Old Slow Joe Profile (Please do not add or msg.)
www.myspace.com/slow_joe12is back.Mood: optimistic
Posted at 6:03 PM Dec 27, 2007 view more
Joseph Simmons
- CAPE CORAL, Florida, US
- Last Login: 11/26/2009
-
Interests
General
"I'm sick and tired of taking women out, spending a good nine or ten dollars on them, and then they just lay there like a lump on a log" -Robert Hawkins
"Why are people still getting married? Isn't anyone looking at the statistics? Isn't it that 50% of marraiges are going right down the shitter? If you were skydiving and they told you that half the parachutes weren't going to open, would you go?" -Bill Burr
"Sometimes I wonder what the hell I should be doing with my life. Once a friend gave me the advice to 'live everyday as if it were my last'. I tried. But let's face it...that's a LOT of beer." -Joe Simmons
These are NOT my interests! I just thought these lines were really funny.
Music
I like music...Movies
I like movies, too. What kind of stupid question is that?..Television
TV, except for Comedy Central, really, REALLY sucks. I mean really, REALLY, REALLY sucks! ..Heroes
.. .. .. .. .. ..> .. .. .. .. .. ..>
Details
- Status: Single
- Here for: Networking, Friends
- Hometown: Cape Coral, FL
- Orientation: Straight
- Body type: 5' 10" / Athletic
- Religion: Agnostic
- Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
- Children: Someday
- Smoke / Drink: No / Yes
- Education: College graduate
- Occupation: Mortgage Broker
Schools
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University Of South Florida
- Tampa,Florida
- Graduated: 1997
- Student status: Alumni
- Degree: Bachelor's Degree
- Major: Accounting
- Clubs: Accounting Circle
1993 to 1997 -
Cape Coral High School
- Cape Coral,Florida
- Graduated: 1989
- Student status: Alumni
- Degree: High School Diploma
- Clubs: 1985 - JV Football, Orchestra 1988/89 - DECA
1986 to 1989
Companies
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Lending Hand Mortgage Corp.
- Tampa, Florida US
- Mortgage Broker
12/02-current
Latest Blog Entries
- Mar 3, 2008 6:31 PM So…Still Hanging Around Here, eh? (Replies)
- Dec 30, 2007 5:01 PM The End is Near (Replies)
- Dec 19, 2007 7:49 PM A Dedication to the Best Friend I Lost Yesterday (Non-Humor) (Updated)
- Dec 15, 2007 7:33 PM Random Crap III: Random With a Vengeance (Replies)
- Dec 13, 2007 4:27 PM My Price Would Never Be Right (Replies)
Blurbs
About me:
To find out what a dork I can be, go here: My Official Blog!!
or click below:
Paste the below code onto your page and I'll be your best friend:
THE SLOW JOE MYSPACE BLOG GRAVEYARD (Thanks *Joe*):
My Iron-Clad $100 Guarantee to My Loyal Readers
Q & A With Slow Joe's Body Parts Episode II: The Penis Strikes Back
You Dared to Ask Me Questions...I Dared to Answer Them. Sorta.
Beware My "Blogs of Death"
A Quick E-mail From Tom About the HTML in Blog Comments
Love Hurts...Let Slow Joe Be Your Anti-Bacterial Ointment
Notes from an Emergency Meeting due to the Blog Contest
Blog Tag III: Slow Joe Strikes Back
Simulation (Non-Humor)
Please Ignore This Blog
Please Help Me Remain a Total Loser
I Stayed Home This Morning and Watched Enthralling, Amazing, High-Quality Daytime TV
What Was I Writing About Again?
One Long Run-On Sentence
Prejudice and Discrimination in the MySpace Humor Blog Contest
My Big Interview With Celebrity Journalists!
Potential Blog Taglines (Including My $100 Guarantee!)
My Internet is Down (an F-Word-laced rant)
I'm 36 Years Old...
Warning: Tagging Slow Joe May Cause Insanity
Tagged: More About Me Than You'd Ever Want to Know
I Had an Air About Me in Boston
With Me, Even Buying T-Shirts Can Be an Adventure (Official Blog)
What the Heck are “Kudos” Anyway?
My Price Would Never Be Right (Official Blog)
Random Saturday Morning
Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Buccaneers - Image Hosting
..Who I'd like to meet:
If I sent you a friend request, most likely one or more of the following applies to you:
1. You are someone I know in real life
2. You know someone I know in real life
3. You are a stand-up comedian whose act I laughed out loud watching
4. You write an excellent blog
5. You are otherwise creative in any of a myriad of ways
6. You leave comments on the same blogs I read
7. You are in one of the Dave Barry groups
8. Your profile indicates you have a great sense of humor, or
9. You are an incredibly hot chick (let's face it, I am male)
If I sent you a friend request even if your profile is marked "private", I promise I am harmless. But if you prefer to remain private, at least subscribe to my blog. Of course, then you may be glad you didn't befriend me. ;-)
HILARIOUS! This is most likely why I'm still single:
.. .. .. ..> .. .. .. ..>Great Bill Burr Clip:
Quite possibly the greatest music video I have EVER seen:
Friend Space (Top 35)
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Joseph Simmons aka "Slo…
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Lucky Lina
Lina Simmons
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inEVITAble
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Trojan's Bag
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T. Brad Hudson
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*La La*
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jenn
jenn resnick
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000inesa000
Inessa Iljenko
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Traci with an "i"
Traci Wilcox
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Kirsty
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Rhonda
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Sarimus Prime!!!!!!
