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Tim McIntire
Stand-Up / Stand-Up / Stand-Up
"My spirit guide showed up in a Camaro."

Male
38 years old
MEDFORD, MASSACHUSETTS
United States



Last Login: 7/4/2008
Mood: ninja Mood Image
View My: Pics | Videos

   Contacting Tim McIntire

 MySpace URL: 
  http://www.myspace.com/timmcintire  

   Tim McIntire's Comedian Bio
BioI am a stand up comic and writer in Boston, Massachusetts. Most people seem to really like my work, with the exception of producers, talent executives, agents, or managers. So I book my own gigs and produce my own records. It would all be very punk rock if I wasn’t so goddamned old.

I do gigs in hellholes that other comics are too smart to do. It is far more likely that I will someday perform in a prison cafeteria than in Las Vegas.

I’ve recently written a pretty good crime novel and am trying to get it published. If you can help me with this, please contact me so I can tell comedy to go fuck itself.

Sometimes I drink too much, and sometimes I don’t drink at all. When I drink, I like whiskey. American whiskey. Old Overholt rye or Maker’s Mark bourbon. I also like embarrassingly shitty beer, preferably Lone Star or Pabst Blue Ribbon. I own a beer cozy, and I don't own it ironically. Pot makes me depressed and chatty.

I have a wife and I have kids, all of whom I love more completely than the English language can describe. I love the Boston Red Sox just a little less than that.

I have been in Boston Magazine’s Best of Boston issue. I have been invited to several comedy festivals around the country. I have been on television. I have been featured on NPR. The Boston Globe called me a "comic on the verge of stardom." Just six short years later, the Herald called me a "breakout comic to watch."

I once fancied myself an angry young political comic. I have grown out of that phase. These days, I'd rather fish. Trout, not bass, because I went to college.
WebsiteTheMcintireConspiracy.com
InfluencesAlcoholism and Troy Baxley.
Members

TV ShowsComcast Comedy Spotlight
The Barry Nolan Show
Campbell's Comedy Corner (WAY better than Premum Blend)
FilmsLong Distance (2005)
Rev. Tim McIntire and the Temple of Comedy (2001)
AlbumsPoor Impulse Control
(2001)
Scatterbrain
(2006)

Buy the CD
album cover
click to order

    Tim McIntire's Interests
Music
MoviesFandango, Duck You Sucker, The Big Lebowski, Waking Life, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, The Matrix, The Professional, Kill Bill vols. 1 and 2, Drop Dead Gorgeous, The Dirty Dozen, O Brother Where Art Thou, Empire Records, Magnolia, Star Wars (pre-suck), FailSafe, Manchurian Candidate (Sinatra), The Thin Man, Wild at Heart, Me and You and Everyone We Know, Kung Pow, No Country For Old Men, The Trouble With Harry, The Abyss
TelevisionLost. Heroes. BSG.
BooksPattern Recognition, A Prayer For Owen Meany, Cannery Row, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Rum Diary, 1919, A Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich, Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World, The Scar, The Old Man and the Sea, Still Life With Woodpecker, Zombie, White Jazz, The Cold Six Thousand, Shella, The Getaway Man, Red Harvest, The Dain Curse, A Scanner Darkly, An Unfinished Woman, Travels With Charley, On The Road, The Last Picture Show, Gorky Park, South of the Border West of the Sun, The Big Sleep, Farewell My Lovely, Devil in a Blue Dress, Blue Highways, A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, Blindsight, Battle Royale, Trout Bum

     Tim McIntire's Details
Status:Married
Orientation:Straight
Body type:0' 0"
Religion:Other
Zodiac Sign:Sagittarius
Smoke / Drink:No / Yes
Children:Proud parent
Education:College graduate
Occupation:Misanthrope

   Tim McIntire's Schools
College Of Santa Fe
Santa Fe,New Mexico
Graduated: 1992
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Theatre Faggotry
Clubs: Spamdawg
 

1989 to 1992
Wasson High School
Colorado Springs,Colorado
Graduated: 1988
Student status: Alumni
 

1986 to 1988


Tim McIntire's Clips [View All Clips]
Clips: 3 Total Plays: 481 Plays Today: 0
Happy Ending
Happy Ending rating
Comedy Studio
Comedy Studio rating
Me on TV (kinda)
Me on TV (kinda) rating
 

Tim McIntire's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

An Open Letter to Orange Line Employees  (view more)

Fear and Loathing in Hyannis  (view more)

Last Comic Caring  (view more)

Heavy Rotation  (view more)

Apres Moi, Le Drizzle  (view more)

[View All Blog Entries]

   Tim McIntire's Blurbs
About me:
Who I'd like to meet:
Discordians; flyfishers; unabashed sluts; shootfighters; peyoteros; radio pirates; Jerry Remy.

   Tim McIntire's Friend Space (Top 16)
Tim McIntire has 730 friends.
 Kelly 


 John Keating 


 denise 


 Bakes 


 The Mighty "G" 


 The HellCat 


 Tom Bartos 


 Emergency Exit 


 Neal 


 John M. 


 Troy Baxley 


 Cricket 

Is Online
 drag the river 


 Brendan Boogie Band 


 Nick Zaino 


 Chuckanut Drive 





Tim McIntire's Friends Comments
Displaying 50 of 422 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
The HellCat





Jul 3 2008 8:38 AM

You are a badass! Fish everywhere are quaking in their...scales!
One Book Too Many


Is Online


Jul 3 2008 4:58 AM

Hope u r havin a good week. If not, the weekend is almost here.
Courtney Cronin





Jul 2 2008 8:52 AM

Good to see you at worlds biggest wedding.
Now shut the door.
Dave Decker





Jun 15 2008 1:11 PM

Great to see you again...awesome show last night!

