYA MOORE as CHAMPAGNE"I’m supposed to say stuff like,
'When the going gets tough, the
tough get going...' But I’m not
gonna say that. That’s shit.
So forget it! Forget the other
team. Play to the crowd. Pretend it’s the biggest strip
club in Vegas!" --BURT REYNOLDS
as BILLY COLE"I don’t know ‘bout you, but I’d rather
be known as a big weiner than a big whiner!"--D.L. HUGHLEY as TENSPOT"Let’s kick some rich white
hire-my-cousins-for-minimum-wage
westside ass!"--PATRICIA de LEON as CORAZON"It’s Billy Cole’s way... or the highway."--BURT REYNOLDS as BILLY COLE"I don’t dislike you Billy...
you’re just not a heavy lifter."--ANGIE EVERHART
as JULIE"They're not hookers. They're strippers!"--BURT REYNOLDS
as BILLY COLE
Good luck to all the Oscar® nominees! Especially to The Departed... whose costar Martin Sheen narrated the Frozen Pictures documentary series, All The Presidents' Movies... which was produced by Cloud 9's writer-producers, Brett Hudson & Burt Kearns... and to Letters from Iwo Jima director Clint Eastwood, whose Million Dollar Baby, as we'd mentioned, was produced by Albert S. Ruddy-- ah, there we go again...
Incredible!
Oscar®'s Best Picture nominees once again have direct connections to Cloud 9!
2008 brings another list of Academy Award® Best Picture nominees and, onceagain, another list of incredible, amazing connections to Cloud 9, the hilarious 2006 beach volleyball stripper comedy-social commentary starring screen icon Burt Reynolds and written and produced by our pals (and editor) Brett Hudson and Burt Kearns of Frozen Pictures along with Academy Award®-winning producer (The Godfather, Million Dollar Baby) Albert S. Ruddy.
In this bleak, depressing strike-ridden movie season, many in Hollywood have wiled away the time playing the parlor game Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, linking the intense actor to any other actor in the industry through six steps or less. But when it comes to the influential Cloud 9 (with a phenomenal cast also includes Paul Rodriguez, D.L. Hughley, Angie Everhart, Gabrielle Reece, Paul Garito, Gary Busey, Tony Danza and Tom Arnold) the connection to the great ones can be made in one link—or less-- and the phenomenon has brightened up a dreary list of Best Picture noms!
ATONEMENT
Atonement director Joe Wright made his debut with the short called The End. That was also the name of the classic 1978 black comedy that starred and was directed by Burt Reynolds. Atonement star Vanessa Redgrave appeared in the 1992 Merchant-Ivory classic, Howards End with Anthony Hopkins, whose name, clothing and alleged beach house play key plot points in Cloud 9.
JUNO
Star Rainn Wilson starred with Paul Rodriguez in Mario van Peebles’ 2003 documentary/homage to his father, BAADASSSSS! How to Get the Man's Foot Outta Your Ass.
MICHAEL CLAYTON
Michael Clayton star (and Best Actor nominee) George Clooney appeared with Cloud 9 costar Paul Rodriguez on the 2003 TV special, Playboy’s 50th Anniversary Celebration. He also appeared as “Joe” in the 1991 TV series Baby Talk, in which Tony Danza, who appears in Cloud 9, supplied the voice of a baby.
NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
Costar Barry Corbin appeared in 1982’s The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, which starred Cloud 9’s Burt Reynolds. On March 7, 2003, Star Woody Harrelson and Cloud 9 star D.L. Hughley shared the panel in the third episode of Season 1 of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher.
THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ten years ago, Cloud 9 star Burt Reynolds was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor and won a Golden Globe Award for his role in Blood director Paul Thomas Anderson’s breakthrough film, Boogie Nights.
Cloud 9 stars Burt Reynolds as Billy Cole, a down-and-out conman living in Malibu who hits on the idea of starting a beach volleyball team comprised entirely of strippers! Hilarity most definitely ensues.
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Cloud 9 movie tribute's Details
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Cloud 9 movie tribute pays tribute to a classic sexy summer sports comedy with an all-star cast and terrific script Posted at 7:19 AM Dec 16, 2008 view more
MPAA Rated: R for nudity, sexual content, and language Running Time: 93 min.