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Michelle
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JD
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chrissie, the original …
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.: angie :.
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Sweet T.
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Sugartastic Cherie
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*Joe*
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Evil Genius
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Miss Amy
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X'Nedra
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JJA
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Notorious S.E.G.
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Chopped Liver
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Stephanie
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Katrina Brown
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Heather Hi5
Heather Paige
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Tom
Tom Anderson
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Jon
Jon Mack
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Humble B. Wonderful
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♥.Angie.v2.0.♥™
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amanda egge
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Dana DeArmond The Inter…
Dana DeArmond
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[NaTaLiA]
Comments
Oct 24 2009 2:20 PM
Oct 4 2009 12:58 PM
Jun 26 2009 7:04 PM
Poetstock!
Never before has this been done, and hopefully it will be successfully repeated after this all over the world, again and again….
Our aim is to bring together poets from all over, who produce all genres of poetry for a night of mingling, poetry, shameless self promotion…. Each poet will have the opportunity to read their work on stage, sell their work to those who would like to buy, and mingle with the best poets of our generation.
It will be held on Saturday, July 11, 2009 at 9 PM
And the owner of STUDIO PARK in Atlanta has been gracious enough to open his doors to us without charging us ANYTHING!!!
You seriously CAN’T miss this~you HAVE to be there! It is the chance of the lifetime, and the bigger we make it, the more attention we poets will get.
Poetry is NOT dead~let’s show the world that it is living and breathing~
***BTW~we are looking for a talented DJ to spin between reads~so if you have what it takes or know someone who does, please email me.
****ALL are welcome! Whether you are a poet, or love poetry, we hope you will all come, tell your friends about it, and your friends’ friends-blog it, bulletin it, email it, scream about it from the rooftops~Whatever it takes!!!
Apr 26 2009 10:49 PM
Just wanted to drop a line and say hi. Anytime you get bored, there is probably something new up on my blog. I write constantly and promise it's worth checking out. If it's not, feel free to delete me :)
More importanly, subscribe to it so you will know whenever a new one posts.
Click Here to Read It
and
Click Here to Subscribe
See you somewhere on the road!
-S
Jan 24 2009 3:02 AM
Enjoy your special day.
All my best,
~Heide~
Jan 24 2009 2:31 AM
Sexy Birthday Comments @ CommentsJunkie. com
Hope you had a great birthday!
Jan 23 2009 12:06 PM
Jan 23 2009 7:21 AM
Jan 22 2009 4:12 PM
Jan 22 2009 1:24 AM
Jan 22 2009 12:14 AM
Either way, happy birthday mi hermano.
Jan 21 2009 2:41 AM
Jan 20 2009 10:28 PM
Jan 19 2009 5:26 PM
Jan 1 2009 9:47 PM
Nov 16 2008 8:07 AM
May your lifetime glow and sparkle, May your days be cheerful and bright. May your home be filled with laughter and May your smiles
reflect light. May your heart and mind rest peacefully and May good health abound in you.
May you rejoice in all the pleasures That stem from family and friends and May you find comfort and mercy in the love that transcends...
May you always be successful and May your works be magnified.
May your hopes and dreams come true and May your love exude and flourish...These are "my wishes for you".
Sending Hugz your way, Karen
Nov 1 2008 6:56 AM
I hope all has been going wonderful for you. Make the best of your weekend and try to enjoy yourself, have fun
and relax.. Hugz... Karen
Within you is a strength that will let you rise to any challenge,
a hope that will see you through any day,
a talent that's destined to bring you rewards,
an energy that will help you realize your dreams,
a vision that will let you see beyond disappointment,
a willpower that will help you hang on during the roughest weather,
a courage that will let you face any problem head on.
Stay true to you and to your dreams, because it's clear that you're absolutely great!
Oct 31 2008 4:27 AM
MySpace Graphics & Free Myspace Layouts
Oct 30 2008 7:30 PM
MySpace Graphics & Free Myspace Layouts
Oct 20 2008 5:31 PM
;-)
Oct 4 2008 8:51 PM
bendiciones----nereyda----
Sep 23 2008 5:23 PM
Sep 12 2008 3:03 PM
If *he* won't come back to visit, will you???
♥
Sep 3 2008 8:59 PM
Aug 12 2008 11:12 PM
Send to friends / Add to profile
MySpace Comments
Just thought I'd stop by and leave a big purple dancing hippo on your page - 'cuz I've nothing better to do at the moment :^P