Current line-up and charges:
Jonnie Hell-drums and coveting his neighbors' wives.
Amberjack Rice-bass and operating an improperly registered farm vehicle.
Scott Lutz-pedal steel, guitar,keyboards and having unprotected sex resulting in full term pregnancy.
Davy Jones-guitar and serial musical misappropriation.
Jeff Smith-vocals and public exposure.
these are the various members of the band through the years:
Guitar Players:Stevie Tombstone, Jukebox, Harry Wilson, Davy Jones, Tom Rowsey
Bass Players: Flynn Mauthe,Buff Parrot,Dick Hays(R.I.P.), Chris Gates,Hunter Darby, Paul Harpel
Drummers: Pat Deason, Arthur Hays, Pat Doyle, Rich Malle, Wade Driver, Stan Moore(R.I.P.), Tennyson LeMaster, Steve McCarthy
"Singer': Jeff Smith
Harmonica: Jeff "Walter" Daniels
Sounds Like
Hard Corn Crossdressers in love with George Jones, Beer and Mushrooms
Bio coming soon. Until then, enjoy the liner notes from the CD:
The Hickoids were a true rarity among purveyors of 20th century popular music; a band that can honestly be described as original. That's not to say they were indescribable; those looking for a quick genre nail to hang them on frequently use the term cow-punk (or its interchangeable cousin psychobilly, or even the Trouser Press Music Guides suggested phrase white thrash), and those people arent wrong. Now, the Hickoids certainly weren't the best known cow-punk band in the world, and they probably werent even the first. There's no arguing, however, that they were the MOST, as in simultaneously and consistently the most cow and the most punk band in the country.
Even so, that term has become so overused as to be meaningless these days, applied to everyone from lowbrow novelties like Jon Mr. Egyptian Wayne and Elvis Hitler to insurgent country heroes like Son Volt and Wilco. So nope, cow-punk just doesnt properly nail down the horseshoe on branding the Hickoids. Instead, theres a much simpler, shorter word that does the trick nicely: The Hickoids are pure, unadulterated corn.
In one sense, sure, were talking about corn as in the old-fashioned, Homer & Jethro/Lonzo & Oscar/Geezinslaw Brothers corny country comedy kind; the Hickoids were never reluctant to blast out incendiary versions of the theme songs from TVs country comedies Green Acres, Hee Haw, and Petticoat Junction, nor were they ashamed to mount the stage dressed like a bunch of rejected extras from those shows (after all, guitarist Davy Jones is said to have given the band its name when he described a dumpster-diving derelict as that poor hickoid son of a bitch!).
Conversely, though, were talking just as much about corn of the gut-blowin, head-throbbin, potted-on-moonshine-likker-from-an-old-fruit-jar kind. The self-same kind of corn that, as singer Jeff Smith shrieks in the song Corntaminated just might make you go blind! And the kind that youd have to be deaf to ignore.
The Hickoids are one of those bands that have had as many band members as paying gigs, if not more. The first shows by the band featured only two members of whats known as the classic studio lineup, the wiry Smith and incendiary lead guitarist Jukebox, and at various times in the Hickoids timeline, the live line-up has included members of the Big Boys, the Dicks, the Offenders, the Wannabes, Poison 13, and too many others to mention. Their legend first grew in fits and starts, with membership constantly shifting, tours getting cut short, and a couple of brain-shattering tracks (Corntaminated and the beastly Animal Husbandry) helping spread the news via appearances on compilation albums issued by Smiths record label Matako Mazuri.
From their humble origins as what Jukebox referred to as really just kind of a drunk band, by the time the Hickoids headed in to he studio to record their debut LP Were In It For the Corn they had cemented their sound, their style, and for the most part their personnel. The cornballs had decided it was time to get serious.
Combining members of San Antonio noisemakers the Ideals and the Bang Gang, the WIIFtC album Hickoids lineup consisted of the Iggy-like Thin White Duke of Hazzard Jeff Smith at the microphone, the armed and dangerous Jukebox and gravel-voiced, turkey-necked Davy Jones on guitars, backed by the rhythm section of perpetually intoxicated teddy-bear Richard Hays on bass and his brother, probation-chained Arthur Hays on drums.
The LP is nothing less than a total onslaught of hard-edged, saw-toothed punk-informed rock, with the cow side of the equation sublimated into the song titles (U Kin Lead a Hoss To Water, But He Still Drinks On His Own), drawled in-joke lyrics (Goin on a trip across this country Gonna come back with a case of RAWHIDE!) and the dual attack of Arthurs clippety-clop horseplay and boxs cauterizing chicken-scratch guitar riffs. The music is as savage and unrelenting as that of any somber, angry punk band from the East or West coast, but the subtle light-hearted touches give the disc an overall feel that is unmistakably Texan; all throughout the album, you swear you can smell mesquite chips burning in the BBQ pit!
Arthur Hays continuing troubles with John Law led to his handing over the drum seat to the more-than-capable Wade Driver for the recording of the follow-up EP, Hard Corn, as well as for road gigs into the foreseeable future. The four-song, seven-inch record found the boys with their tongues lodged further into their cheeks than before, presenting two new originals and two ear-battering covers of 70s rock radio classics, the Eagles Take It Easy and Carl Douglas (slightly renamed) Corn-Foo Fighting. If the ballad Driftwood 40-23 threw fans for a bit of a loop with its faux-sensitive lyrics (Bought a rubber in the truckstop bathroom, Saw your number scratched in the aluminum), the overall effect of the raunchy, raw new tracks (Smiths vocal histrionics are so shrill and painful on Take It Easy that youd think hed been gargling with un-cooked popcorn kernels!) served to cement the quintets reputation as unpredictable but always entertaining.
The Hickoids would never make another record quite like Were In It For the Corn and Hard Corn again. The next few years would see the departure of Jukebox and an increasing tendency to decrease the punk in favor of more cow. Records like the drag queen-friendly Waltz A Cross-Dress Texas and the special holiday single We Got the Eggnog If You Got the Whisky found the now-quartet expanding their sound into new and ever-stranger territories, from pseudo-reggae beats (Mr. Punk Rock Voo-Doo Man) to straight covers of country classics (Webb Pierces There Stands the Glass). But that, as they say, is another story; one that will have to be told on the next CD, as the saga of those hootin hollerin Hickoids
corn-tinues!
I don't think I did, was it recently? isn't it Polygamy Worldwide Enterprises? All is super quite good here, starting to get singers to cover my songs it appears. Playing in two good bands, Chasing The Krakheads (with a girls singer and Dutch rhythm section (and singer) and, The Krakheads which is me singing with a Finish bass player and Italian drummer. Getting some backup singers in that band right away (The Krakettes). Did a" tracks" gig last week in a club downtown. I made mixes minus the vox and solos and played along with my tracks. Went quite OK, I want to try it again soon. What else, sent the African home, been getting laid good by a Dutch woman may age (a bit hot I might add, like me!) What else... workin 8-9 hours per WEEK walken, walken'..... I guess tht is about it, Fuck Xmas, I await you......, brother Ron (GP)
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