Mr. L.A. Superglue

Dear Mr. Loctite Superglue.

Thank you for you quick response, although my gratitude extends only to this point.

Mr. Loctite Superglue my gratitude has ended. I do however take great great gratification in fastening another length of knotted rope around your wife, and believe me Mr. Superglue I have much much more (rope that is) as I have had to release your children on account of said rope failing to suppress their fast food induced bulk. Alexander and Xavier have fled through my small gooseberry shaped garage door and are currently bounding down "Myownpythonisshapedlikeaironingboard" Street. The ground is still shaking. I urge you to reconsider my near-geesian parking permit application, and I hope on feeling the embarrassment of seeing your children’s greased up warpath on national television, you will have the right mind to revoke Ms. Emmin's bed dwelling permit pass, and give it to me, a proud pencil driver and a devout sponsor of the RSPC-HB. On a side note, do you have any tips for making your wife’s paper mache head sit firmly back on her broomstick for a neck? As small bees keep landing on her ballooned yet square wheels, and attempt to start up an Elizabethan rave, I have keep calling the wasp police and you know how much she hates "the buzz".

Warmest underpants,

Early-Bird-Catches-The Perm

Good Morning,

I'm writing to inquire about the possibility of applying for a parking permit for the available space just to the left of the goose's armpit. I noticed the empty shadowy space when I was passing the giraffe's toenail looking for the new book “Walking the small narrow lanes of Brighton, looking for a job, a new life and a girlfriend.” by Henry the pan fried caterpillar. That's a great book by the way... So anyway I drive a small pencil and I have a clean licence, but a dirty mind. So if you could please please please consider my request I'll untie your wife and stop feeding your kids McDonalds and reality TV show propaganda.

Yours truly,

Early-Bird-Catches-The Perm