DD
denise





Jun 12 2008 2:02 PM

it's been soooo hard tho. your team is making it soooo hard;)
Jamie Kilstein





Jun 12 2008 12:04 PM

ha! I don't believe you. Your gap bit is still one of my favorite and most quoted jokes ever. Unless its not the gap and another chain store in which case it will seem like I am lying. Which I am not.
GFUNNY





Jun 12 2008 10:19 AM

Tim!!! My teacher!

Great set at the Vault.
I enjoyed your comedy-it was COMCASTIC man!!!
James Blumenfeld





May 30 2008 8:27 PM

You're the only one I can share the passion with on this, the last days of May...

Parched land no desert sand, sun was just a dot
And a little bit of water goes a long way, cause its hot
Three good buddies were laughing and smoking in the back of a rented ford
They couldn't know they weren't going far

Each one with the money in his pocket
Could go out and buy himself a brand new car
But they all had the money they had
Money they hoped would take them very far

The sky was bright, a traffic light, now and then a truck
And they hadn't seen a cop around all day
They brought everything they needed
Bags and scales to weigh the stuff
The driver said the borders just over the bluff

It wasn't until the car suddenly stopped
In the middle of a cold and barren place
And the other guy turned and spilled
Three boys blood, did they know a trap had been lain?

They're ok the last days of may, Ill be breathing dry air
I'm leaving soon, the others are already there
You wouldn't be interested in coming along, instead of staying here
They say the west is nice this time of year
Renata





May 30 2008 10:13 AM

have i told you your bio on here is hilarious?
because it is. it's great.

:o)
Bakes





May 27 2008 10:22 PM

So ah...this Mattapan/Roxbury thing where these kids are carrying guns and shit...yah, it's for real...

Miss you buddy..hope all is well...
Curtin


Is Online


May 26 2008 12:51 PM

I could put you next to Shane Macgowan if you like...
One Book Too Many


Is Online


May 25 2008 5:32 PM

<a href='http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361263053'>Click here to buy your friends, get bought, and find out how much you're worth!</a><br/><br/><a href='http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361263053'><img src='http://cdn1.slicezero.com/oyf_prod/images/promotional/big3.jpg' border='0'/></a><br/><br/><a href='http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=361263053'><img src='http://cdn1.slicezero.com/oyf_prod/images/promotional/worthbutton.png' border='0'/></a> <br /><br /> -------------------------------<br /> <i>This comment was sent by your friend via the <a href="http://www.myspace.com/361263053">Own Your Friends!</a> application. To block comments sent via Apps. click <a href="http://profileedit.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=accountSettings.applicationSettings">here</a>.</i> <br />
denise





May 9 2008 8:44 PM

hey you - i've been on vaca in florida:) how can i talk any trash, although i guess the only team that's worse than mine is yours;)

other than your team sucking - how is everything?
RODNEY PARKER & FIFTY PESO REWARD





May 9 2008 12:29 PM

Thanks Tim.
Neal





May 9 2008 12:06 AM

I nominate myself as your only republican friend!
Shane


Is Online


May 8 2008 3:33 PM

It's been too long.
Cricket


Is Online


May 8 2008 11:52 AM

You do the planning, smart guy, and I'll do the sharp shooting. I might make a better cowboy than a ninja.
Rev. Hank





May 2 2008 1:11 PM

Hey you got a problem with stuffed cats?
denise





Apr 24 2008 10:12 PM

hey - how's it going? it's been a while!

miss talking to you!
One Book Too Many


Is Online


Apr 24 2008 10:32 AM

Whaat a week. 2 jobs. 13-hour days. I soooo can't wait for the weekend to get here. Hope you & yours are doing well. Have a good weekend.
Emergency Exit





Apr 15 2008 11:23 AM

I've never been but I'm not against it.
Emergency Exit





Apr 9 2008 8:14 AM

are we ever going to hang out again? I think we should.
Stacy





Apr 7 2008 7:25 AM

what's going on you ! Haven't
crossed cosmic triggers in a few..
Dave Decker





Mar 16 2008 7:36 PM

Tim McIntire Rocks Manch-Vegas!
Bakes





Mar 12 2008 3:24 PM

I agree....but who's my McLovin?
The HellCat





Mar 9 2008 11:29 PM

You're my favorite!
Emergency Exit





Mar 1 2008 7:17 AM

hahaha you're not lame maybe a little repetitive but not lame. As far as fishing goes I have never been but I'm not against it. Why do you ask?
That Guy Josh





Feb 2 2008 8:54 AM

I've really got to throw my weight behind a democratic candidate, or I'll feel like a major league sellout for last weekend.
Emergency Exit





Jan 30 2008 7:33 AM

I never see you any more. That makes me sad.
Taylor





Jan 28 2008 7:27 PM

Great show on Sat night, as always. Thanks for all the laughs.
Jon Law Hastings





Jan 5 2008 5:58 AM

Yo yo! Happy New Year and here's to a fantastic '08 for you and yours!!! Hope all is well! JLH
Yvonne





Dec 27 2007 7:50 AM

didn't you know that? I played strang and electric bass. I was in orchestra, jazz band, chamber orchestra, Youth Symphony and later on avaritey band. Were you in band? Saxophone right?
GFUNNY





Dec 26 2007 1:54 PM

Happy Holidays my friend!
K-Roc





Dec 25 2007 7:06 AM

Merry Christmas, and happy belated birthday!!!
The HellCat