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Cast: Burt Reynolds, D.L. Hughley, Paul Wesley, Paul Rodriguez, Angie Everhart, Gabrielle Reece, Kenya Moore, Marne Patterson, Katheryn Winnick, Patricia De Leon, Rick Overton, Pat Finn, Steve Monroe, Luis Chavez, Ken Garito, Gary Busey (cameo), Tony Danza (cameo), Tom Arnold (cameo)
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Producers: Albert S. Ruddy, Brett Hudson, Burt KearnsScreenplay: Brett Hudson, Burt Kearns, Albert S. RuddyDirector: Harry Basil
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In case you've been waiting for Burt Reynolds (The Longest Yard, Without a Paddle) to finally make good on the comeback he should have made after getting an Oscar nomination for his work in Boogie Nights, you can stop waiting -- he's obviously given up. To think that Burt was once reported to have claimed Boogie Nights as the worst movie he's ever done and refuse to promote it. Burt fires the agent that got him that brass ring gig, and he keeps the one that has him starring in trash like The Dukes of Hazzard and Cloud 9??
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I'm guessing either Burt needs a new car or someone has photos of him in compromising positions with a transvestite prostitute, because I can't think of any other single reason why he would ever be attracted to such a terrible, sensationalist idea for a movie. Now, there are other famous celebrities in this film, like D.L. Hughley (Scary Movie 3, Chasing Papi), Paul Rodriguez (A Cinderella Story, Blood Work), Gary Busey, Tony Danza, Tom Arnold, and beach volleyball champ Gabrielle Reece, so what's their excuse? Other than the fact that they are all sadly desperate for work, my guess is that they only want the chance to work with a legend like Burt Reynolds. I want to know where they've set up a fund to help poor Burt financially is, because I'm willing to donate what I can to pay him enough to never have to embarrass himself making z-grade schlock like this ever again.
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To think that one of the screenwriters and producers of this film is Albert Ruddy, the man that had just accepted the Academy Award for Best Picture the year before for Million Dollar Baby. Not that his credentials as a writer merit respect, as his biography includes such tripe as the kangaroo boxing film Matilda and one of the biggest flops of its era, Megaforce. Of course, once you see that he also worked with Burt on The Longest Yard and Cannonball Run II, and you can make an assumption that Burt might be doing this film as a favor to a friend, but then, what kind of friend would allow a former superstar in desperate need of a comeback to star in a film about volleyball playing strippers??
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Yes, let me elaborate on this plot, as it is about the funniest thing about the movie. Burt Reynolds plays a con man named Billy Cole, who is in dire need of cash flow now that his bills are mounting and he's facing eviction from his Malibu home. One day he gets an idea that is sure to make him tons of money, so he heads out to the local strip club to lure in some of the dancers, because his idea is to finally make beach volleyball the hottest sport around. With hot babes in skimpy outfits drawing the crowds, Billy couldn't care less whether the girls win or lose, as long as the cash keeps rolling in. However, the girls begin to get tired of being thought of as a joke, and they want a shot at being respected for their abilities more so than their bodies, and tension begins to mount.
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Cloud 9 has only one angle, and one angle only -- to show sexy babes in skimpy outfits as much as possible. In between there is a story, but make no mistake, the whole plot is constructed in order to get these women down to a tiny bikini, when they aren't wearing nothing at all. Burt Reynolds does star, but for all intents and purposes, they could have hired a crash test dummy and still drawn the same audience, since those that have followed Burt's career have learned to ignore most of his output since the late 1970s. At least, I'm sure Burt is hoping they ignore it, as there's no way that he could think anyone really wants to see him in what amounts to nothing more than a sexploitation flick.
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Remove the gratuitous boob and butt shots, and you don't have a movie here, folks. The only humor to be found comes from some of the ad-libs of the performers, who all play their underwritten roles in ways that the producers of this film probably cared little about. Paul Rodriguez has the worst role in the film, as Juan, the Mexican landscaper that pretends to be Asian because they get better jobs. Apparently, one thing that makes him funny, other than the very racist impression of Asians he espouses, is the fact that he can't tell the difference between Chinese and Japanese. Well, I hope that is part of the joke, because if it were written that way unintentionally, the thoughts in the minds that conceived of such a character are probably more offensive than one could believe could still be made in a motion picture today.
