Bob "Cock-Boy" Ford on Guit-thingy, beer, and wine.
When the revolution starts, the artist formerly known as Cockboy (no, he didn't lose it; he just stopped referring to his dick in the third person) is one motherfucker you'll want in your foxhole. Not for his extensive weapons collection, not for his ribald sense of humor or his unique ability to survive on recycled nuts and corn, although they're reason enough.
No. You'd want this fucker on your team 'cuz he could tell you The Squires did "Going All the Way" or the real reason Roky Erickson's cheese slipped off his cracker. And if he should happen to have a guitar with him, then he'd probably play you a song or two (about how many he knows) and write several thousand others. By the time you beg him to stop, you'd be doubled over with diarrhea, uh, I mean laughter.
Bob is the spiritual leader of Jupiter 2. (That and a dime will get you a phone call; except in Maine where it's 20 cents.) He's held this post previously in the Night of the Surfing Spies and Gandhi's Lunchbox. That might not look real great on a resume, but hell, it's kept him out of jail or from having intercourse with dead girls. Umm... Well, at least he's not in jail.
Randy Sobad on Bass.
Harlan "H-Bomb" Miller on guitar and putting up with our crap.
"H-Bomb" Miller is the guy they invented the term "guitar slinger" for. This Cali native took the Ventura highway down (way down) to the fertile Oxnard punk scene. (Nardcore anyone?) After palling around with some Angry Samoans and absorbing as much Hendrix and Eno as any teenage dope smoker could, H came east. A true bi coastal citizen.
The rest, as they say (whoever the fuck" they" are), is H-story. After joining with Colletta in the seminal NH art-punk band Nervous Disorder, H went on to sling his mighty six-string wherever the muse and the money led him. (The mighty Ultramaroons and the terminally forgettable Gandhi's Lunchbox to name but two; we ain't got all day.) You wanna hear a guitar solo, listen to the Queers "Monster Zero" on "Day Late..." Joe Queer can go fuck himself.
His latest labor of love ("Where's the check?") is the latest incantation of the "Deuce". This dude kicks it some kind of old school. And hey how the hell else can this bastard keep that styling Cadillac on the road?
Little-Dougie Pork-Sword on Bass.
Chest-clutchin' Tom Colletta on the Microphone, theramin, Harmonica, aspirin, nitro pills, defribulator, insulin, beer, gin, and vodka.
An asshole from the git go. Dirty, diabetic and delinquent, shove a candy bar up his ass and he'll talk for days or sing for years.
The little guy with the loud voice. The "Hunan" PA system. The fortune cookie read: "Coretta say: You don't know ryric, make it up." Tom has insulted more people than Rush Limbaugh, most of them the fat fuck's fans. Smega dittos.
The Mick Jagger of rural New Hampshire and what passes for Urban Hampshire, Colletta is the only person to scare "the shit out of" GG Allin. May he rest in piss. Colletta is Incontinence 'R Us. The Ex-Lax Cowboy, Colletta never met a cake or face he didn't like to sit on.
The lead singer for The Clique, Nervous Disorder, Gandhi's Lunchbox and The Dildozer Punk Band Show Jr. and every keg party that's ever occurred in the Northeast over the past two decades, this is obviously one alcoholic frontman with too much time on his hands.
Given to discussing life, love and why the New England Patriots will suck for perpetuity, Colletta is a rare breed, finishing your last beer at 4 AM and eating your last bowl of Krispies at 8.
B. Coleman on Bass.
Obviously poor Brian was either extremely bored or extremely stupid or both when he agreed to join The Deuce. A veteran of many real bands, perhaps Brian has a death wish.
"How the hell did you convince Brian to join you guys?"
Once a highly respected artist and musician, this career move has thrown all that right in the shitter. While Brian has not quite attained the level of severe alcoholism required to be a long-term member of The Deuce, he is working long and hard to speed up the destruction of his liver.
Though his simplistic approach to bass playing may be construed as lack of talent, don't be fooled. His mediocrity knows no bounds. Look closely the next time you observe Brian. Notice those pieces of paper he is constantly flipping through between songs. To the untrained eye they may seem like song charts, they are in reality pictures of little girls and donkeys taken off the internet. Ah, sweet inspiration.
Rodger "Bald Bastard" Shosa on the drums and the booze.
The question is: "Rodger, exactly when did you lose your mind?"
After the Jupiter 2 had been safely retired from active duty for a year, it was this skin slapping sick-o who decided the "Deuce" should fly again. It didn't take much for him to convince his partners in crime, Bob and Tom, to re-up for another tour of doody.
Shortly thereafter, Rodg had the hood of his car, A Ford Probe now officially known as "The Deuce", emblazoned with the cover art of the group's debut demo tape. Many beers and many paint markers later, legendary underground artist and so-so bass player B-Face of the Queers had completed the task, making Rodger the envy of every low rider in Newmarket.
"So what about his drumming?" you, the twisted web browser, might ask. Who cares. This guy's got more nicknames than testicles. If you're that anal, for the record he's played with The Five Balls of Power, The Bruisers, Bobhouse, The Queers, The Murderers and Spirit Varnish. If that ain't a drum slut, than Traci Lords don't know her way around a stiff dick.
As this schoolgirl's nightmare says, "Jupiter 2 is the band you've been waiting all your life for." "Ah, yeah."
Rodger's favorite hobby is getting really drunk, going home and blowing Chunks.
It's all your fault, Rodger.
