"WHAT THE HELL MAN (NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH REGULAR HELL-MAN) THIS BAND HAS BEEN AROUND FOR EONS BUT IT SEEMS MORE LIKE 4 YEARS. THE SHIP WAS SKIDDING DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE PLANET'S SUFARCE AND SOMEBODY ON BOARD FLIPPED ON THE ISOTOPE TELEPORTATION BEAM JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME AND TRANSMOLECULARIZED THE ENTIRE CREW INTO ACTION FIGURES. THE DESIGN WAS WEAK BUT THE PROMOTION WAS STRONG, THE PACKAGING WAS DEEMED UNSAFE FOR CHILDREN UNDER THE AGE OF TWELVE SO CHRISTMAS BONUSES WERE WASTED IN LENGTHY LITIGATIONS WITH GRIEVING FAMILIES. I WAS IN A CAR, A SMALL RED FOREIGN HATCHBACK WITH THREE BIG RASTAFARIANS, KNEES PUSHED UP AGAINST THEIR CHESTS. THE DRIVER WAS WORKING THE PEDALS RATHER HAPHAZARDOUSLY AND NEARLY HITTING SHIT LIKE TREES AND ROAD-SIGNS. THE CAR HAS SPECIALLY DESIGNED ARTIFICIAL-INTELLIGENCE TURN SIGNALS AND WHEN HE HITS THEM A SYNTHETIC VOICE SAYS "Right turn, mon... left turn mon..." WE GET TO THE PARTY AND THE REST OF THE BAND IS IN THE TRUNK AND THERE ARE NOW 9 MEMBERS OF TRON (SIX DRUMMERS, ONE KEYBOARDIST, MYSELF AND A ONE-INCH-SHORTER CLONE OF MYSELF) AND THEY PILE OUT OF THE TRUNK LIKE A CIRCUS CLOWN CAR. THE SHOW GOES WELL BUT WE GET PAID WITH TWO ANTIQUE RADIOS AND BESIDES NOW IT'S A 9-WAY SPLIT...
IN WAKING LIFE THE BAND HAS BEEN COMPRISED OF TWO TO FOUR INDIVIDUALS, JOHN MCNEECE AND SIMEON DEKLE BEING COMMON TO ALL LINE UPS. AS A TWO PIECE WE USED EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF AMPLIFICATION TO FILL IN THE GAPS. NOW AS A THREE PIECE IT'S A LOT EASIER TO CARRY A COUPLE OF AMPS AND A DRUMSET TO A GIG AND BELIEVE ME IT'S PLENTY LOUD... PLUS THERE'S A LOT MORE ENERGY TO PLAY WHEN YOU'RE NOT EXHAUSTED FROM HOISTING HALF-A-DOZEN CABS. CHRIS FABIAN ORIGINALLY SANG AND WENT TOTALLY OFF THE MOTHERFUCKIN CHAIN AS FRONTMAN, NO ONE PLAYED BASS. BRIAN HEATH PLAYED BASS FOR LITTLE UNDER A YEAR, WHEN B. LEFT CHRIS PLAYED BASS, HIM & JOHN BOTH SANG. CHRIS LEFT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO, LEROY PLAYED BASS BRIEFLY AND JOHN STARTED SINGING FULL TIME. OUIKUT JOINED US A FEW MONTHS AGO ON BASS AND HAS EXPRESSED INTEREST IN SINGING ALSO BUT WE JUST HAVEN'T GOTTEN AROUND TO IT YET.
Residue from the early period may be found in the form of the "Tron Bloody Tron" CD, released by 12th Records in early 2006 (www.12threcords.com) essentially capturing the live spirit of the band but without all the fuss.
great show tonight guys, i pulled into the beta bar, popped my Tron CD in and cracked open my ghetto-mart beer.fucking rocked. the loch ness monster says what up.