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Then there are the cameo appearances from Busey, Arnold, and Danza. In what has to be the most silly way to get famous faces in a film, there is absolutely no reason for any of these three to be here. Busey has a scene cleaning up after his poop happy Chihuahua. Tom Arnold walks in to drink a beverage. Tony Danza peeps in to a party next door (perhaps a reference to Dudley Moore's character in Blake Edwards' 10?). Absolutely nothing is done with any of their characters save to find ways to get them onscreen.
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The definition of the phrase, "cloud nine", means a state of elation or happiness, but that's obviously a bad title for this movie. There's no one that should be happy about seeing Burt Reynolds and company at the nadir of their careers doing what they can to peddle T&A for not-even-worthy-of-Skinemax straight-to-video entertainment.
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Actually, come to think of it, I can think of a way to make this title appropriate. Burt has done quite a few movies with a numeral in the title: Smokey and the Bandit 2, Smokey and the Bandit Part 3, Cannonball Run 2, Cop and a 1/2, Universal Soldier 3, Crazy 6, and now, Cloud 9; all of them rank among the worst films of his entire career. This makes for a great rule of thumb on which of his movies to avoid in the future. I think it's safe to say, we've got your number now, Burt.
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Qwipster's rating: 1 1/2 stars
'CLOUD 9' NAILS IMMIGRATION ISSUEEXT. WONG’S NURSERY – LATER THAT MORNING
Billy enters, past the flatbed truck parked in front, on the way into the nursery. The place looks like a bad Japanese poster. Some bonsai trees, little cast cement fountains and large paper umbrellas.
NURSERY WORKERS move plants and carry out other tasks. ALL OF THEM ARE MEXICAN, BUT WEAR ORIENTAL SHIRTS AND THE INVERTED CONICAL HATS OF ASIAN RICE FARMERS.
The owner, WONG, hands a plant to a CUSTOMER and approaches from the nursery. WONG IS A COMPACT, SQUAT CHICANO WITH A PENCIL LINE MUSTACHE AND LAID-BACK, ZEN-LIKE MANNER. He speaks in an Asian accent, loud enough to make sure the customer can hear his routine.
WONG
Honorable Mr. Cole, you very late.
BILLY
(winces)
Enough of the accent, Gonzalez, okay? It’s bad, just bad.
WONG
(whispers)
Hey man, I told you a hundred times... in this town, you're Mexican, you’re a gardener--
BILLY
(overlaps)
Yeah, yeah, I know...
WONG & BILLY
...you're Asian, you’re a landscape designer.
Wong smiles, relieved. Accent returns.
As LA high school kids used a recent protest against immigration restrictions as a Ferris Bueller excuse, we offer our support to the protesters by reminding everyone how the motion picture Cloud 9, written and produced by Burt Kearns and Brett Hudson of Frozen Pictures and Academy Award winner Albert S. Ruddy, is in the forefront of Southern California’s immigration debate with its sly social satire.
In the hit sports comedy, now on Fox DVD, Sinaloa-born Latino comedy pioneer, Air Force veteran, social activist and Cesar Chavez pallbearer Paul Rodriguez plays an apparently stereotypical “Chinaman” named Wong. But there's a surprise twist in the character’s arc—which may be one reason Rodriguez has avoided criticism for taking on this very controversial role.
Rodriguez says of his character: “Wong is more confused than the Bush Administration… a Mexican guy who thinks he’s Wong for the wong reasons. He figures that if you’re Mexican you’re just a gardener, but if you’re Asian, you’re a landscaper!" ( Rodriguez says more on the Frozen Pictures blog.)
On the Frozen Pictures website, writer-producer Kearns calls the Wong character “a little bit of social satire. Based on the plight of the very hard-working Latino day laborers and gardeners in Malibu and Pacific Palisades. If you live on the Westside of LA, you know what I mean."
The anti-immigration hysteria whipped up by talk radio, cable news and political yahoos is a smokescreen to cover real crimes like the extended stay in Iraq. The Southern California economy and way of life couldn't exist without the sweat of these people who are underpaid and ignored. Saturday’s massive protest in downtown Los Angeles is a monumental occurrence in this local history—and a testament to the power of Spanish-language radio (which sent out the call to arms). Yet of course, it's being woefully under-reported and analyzed in both the LA Times and on local TV news.
Cloud 9 is an uproarious sports comedy starring Burt Reynolds as the coach of an all-stripper beach volleyball team. It's available for sale or rental-- and includes exclusive extras produced by the Frozen Pictures team.)
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