Portsmouth, NH is a small seacoast city that is right in-between Boston, MA and Portland ME, and it is less than an hour away from each. It has always had a reputation as a hotbed for great folk music. In the mid 80's to the early 90's, Portsmouth also had an interesting alternative music scene. Leading the way was a band called Gandhi's Lunchbox which was founded by Bob Ford and Tom Colletta along with Chris Fortier, Scott Wilcox and Omicron 4. The band was an odd mix of personalities and music. Part garage-punk, part 60's pop with some Jazz and 70's metal thrown in, it was a very original mix of some disparate parts. Playing this original music in a town known for folk, blues and cover bands was difficult at first. They had a lot more early success in Boston, Portland and at various colleges around New England than in their home town. Then other original bands started cropping up and soon the "scene" was established. One of these other bands was the great funky/twangy Bob House.
Gandhi's Lunchbox/Bob House shows are still things of legend. Both bands had more than a healthy love of the obscene. Watching one of these shows was probably a bit like watching The Fugs in the 60's except the music was louder, faster and more things were likely to be either set on fire or pissed on or both. Hopefully in that order.
All good things must come to an end of course. By the early 90's as the whole Red Hot Chile Peppers/funk/rap bull shit finally hit New Hampshire, Gandhi's Lunchbox, although on the verge of a real record contract, self destructed. Bob House held on valiantly for a short while and then they died as well.
1992-Something To Do
Bob Ford
Looking for something to do a few months after the band assumed room temperature, Gandhi's Lunchbox's guitarist/song writer Bob Ford decided to start a cover band to make some money. He enlisted Tom and Scott from the defunct Lunchbox and the crazy but talented drummer Rodger Shosa from the dead Bob House. He also asked Portsmouth rock veteran Jim Tierney to play guitar. Halfway thru the first practice, everyone seemed bored doing just covers (96 Tears, You're Gonna Miss Me, Sometimes Good Guys Don't Wear White, etc.) so Bob started introducing the latest songs he had written. Jupiter 2 was born (although at first Bob mistakenly called it "Jupiter 6" due to the memory transference between the 1960's SCIFI TV show and a Roland keyboard). With in a few months, an EP was recorded at the Fish Traks recording studios (know world wide for it's folk recordings). Jim Tierney engineered the sessions. The sound was of course "garagey" but also had a strong surf flavor due to Jim Tierney's crashing, slashing reverberated guitar sound. Every song was a single take save for the instrumental "Gorby Beach." The ending to that song was a bitch even for sober musicians.
Dead Girlfriend
Rodger Shosa
At this point the Jupiter 2's line up was Tom Colletta on lead vocals and harmonica, Bob Ford on guitar and Voxx organ, Jim Tierney on guitar, Scott Wilcox on bass and Rodger Shosa on drums. It was the original "Deuce." They practiced at a farm house in North Hampton, NH that was being rented by Bob and legendary Queers front man Joe King. They played maybe twice a month and practiced twice a week. Occasionally Bob and Joe's third roommate Harlan Miller would fill in on drums during practice. Harlan was with Gandhi's Lunchbox for the band's last six months or so. He had replaced the fleeing Chris Fortier on guitar.
During this period Bob wrote the song "Dead Girlfriend." These are the lyrics:
Tom Colletta
"I live with this girl but she doesn't live with me
she can't walk or talk, hell she don't even breath
she used to eat or drink,I think she would if she could
I save a little money but it don't smell so good
"She's my dead girlfriend
I love her just the same
she's my dead girlfriend
but I love her just the same
"She used to like it when ever I would hold her
now all I get is the cold shoulder
she looks a little pale, she's got bugs in her hair
when ever I move her, she sticks to the chair
"She's my dead girlfriend
and I love her just the same
she's my dead girlfriend
but I love her just the same
"She used to be cute and she used to be perky
now all she does is sit around and look like beef jerky
when she starts to bloat, I stick her with a pin
then there's more room for my lovin'!
"She's my dead girlfriend
and I love her just the same
she's my dead girlfriend
but I love her just the same
"I live with this girl but she doesn't live with me
she can't walk or talk, she don't even breath
now don't get me wrong, I ain't nobody's fool
she may not be warm but my girlfriend - she's cool"
Bob usually sang lead vocals on Dead Girlfriend while Tom concentrated on tambourine, harmonica and back-up vocals. Later, Tom would also terrorize the audience during the song with a Theremin. Here is the debut of Dead Girlfriend performed at a party with The Queers. Notice Bob screwing up the lyrics:
Dead Girl Friend
(4.3MB mp3)
Another recording was eventually made at Downtown Recorders in Boston, Mass. that included Dead Girlfriend. It was a totally live recording that featured seacoast NH rock impresario, record store owner and multi-instrumentalist Kevin Guyer on the Voxx. The sessions where recorded by long time Boston engineer/producer Jeff Whitehead who had worked with Gandhi's Lunchbox. Part of the session was paid for by a poker bet Bob had won with Jeff up at Scott's lake cabin in Maine.
The band's debut album "Dead Girlfriend And Other Love Songs" in 1993 featured both the Boston and Fish Traks recording sessions. Soon after, Bob went and got married and headed cross country for his honeymoon precipitating the first and least violent of the band's many break-ups.
PAGE TWO COMING SOON!
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Okay, so we're 15 days into 2009 and the wish for health is out the window already, happiness is hard to come by when you feel crummy, Soooo... that leaves my ONE LAST WISH; a JUPITER 2 PRACTICE... c'mon guys, help me out here LOL
Brothers and sisters! DOWNLOAD! GET STONED!!! -It's the most stoned xmas single ever! If you don't understand the lyrics, it's because you're on a BAAAAAAAAAAD TRP!!
rip isaac hayes. i'm told he named his wiener 'purple hayes.' also, rip rutherford b. hayes. and the first lady of the american theater, ms. helen hayes.
